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Man Gets Hit By Newspaper Honor Box

Dear Bosses:

Please come up with a hilarious nonsensical ad campaign such as this one for the alt-weekly Oklahoma Gazette.

RACK!,
D-Mac

[via The Slog]

New Gonzo Newspaper To Offend All Philadelphians

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Attention, local college grads: Job market got you down? That comparison essay of Swift’s and Homer’s satire not getting you the job at the New York Times you expected? That’s okay. As long as you are skilled in the Gonzo™ style of journalism, you can work for this dude with a business plan of “sort of like that Moscow English language newspaper popular in the late 1990s”:

Sick of the Philadelphia Weekly and City Paper molesting your pupils with pseudo-alternative bile? I am looking to launch a Gonzo-style paper in the fall/winter, with most of the logistics being worked out over the summer. I need a staff. Someone who can design page layouts, a photographer, and some part-time writing contributers. A law student would also be handy to keep us just barely on the right side of libel. More details will be provided later, but you must first prove your Gonzo credentials. Tell or show me in any way you like.

I don’t plan by any means to rip-off the eXile, but if you aren’t familiar with it there is a good chance you are wasting your time. This is a mission designed to offend the general public for about six months and then fail for millions of potential reasons, and we might even be able to make a dollar. Convince me you can work hard to deliver quality Gonzo journalism.

Oh man. I’m totally applying asking to write that column in The eXile where that dude has sex with a hooker and reports on how good she was.

Gonzo Staff Needed [Craigslist]

We Have Seen The Future Of Alternative Weeklies

And it involves big boobs.

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The Miami New Times, everyone!

Win a free breast augmentation!! [Miami New Times]

Red, Gray And Black Walls Mean YOUTH!

060706impulse.jpg When a story’s headline says, “New magazine caters to hip set,” you can be sure that said new magazine will not cater to the hip set in any way. Of course, I’m not sure if there such a thing as a “hip set” anywhere, let alone in New Jersey. Still, let’s give them a shot. Well, let’s poke fun at them, then give them a shot later.

Nonetheless, the Camden Courier Post has launched The Impulse, which I suppose is going to compete with Philly EDGE in the battle of suburban alt-weekly-ish papers. The paper’s going to hit newsstands tomorrow, but since there’s already a website with some first-issue content up, we can see if they’ve completed the checklist for new arts/entertainment/lifestyle/whatever magazines in the 21st century:

  • Boobs. Check.
  • References to drinking lots of alcohol. Check.
  • Awkward photo galleries taken at recent bars. Check.
  • Strip club and/or escort ads. Check. (This last trait is shared by several other fine, long-running alt weeklies in the area.)

Looks like Impulse has all its bases covered. And why would it not? From the Courier-Post’s article about the mag’s launch:

The tone of Impulse is set in its offices down the hall from the Courier-Post newsroom in Cherry Hill. The staff has painted the walls red, gray and black, and has invited a graffiti artist to decorate the rest of the wall.

Earlier this week in the office, copy editor Bridget Smith, 22, walked around without her shoes while Jason Nark, 28, a former cops reporter for the Courier, excitedly opened a new Super Mario Brothers video game sent to him for review. [...]

And on the massively popular site MySpace, Impulse — which can be found at MySpace.com/impulseonline — already has 142 friends.

“I think Impulse is needed because South Jersey is dead in terms of youth energy,” Smith said.

I’m almost afraid to read this magazine it’s going to be so hip. But I’ll try to do a full, more accurate report when I get my hands on a copy. (Unless it’s not available at the Patco stop by my apartment. Or I forget.)

Update, 4:50 p.m.: Okay, I missed this paragraph when I first wrote this, but I’d like to share it with you now:

The Impulse staff said to expect, when appropriate, colloquial and colorful language not found in traditional newspapers. There’ll be some “gonnas” — but no “LOLs,” the staff said.

New magazine caters to hip set [Camden Courier-Post]
The Impulse Online
Philly EDGE

Blogicized: Viva La Bam

• West Chester just might be the next great small town. No doubt at least in part due to Bam Margera.

• Even if David Bell and Mike Lieberthal stink it up this year, the Phillies could have a shot to content. This is backed up with actual data. Let’s not start getting excited, though. [Mike's Baseball Rants]

• Ex-Philadelphia Independent staff writer Christine Smallwood asks the question, “Can making stuff up in the Village Voice get you a book deal?” Ehm, maybe, but does anyone actually buy books like that? [The Notion]