Wretched Refuse Of Your Teeming Shore, Indeed

The Inquirer’s long profile of longshot Republican mayoral candidate Al Taubenberger contained an interesting tidbit about his family’s past:

Alfred Sr., who came to America in 1930, was detained in 1941 for almost 18 months at Army bases in New Jersey, Maryland, Texas and North Dakota.

Taubenberger made the discovery while applying for visas for a family trip to Germany. His father hadn’t told him “because he never wanted me to have a bad feeling about this country, which he loved so much.”

He loved this nation that locked him up without cause for 1 1/2 years. God bless America!

Uphill climb for Taubenberger [Inquirer]

Mayor’s Race To Excite ~5 Percent Of Residents

Hey, kids! Don’t forget! We got a mayor’s race coming up!

Despite Michael Nutter winning the election back in May, there’s still a formality of electing him again in November, because of this pesky thing called “democracy” which doesn’t let the Democratic party just win every election even though they have a 9π-to-1 (or something) registration edge in the city. And so, Nutter must fight back such candidates as Republican and ex-landscaper Al Taubenberger, awesome meatpacking socialist John Staggs, nobody from the Green Party — Kerry Foster, where are you? — and independent ineligible write-in candidate Larry West.

So far, it’s been the friendliest mayoral race in history, with Taubenberger going so far as to say that maybe the Democrats haven’t done the best job at running the city, but they haven’t bombed any city blocks in a while, so, you know. Larry West has also apparently been making the rounds attempting to get the Ozzfest voting bloc, from this comment on his Myspace: “Hahahaha, it was nice meeting you before Ozzfest.”

KYW 1060 reports Labor Day is the unofficial start of the campaign season in Philadelphia, but nobody is really going to notice this year since Taubenberger has like 50 bucks in the bank and a website from 1994 with “Page 1″ in the title field.

Philadelphia Mayor’s Race, Easy To Overlook [KYW 1060]

Al Taubenberger Views Mayoral Race As T-Ball Game

Republican mayoral candidate Al Taubenberger, on his uphill battle for the mayoral nomination:

“I don’t think any Republican nominee in a long time has had as much fun as I have,” he said.

Well, I’m sure he’s having more fun than previous Republican nominee Sam “Party All Night” Katz, whose sense of humor I am familiar with. Hopefully Taubenberger can continue to have fun, and maybe the mayor’s race will end in a tie or something. Everybody wins!

Focused on City Hall [The Bulletin]
April 9: Sam Katz Angrily Responds To Idiot Blogger

Taubenberger: Give Me Money Even If You’re For Nutter

It may not seem like it, but there are just 82 days left until the mayoral election. It seems like just yesterday Milton Street was announcing his candidacy by singing while draped over a casket, but, yes, we are under three months away from Michael Nutter (D) vs. Al Taubenberger (R).

Everyone knows Nutter already has the mayor’s race locked up — he is, after all, a Democrat in Philadelphia running against a German-speaking ex-landscaper from the party of President Bush — but that doesn’t mean Taubenberger doesn’t get a chance to make his bid for mayor. Even if his website is worse than Larry West’s or his campaign literature (at right) includes a photo where they didn’t even bother to go into the bright light. (Vote for Al Taubenberger: The shadow knows!)

Taubenberger is by all accounts a tremendously nice guy and fairly competent, especially for a Northeast Philly native. (More competent that I am, at least.) Basically, if he were running against John Street, you’d vote for him.

But his website, though. Let’s take a look.

You’ll notice the flip side of the card. Page 2. Most candidates list issues they believe in. We all believe in the same thing. We want more jobs, (actually, that’s my specialty) better schools (we have to raise the bar and demand more from students,) safer streets and honesty in government. As you might have noticed, I didn’t list issues. I asked for contributions so I can run TV commercials and do some newspaper ads. I didn’t think I’d get much, but I was surprised. I got more than enough to pay for the piece. A lot more. And that’s the kind of mayor I want to be. Do more with less.

P.S. Surprise me. Fill out the reverse side of the card and send a few bucks so we can get the word out about the issues that are important to all of us. Send something even if you’re for Mike. Worst case possible, he’ll hear some great ideas.

“That’s the kind of mayor I want to be. No issues, no bullshit, right now I just need your money in order to run the campaign. I’ll even take your money if you’re voting for Nutter.” Hey, he’s right, I am loving his honesty.

