Beating, Thanking A Dead Horse

Oh, just when you thought the news was all Don Imus and Jon Corzine comes the news about two new important bills pending on Capitol Hill. Our Congresspeople have gotten together to propose two Barbaro-related bills.

Well, the first bill doesn’t mention Barbaro at all, but it is a ban on eating horses. (Well, it’s the actual clever workaround of banning eating horses by banning the transportation of horses for slaughter. Same thing.) And, of course, we would never know about this bill at all if not for Barbaro.

Now, I have absolutely no interest ever in eating a horse. First off, I bet they taste like shit. And anybody who wants to eat a non-Barbaro horse is a little off in my book. But I believe every American should have the God-given right to eat whatever animal they want, even bald eagles. (Especially bald eagles! What better way to celebrate freedom than by eating it!)

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Is Raj A Cunt Who Called His Opponent A Bitch?

Raj Bhakta, the Apprentice castoff-turned-Congressional candidate, is in a bit of hot water lately. The 13th District hopeful allegedly called his opponent a “liberal bitch.” He also allegedly said that he didn’t “give a shit about the campaign.” (At Byko’s annual comedy night, Allyson Schwartz’s chief of staff, Daniel McElhatton, joked that the congresswoman “is no liberal.” Rimshot!)

Of course, the rumor was told to The Hill by a Democratic staffer, so you have to take it with a grain of salt. Bhakta has also denied the charges:

The Republican called it “worse than outrageous” that The Hill would print something based on the word of an anonymous Democratic staffer. It’s “ludicrous,” he said, to suggest he doesn’t care about the campaign. ¶ “Ask the twenty-thousand people I’ve met in the Northeast. Ask the one-hundred people who showed up in Bridesburg for my first emergency crime forum,” he said. “Let me tell you something. I’m very serious that the Northeast is going to be destroyed unless someone stands up and says, ‘Stop.’”

Damn, Raj, why you have to play with me like that? If you ran on a campaign of not giving a shit, I’d be your No. 1 supporter. We’d even spell your last name right every once in a while.

Raj: I didn’t call her that [Northeast Times]
Archives: Raj Bhakta
Related: Chicago Tribune or George Carlin? [Regret the Error]