Cancer Merchants

Apropos of nothing, I found this icon/thread title combination on Phillyblog pretty hilarious. The thread’s pretty awesome, too, especially when the “I hope you get cancer!” accusations start flying.

Oh, yeah, and apparently somebody posting in the thread is related to Bud Dwyer, bahahaha. I don’t think it can get any better than this.

Alex’s Lemmonade [sic] Stand Lowes Hotel [Phillyblog]

Leftovers: Amazing Paperboys Deliver!

• Yesterday, some would-be Bucks County robbers apparently didn’t know that paperboys don’t really carry any money, and they tried to rob them. The twin brothers ran away, but the suspects were later seen shooting paintballs at pedestrians. You know, when you rob the paperboy, you’ve sunk pretty low, but — as these men show — you can certainly go lower. [6 ABC]

• Police have released the surveillance video of the robbery at Alex’s Lemonade Stand. The video shows actual cancer cells ransacking the place! Gasp! [CBS 3]

• The Lehigh U. bank robber has gotten 22 months to 10 years in prison. Damn you, Party Poker! [AP/Metro]

• There is a push going on to ban hotel room porn. All together now: From my cold, dead hands. [Pandagon]

• Judge Lisa Richette was attacked for the third time in the last 20 years on a Philadelphia Center City streetcorner. On the plus side, the Daily News printed the word “bitch” (twice!) in a non-Byko column. [Daily News]

• Today in Metro: Talladega Nights is not just a stupid Will Ferrell movie, it’s the most important piece of satire since Jonathan Swift wielded his mighty pen. [Metro]

• And, finally, the Inquirer has discovered instant messaging. Just wait until they find out about that hip, new search engine Yahoo.com. [Inquirer]

Thieves Make Lemonade Out Of Robbery

Well, I mean, duh. If you’re going to rob Alex’s Lemonade Stand, you might as well steal lemonade while you’re at it.

Young thieves vandalize Alex’s Lemonade Stand [Inquirer]

Leftovers: Oh, Pennsylvania

• Thank you, KYW 1060, for this lead: “At a county fair you can usually buy hot dogs, funnel cakes, and maybe a t-shirt or stuffed animal. ¶ But at Pennsylvania’s Clearfield County Fair, three vendors have some very different items on sale. They’re hawking Nazi and Ku Klux Klan merchandise. ” Bonus: A lawyer was hospitalized for dehydration after he chained himself to the courthouse in protest. [KYW 1060]

• It’s not just humans who don’t like the heat wave. Plants — yes, plants — don’t like it, either. Bonus points for the Petunia/Rose/Daisy line. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Some kids broke into the headquarters of Alex’s Lemonade Stand and stole a bunch of money. Then they scattered Alex’s Lemonade wristbands on the roof. (Gasp!) This is just like when Bart chopped off Jebediah Springfield’s head. [NBC 10]

• Hey, did you see what happened in Wilkes-Barre? The guy who bought the Times Leader went and became publisher and editor. Hmm. I wonder where else that could happen… [Times Leader]