MayorAl2007
Archives: Al Taubenberger

You Can Call Him Al

While Republican mayoral candidate Al Taubenberger’s website remains unchanged since May, he is starting to make some headway in the traditional campaigning front. The Daily News‘ Clout today reveals Taubenberger’s new campaign literature, which features a photo of Al Taubenberger looking like he just got out of bed to do some landscaping (one of his previous jobs) and the catchy slogan, “My name is Al.”

He also uses his daughter, Sarah, in the lit. She just graduated from Central — what, Hubert’s was too good for her? — which means there is going to be a magnet school smackdown by the time election day rolls around. (Olivia Nutter goes to Masterman. Did Larry West go to GAMP or CAPA?)

Anyway, kudos to Al for avoiding the “You can call me Al” slogan, if only because it lowers the chances we will have to hear that god-awful song during the campaign.

His media advisor, Elliott Curson, says there probably won’t be any TV ads and that “[w]e’ll be doing stuff and we’re gonna have fun. I want people to say he’d be a decent mayor even if they don’t vote for him.” Whoo! This is the friendliest mayor’s race ever.

Clout | So let’s give a warm Philly welcome to Al [Daily News]
May 24: Mayor Al Dabbling In Poetry

It’s Nice To See Campaigns Focusing On The Issues

Above are Republican mayoral nominee Al Taubenberger and Democratic mayoral nominee Michael Nutter, judging a sandwich competition at the Bellevue today. Not pictured: Two lovely Phillies ballgirls and the even lovelier Dorothy Robinson from Metro. All the stars were out!

Bob Casey Takes Strong Anti-Wii Stance

The Daily News‘ Gar Joseph today asks all the local politicians if they’re going to purchase an iPhone. It seems that even the city’s rich guys aren’t going to throw away $600 and $50 a month to be a beta tester for Apple. (Republican mayoral candidate Al Taubenberger did recently purchase a blackberry because “Mayor Street told [him] to.” Hee hee!)

But Bob Casey’s spokesman’s response is strangest of all:

U.S. Sen. Bob Casey. Casey has a BlackBerry, but no plans for an iPhone. Spokesman Larry Smar calls Casey “technological in a business sense,” adding, “I don’t expect him to buy a Nintendo Wii or anything like that.”

Bobby, are you kidding me? You gotta try Wario Ware. I don’t know if I can be confident in a politician who doesn’t want to use a his controller to shoot zombies and strangle gangsters, as well as defeat Gannon once again. Don’t forget, Casey’s home state does include Princess Zelda’s hometown, the mythical land of Hyrule.

Clout | Hot off the wire: The iMayor dials alone [Daily News]

The Friendly Mayor’s Race

We all know how it really works: Michael Nutter won the mayor’s race on May 15. The democrat has no chance of being beaten by Al Taubenberger (or, for that matter, ineligible candidate Larry West), unless pictures of Nutter with a dromedary that is not his wife surface.

But, of course, we citizens are supposed to pretend that’s not the case, because it’s nice to keep up the democracy facade, even though only 100,000 people voted for Nutter. (But whatever. The press wanted Nutter to win anyway, right?) But the good thing about the continuation of the mayor’s race is that it’s going to be the friendliest mayor’s race in history. Both Nutter and Taubenberger don’t want to attack each other at all.

“I wanted to set the tone of the campaign and make sure it was a positive one,” Taubenberger said. Besides pledging to trade oatmeal recipes, he said, “We exchanged phone numbers so we can get a hold of each other very, very quickly” if need be.

I believe these two are going to make the city a happier place to live in. Soon, drug dealers and police will be exchanging oatmeal recipies, and homeless will be breaking bread with Rittenhouse Square residents.

Michael Nutter, reluctant celebrity [Inquirer]

Mayor Al Dabbling In Poetry

Republican mayoral nominee Al Taubenberger has updated his website, and it appears he’s attemping to capture the public’s votes using some type of experimental poetry.

Keep it up, Al! You can call it a neo-sonnet and campaign on better funding for the written arts in public schools.

MayorAl 2007

Mr. T To Face Mix Master Mike In Primary

As you may have heard, there was some sort of election last night. And in the Republican mayoral primary, mayoral hopeful Al Taubenberger easily defeated his many, many challengers and will move on to face the Democratic nominee in the November election.

Taubenberger, who the Inquirer notes has an answering machine in Fox Chase as his campaign headquarters, is running an uphill battle, as the Taubenberger is one of only 115 Republicans in the city, and like half of those are pro-lifers who are happy to vote for Democratic candidates for mayor.

Meanwhile, in the other primary, the smart guy outsmarted everybody, which is apparently shocking.

For GOP, an uphill battle begins [Inquirer]
A pugilist’s sensibilities score a KO [Inquirer]