Leftovers: Sixers Plan Trade of AI To Mom’s Team

• Allen Iverson’s mom has gone an bought herself a basketball team! The Richmond Iversons Warriors will play in the ABA, a small pro league where anyone with $20,000 and a dream can buy a team. Look for her at courtside, holding up a “THAT’S MY TEAM!” sign. [AP/FOX Sports]

• Appearing on FOX News Sunday, Delaware Senator Joe Biden refuted the notion that he’s too Northern (I guess) to run for President. How so? To wit: “You don’t know my state. My state was a slave state. My state is a border state. My state has the eighth-largest black population in the country. My state is anything from a Northeast liberal state.” Tune into the Sunday talk shows next week, when Biden notes all the lynchings the state’s had. [Wonkette]

• A report says that 24 percent of Philadelphians report being sexually abused. Fortunately, this puts us on par with other cities in the country. Er, wait. [CBS 3]

• Pagans — the, uh, loosely affiliated religious groups, not the motorcycle gang — recently held a conference in Fort Washington. How wild was it? As the Northeast Times notes, “They even wore T-shirts, tank tops, shorts, skirts, sneakers and sandals. And some had baseball caps, too.” [NET]

• It’s going to be a little longer before Northeast Philadelphian and astronaut goes into space, as the shuttle launch has been delayed. [AP/Yahoo!]

• Don Vito is heading home after his arrest. [AP/6 ABC]

Iverson’s Tats To Stay Put?

The big sports story today is that, according to Stephen A. Smith, Allen Iverson isn’t going anywhere. Basically, the 76ers don’t want to be the sucker and get nothing for the future Hall of Famer.

Here’s Philly.com’s front page:

Yeah, that’s the first thing I think of when I think about Iverson leaving town. The tattoos.

Stephen A. Smith | 76ers won’t accept lame offers for lame duck [Inquirer]
Vote: If he left, what would you miss most — The tattoos? [Philly.com]

Leftovers: JGT, RPS Champ

• I got a call on Saturday night when I was heading out the door from a friend. “Hey, we were just at the Rock Paper Scissors championship,” he said. “Guess who won?” I asked if he did. “No, Johnny Goodtimes! He won a thousand dollars!” I’m not positive on this, but normal people do not receive these kinds of calls. [Johnny Goodtimes]

• A Montco lawmaker wants to ban cell phone use while driving. Then, he’s going to ban riding a motorcycle without talking on your cell at the same time. [KYW 1060]

• Sorry, A.I. haters! Ed Snider did not order a trade of the Lilliputian 76ers guard, although he did tell Billy King to stop signing shitty players. [Daily News]

• A rare copy of the Emancipation Proclamation — as opposed to the ones just floating around — was moved to the African American Museum for a Juneteenth celebration. Accompanying it were impersonators of Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass and Lucretia Mott. How does one go about hiring a Lucretia Mott impersonator? Are they in high demand? [Inky]

• Oh, yeah: The Yankees are in town this week. Uh oh. [Beerleaguer]

Leftovers: Mummery Of Years Past

• From the George Grantham Bain Collection at the Library of Congress comes this photograph of mummers in 1909 (click to enlarge). Wait, there was a time at the Mummer’s Parade before all the spectators were wearing Eagles jackets and the mummers carrying Eagles flags? Wow. [Library of Congress via Criminently, Nutsey!]

• Now that the Inquirer and the Daily News have been sold, what will happen to those plucky, talented writers who do their jobs and don’t complain and are pretty talented individuals, to boot? Here’s the scary part: We don’t know. [NYT]

• Pennsylvania, apparently, has an official, state-licensed Wine of the Month Club. Naturally, the wines are shipped to your local state store once a month, and not to somewhere a bit more convenient. [KYW 1060]

• In a book review, Malcolm Gladwell says that on average, Allen Iverson hasn’t even been the best player on his team some years. Ho ho! Good one, Mr. Gladwell! Oh… wait… you’re serious? Well, do you mean Matt Geiger or Nazr Mohammed? Or do you mean Michael Cage? [The New Yorker]

• And, finally, former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey had anonymous gay sex at Jersey rest stops, he admits in his new book. Well, so much for his new book being boring! More on this tomorrow, God willing. [AP/NBC 10]

From The ‘Holy Crap, How’d I Miss This Before’ Dept.

Via The Illadelph, comes this amazing, amazing t-shirt drawn by local artist Thom Lessner (of Space 1026):

Okay, it might not look all that much like Iverson. But, c’mon, do you remember those A.I. bobbleheads? They looked more like me than Alley I.

The Answer T-Shirt [Urban Arts]
Further evidence that Allen Iverson should never, ever be traded [The Illadelph]

No Tipping For Allen Iverson?

