Green Collar is the New… Uh… Whatever

I may be three hours behind you people, but your humble guest editor is on the job. Tonight, I subjected myself to about ninety minutes of Democratic National Convention speeches in order to glean wisdom and absorb change. Here are a few observations:

- The phrase “Green Collar Job” was repeated dozens of times by several different speakers. I had heard it being bandied about casually in the past, but I think I witnessed the actual birth of an annoying catch phrase tonight.

- Your own PA Sen. Bobby Casey, Jr. sure does sound like a muppet. Kermit, to be exact. But on the plus side, he unintentionally led the crowd in several chants of “four more months!” which delayed his speech for about a minute.

- Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano was all like, “You think I give a rats ass if McCain is from my state? I hope that sucker loses, hard!” Those were her exact words, really.

- The big name Republican the DNC booked for tonight? Jim Whitaker, mayor of Fairbanks, Alaska (Population: 31,000; Notoriety: zero). Way to stick it to the other party, guys! Whitaker is clearly a bigger get than the Republican’s pick of, uh, former candidate for Vice President and current Senator Joe Lieberman (D., Conn.).

- The news media is just dying to make a huge deal out of Clinton supporters refusing to support Obama. Dying, I tell you. It’s funny to hear all the politicians being interviewed being like, “Shut up, please.”

- I apparently missed Gov. Ed Rendell speak. Did anyone see him? Did he go off prompter?

- The basic message of former Virgina Governor and keynote speaker Mark Warner: Walnuts McCain is more of the same. We’ve already heard this message 5,000 times tonight.

OK, that’s about all the news coverage I can take tonight. See you tomorrow, possibly with some words on Clinton’s speech.

Blogicized: When Mr. Bush Gets Angry, People Die

• A new memo, written before the start of the Iraq war, reveals that Bush was sending us into war even if Saddam apologized and sent the U.S. a nice basket of apples. Seriously, does this even surprise anyone? It’s like the big news about Barry Bonds being on steroids. What a shocker! Next, you’ll tell me that President Bush might’ve underestimated the military force an invasion of Iraq would take! Oh, wait, the memo says that, too. Hey, but at least nobody got hurt, right? Er. [Dick Polman's American Debate]

• At his talk at Penn last week, Kevin Smith mentioned that, hey, Jason Mewes — that’d be “Jay” in “Jay and Silent Bob” — had sex with Nicole Richie in a bathroom stall. Somebody wrote about it in a blog and another blog picked it up and then another and another and, suddenly, it’s in the newspapers. And Kevin Smith is now going, “D’oh!” over the whole thing. Of course it’s news over the fact that Mewes overcame his drug addiction! We Americans like our news as disgusting as possible, and really it doesn’t get any lower than screwing Nicole Richie in a bathroom. [Defamer]

• Josh Beckett got into a spat with everyone’s new favorite Phillie, Ryan Howard, yesterday, but no punches were thrown. Which is good, because I think Howard would tear Beckett in half like a baseball card. [Beerleaguer]

• What’s the best thing a Philly expat can do? Why, lead his team to a victory in a lego competition in Alaska, of course! What else do you do after you leave town? [To Philly, From Alaska, With Love]