The Political Machine, Bisexuals And Dead Kittens: It Must Be The Primary!

I’ll just come out and say it: Yesterday was the greatest primary in the history of Pennsylvania. I know, I’ve only been on this planet for 20-plus years, but I don’t think any other primary voting could have topped yesterday.

Consider:

• The two top Republicans in the Senate — Bob Jubelirer and Chip Brightbill — were trounced yesterday. They both voted for the pay raise, which was, essentially, the reason they lost in the primary. And they outspent their opponents by huge margins. I think government is probably going to waste money in one way or another, but it’s always kind of nice to see long-time incumbents knocked out of office. (Well, not nice for them.)

That’s not the reason this is so good, though. Brightbill was running against Mike Folmer, and the Daily News‘ John Baer describes the final days of the race as such:

It included a last-minute TV ad involving a woman with whom Folmer admitted having a decade-old affair - a woman who later sued Folmer, claiming bad financial advice.

It also involved a charge from the Folmer camp suggesting Brightbill supporters might have killed a kitten, Twister, owned by Folmer’s press aide.

Brightbill’s spokesman dismissed the suggestion, saying, “I can’t emphasize enough how much I love cats.”

You see, rest of the state? This is why Philadelphia hates you (and why, in turn, you hate us). Our politics are stupid, ridiculous, over-the-top and annoying, but we rarely, if ever, kill kittens or accuse people of doing so.

• Speaking of Philadelphia, the hotly contested 175th District — which had a three-way race and lots of fun arguing — went to Mike O’Brien, who defeated Anne Dicker and Terry Graboyes. Graboyes, who was backed by Ed Rendell and Vince Fumo, actually finished third behind the progressive, bisexual Dicker, a fave of men, women and bloggers. Naturally, Graboyes said went off with a “I coulda been a contender, I coulda been somebody”:

“If Anne Dicker hadn’t been there, I would have trampled,” she said. “And I will still never understand [why she ran]. Obviously it was more important to make her point than elect a progressive woman to the House.”

Oh, wah wah. Oh, and I couldn’t fit this in anywhere else, so I’m just going to throw it here: Voting for Dicker, who is bisexual (and married), is probably the closest most voters in the 175th will get to a threesome. (Rimshot.)

• The Democratic machine did possibly pull off an upset win in the 179th in North Philly, where the only candidate on the ballot (Tony Payton) might’ve lost to a write-in candidate (Emilio Vasquez), the fave of party leaders, who was knocked off when he failed to disclose his employer when filing his petitions. Sigh. Payton, naturally, is claiming people handing out stamps with Vasquez’ name, which is — surprise! — illegal. (Correction: It’s illegal if they’re handed out inside the polling place; legal if it’s 10 feet outside. But of course.)

• And, hey, Chuck Pennacchio lost, but he did beat Alan Sandals, who he was polling below (I think) prior to the primary. Of course, Bob Casey got 84 percent of the vote and will be taking on Rick Santorum in November.

Pennsylvania Election Results [AP/Philly.com]

Hey, It’s Election Day!

Hey, it is election day! And, depending on where you live, you might actually have a contested race in this primary. Since virtually every state legislator took the pay raise — the real tricky ones voted against it and then took it — the people have risen up! It’s democracy in action! Whoo!

Well, until they all get trounced today and we have the same state representatives we’ve always had. But, hey, at least none of our current lawmakers kick kittens. As far as I know.

There’s also a race for U.S. Senate, where state treasurer and noted mime Bob Casey faces a pair of upstart challengers that may, if they’re lucky, combine for about 10 percent of the vote. However, in early exit polling, Chuck Pennachio leads Casey and Alan Sandals 100 percent to 0. Of course, I only polled Albert Yee. It is raining today, so there’s a chance that only about 15 people will vote — which usually bodes well for underdogs.

The biggest things on the ballot today are, of course, the two referendums we citizens of Philadelphia are being asked. The first question is kind of the same thing as the question last year, i.e. ethics board and no “pay to play” and all that jazz. I don’t know why we need to be asked again, but, hey, whatever.

The other question concerns a proposal to put up cameras in “high-crime areas” so that the police might be able to catch criminals easier. As my only endorsement of this election, let me urge you to vote no on this. No, it’s not the Big Brother stylings of it — please, we’re filmed everywhere we go — it’s that I know very well that the City of Philadelphia will have these cameras and somehow screw things up. Come on. You know a crook will commit a crime right in front of a camera, and a raccoon will have eaten the tape or something, and it’ll be a mess.

Actually, that’d be kind of funny. Maybe you want to vote yes on that after all.

At Pa. polls, a moment of truth [Inky]

Blogicized: Good news, bad news

• Will Bunch tell us all what we already unfortunately know: If Knight-Ridder is sold, bye bye Daily News. Sigh. [Attytood]

• Phillies outfielder and cop puncher Jason Michaels is reportedly being traded to the Indians for reliever Arthur Rhodes. Uhh, boo? Yay? No idea. [Beerleaguer]

• Photoblogger Brad Maule has a detailed photo essay on the South Street Bridge and its crumbling facade in 2003. [Phillyskyline]

• The Inquirer’s Inga Saffron has more commentary on Trump’s condo tower as well as a recap of Penn’s seminar on the Philly construction boom (that I forgot to go to) last night. [Changing Skyline]

• The Philadelphia Business Journal reported today that 36 cruise lines will leave from Philadelphia in 2006, and the economic impact of the cruises went up $42 million dollars. Wow. Donald Trump should build a cruise ship instead of a condo tower. [America's Hometown]

• Dueling blog posts in the race for the Democratic nom for U.S. Senate: Alan Sandals says he won last night’s debate, while Chuck Pennacchio says that nobody won the debate and chides the Sandals release for spelling his name wrong. Meanwhile, the Flash-laden website of Bob Casey — who didn’t attend, and who might be a mute — crashed my fucking computer and made me re-write this post. You’re in deep water, Mr. Casey. Deep.