An item in today’s Daily News‘ gossip column, from Dan Gross:

Wharton grad Donald Trump unveiled a new “Apprentice” slot machine at the Trump Taj Mahal on Saturday night and gave away three trips for two to Los Angeles to attend the season finale of his popular NBC reality show. We wonder if Taj regular Allen Iverson will try his luck on the new machines, between stiffing cocktail servers and valet attendants as he’s been known to do.

Now, now, Dan, we know he yelled at you last year, but couldn’t you have found a better way to get that dig in there than a lame new slot machine launch? I mean, geeze, Donald Trump doesn’t need any more publicity.

Trump takes trip to Taj [DN, last item]
Dec. 15, 2005: Allen Iverson, nun in off-court brawl

Sixers Don’t Show Up For 81st Time This Season; Fans Finally Notice

If the fans at the Wachovia Center hadn’t traded their guns for 76ers tickets, surely there was a chance shots could have been fired at last night’s game.

The Sixers — already eliminated from the playoffs — beat the Nets last night, but Allen Iverson and Chris Webber didn’t play, and they didn’t even show up until just before tip-off.

Predictably, this angered the fans — it was fan appreciation night, after all — and the local papers and TV stations are all over it, but what made anyone think the Sixers were going to show up at all, anyway? The 101 points per game they’ve given up this year? The stellar play of John Salmons? Their play down the stretch, where they lost 15 of 22 games coming into last night, including a 33-point loss to Cleveland? Oh, but they did win back-to-back games against the mighty Knicks!

Allen Iverson might have had his best season and the team still will finish with a losing record. Andre Iguodala may have regressed this year, but at least he was second in the dunk contest! (Ooh, and he was MVP of the Rookie-Sophomore Game, too.)

Sure, Iverson and Webber should have showed up to the game on time. The 76ers could have said that the pair weren’t playing to be fair to the fans. Iverson’s been pretty much allowed to do whatever he’s wanted to since he was drafted by the 76ers. What do you expect? Oh, yeah, and guns and pot were allegedly found in an Iverson-owned car, too. But, as we all know, no NBA players smoke marijuana. (Joking aside, it doesn’t seem like the stuff in the car has anything to do with Iverson.)

The 2001 trip to the finals is pretty much all forgotten now. I don’t know what the 76ers should do in the offseason, but it seems like they’re going to have to trade one of their star players. Is it Iverson’s time to go? All I know is, the last time the team traded a superstar — no, not Shawn Bradley — it didn’t quite work out all that well.

Last night’s game could have been worse. The Phillies once sat Scott Rolen on Scott Rolen T-Shirt Day. Now that’s how you alienate a fanbase. You have a long way to go to reach that level of incompetence, Sixers.

Gone, but not forgotten [Daily News]
Guns & pot found in car owned by Iverson [Daily News]

Leftovers: Disgusting! Disgusting!

• Little Caesars is coming back to Philadelphia! I hope they still have the cheese that tastes like cardboard; that was totally the best part. [AP/USA Today]

• Want to ref the World Cup later this year? You have to be able to speak English. And you have to be able to pull out a red card in less than 3.2 seconds after a slide tackle from behind. [Reuters/Yahoo!]

• Daylin Leach is having a townhall meeting! Go and see if he’ll do one of his trademark Leach Vents. [Save Ardmore Coalition]

#&8226; A.I. will be back in the lineup tonight, hoping to right the sinking ship that is the 76ers. Good luck, dude. [Inky]

Quickies: It’s snow time!

• Get to the ACME! There’s a storm comin’! [NBC 10]

• Neil Stein will report to prison on Friday as he begins his one-year sentence for tax evasion. But, it’s okay, because Oprah named Rouge’s burger the best in the nation. Enjoy it while you can, Neil! [Inky]

• President Bush says he’s going to catch Osama Bin Laden. With this administration’s luck, he’ll have Bin Laden, try to shoot him and accidentally hit a Republican campaign donor instead. [CNN.com]

• The U.S. Olympic team says they don’t need any six-foot guards. Eh, that makes sense, I guess, since it’s basketball and all, and… oh, it’s Allen Iverson? Well then. [Inky]

Blogicized: Alien Iverson

• In case you were wondering, ESPN thinks Allen Iverson is from Mercury. Let’s hope Matt Cord starts announcing him as “a six-foot guard… from MERCURY!” in introductions at the Wachovia Center from now on. [The 700 Level]

• Much like he did in Philadelphia, Hugo Chávez has delivered his discounted oil to homes in Delaware. This is part of a new U.S. tactic to eventually have every citizen in America buy gas and oil from Chávez, therefore bankrupting Venezuela into democracy! [Delaware Watch]

• What you should have done for your Valentine’s Day date: heart-shaped pizza. Aww. [Asymptomatic]

• In the new Quinnipiac Poll, Ed Rendell got six touchdowns, six extra points and two field goals while Lynn Swann only got five touchdowns, four extra points and one two-point conversion. (He went for two late in a comeback attempt.) [America's Hometown]