He Ran (So Far Away) But He Couldn’t Get Away

In February of last year, Daniel Gallagher was minding his own business, driving down at the Packer Marine Terminal. And then he turned and — whoops! — he ran over a giant flock of seagulls, killing 189 of them. A very common occurrence. I mean, who hasn’t this happened to?

Gallagher, 50, was in municipal court yesterday, but not to get a medal of commendation for doing the world a favor by killing a bunch of dump gulls. No, he is on trial for killing those infernal birds, which is sort of like being arrested for kicking a pigeon. (Sorry, Sara.)

The prosecution used all its powers to attempt to convict this hero, introducing every piece of evidence except thousands of letters to Santa Claus.

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