People Vaguely Connected To Other People Make Statements 3rd Set Of People Find Offensive

Check this out: A Hillary Clinton supporter who was making calls for her at a phone bank just walked up to a Los Angeles Times reporter and said this:

“I’m supporting Hillary because I love the Lord and I don’t want a person named Al-Barack Hussein Obama to be our next president,” he said.

Meanwhile, Barack Obama is being criticized not only over being Irish, but also for having some pastor who hates America.

“The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing ‘God Bless America.’ No, no, no, God damn America, that’s in the Bible for killing innocent people,” [Rev. Jeremiah A.] Wright said in a 2003 sermon that was reported late last week by ABC News.

How dare Al-Barack Hussein Obama listen to that man with his message of tolerance and love and fewer prisons! Do you know how much prisons drive the economies of many rural areas? Fortunately, once President Barry eliminates poverty we won’t have these problems anymore.

Obama To Visit Pa. Tomorrow, Too

Hey, Barack Obama isn’t letting Scranton’s own Hillary Clinton get all the local attention here tomorrow. Obama’s gonna be in town, too!

Clinton takes the stage at night at Temple, but Obama will be at the old steel plant in Fairless Hills tomorrow. He’ll be touring Gamesa Wind Turbines, which probably makes wind turbines. Then he’s going to get on a diving board and cannonball right into the nearby GROWS landfill.

Dept. of How Do We Cover This?: Barack Obama to be in Bucks County on Tuesday [Philly EDGE]

Obama Exploiting Hopeful Poor For Change

Barack Hussein Obama has the charm, the looks, the delegate lead. But things aren’t all blow and weed for the presidential front-runner: His name sorta makes him sound like he could be a terrorist (as first reported in Metro in 2006), he has a friend who’s on trial in Chicago for throwing puppies and both Satan and Osama bin Laden have offered their support.

Still, things are pretty good: In February Obama raised $55 million, roughly the equivalent of eleven Ron Paul Liberty Dollar money bombs. So with a cool 55 mil in the bank just from last month, why is Obama charging the hopeful poor for campaign signs? Clark DeLeon writes on his blog:

I stood next to a young woman offering herself as a volunteer at the reception desk at Obama’s Philadelphia headquarters on the fourth floor of former bank building a 15th and Sansom Sts. in Center City. She asked for a Barack Obama poster to put in her front yard in Powelton Village. She was told that such a sign would cost her five dollars. And she paid.

“I felt guilty,” she said later, noting that when she worked as a volunteer for Chaka Fattah during his run for mayor of Philadelphia no one ever charged her for campaign posters. She didn’t have to add that she also felt stupid and vaguely insulted. Five dollars for a campaign poster? This is change? Earlier that same week a middle aged city employee and District Council 47 union activist used her lunch hour to stop by Obama’s newly opened Sansom Street headquarters (right above PW!—dmac) to ask for an Obama for President sign to put in her South Philly rowhouse window. She was treated like a bag lady trying to get over on Ebay. “You people come in here expecting free material,” said a shockingly unpleasant man.

Barack Obama clearly is coming up with a backup plan here: If he doesn’t win the presidency, at least he’ll have all the money in the country. Clearly, this is a good plan.

What’s up wid dat? [The Daily DeLeon]

Hillary Clinton Grew Up Everywhere

On Saturday, the Inquirer wrote about Hillary Clinton’s girlhood home, which is in “Lake Winola, Pennsylvania” and is where she spent her summers as a child. (She’s from suburban Chicago.)

Okay, so not really her girlhood home, but the Rodham family still owns the property, so fair enough. And, hey, the Inky’s Larry King also told us we’d be hearing more about it. And, hey, here it is already!

Hillary Clinton begins a two-day barnstorming blitz of Pennsylvania with a campaign rally tonight in Scranton. Clinton is scheduled to appear at 6 p.m. at Scranton High School, less than a mile from her childhood home.

Clinton will be in Philadelphia tomorrow, speaking at a rally at Temple — a school where, in her girlhood, Clinton led the basketball team to the 1956 Final Four.

Hillary Clinton in PA today, Phila. Tuesday [Inquirer]
Sen. Hillary Clinton’s girlhood home (sort of) [Inquirer]

Hillary Finally Wins A Primary State

Well! It appears Barack Obama’s fat line of hope and change was cut with too much baking soda. Yesterday, Hillary Clinton won Texas and Ohio, ending her 44-state losing streak and somehow putting her right back in the race.

Barack Obama still leads the delegate count, but now Clinton is going to win the nomination and Obama is going to end up voting for 100 More Wars McCain. (He clinched up the GOP nomination nom yesterday.)

On the democratic side, though, everyone’s still going to fight on, even Mike Gravel! (Gravel is now campaigning on his plan to make all laws be done by national vote. This would mean public school teachers would teach creationism and the incorrect solution to the Monty Hall problem while all gay people are in jail.)

Anyway, since Clinton, Obama and Gravel remain in the race, that means only six weeks to Pennsylvania! Oh, boy, I cannot wait ’til the television ads start and Michael Nutter is called the worst person ever for being a black dude supporting Hillary. Oh wait! I’m sure that second one has already happened.

In more important “winning” news, the Phillies have won the Braves’ respect.

Will Pennsylvania’s Primary Matter?

Today, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton will square off in four states. Ohio, Texas and two pointless states vote today, holding some number of delegates. While many observers expected Pennsylvania’s primary to be the battleground on April 22, the election could end today somehow as well. I don’t really know how these things work.

Anyway, the Inquirer reports today on how women are having a problem deciding between Clinton and Obama and Mike Gravel. Apparently these women are having so many hysterical pregnancies they just want the voters of Texas and Ohio to decide for them today who should win the presidency.

The Daily News counters, of course, with how black people are deciding between Obama and Clinton; this one’s about black delegates who supported Clinton early but now are being yelled at to support Obama.

Jerry Mondesire says “the pressure is enormous” to support the Hawaiian ex-cokehead — he supports Clinton and whines that “it’s almost like you’re a traitor to the black cause in many camps if you don’t wave the Obama flag. It’s on black radio, in churches, on the street.” You may remember Jerry Mondesire from telling Donovan McNabb he was a traitor to his race because he matured as a quarterback, threw more and improved his completion percentage.

WALNUTS! McCain, who’s going to keep us in Iraq for 300 years and start 40 more wars, is expected to wrap up the Republican nomination today.

Black Clinton delegates face a dilemma [Daily News]
Clinton or Obama? Women struggle [Inquirer]

Socialist Workers Party Running A Candidate Just As Eligible As John McCain

The New York Times big scoop today is, basically, something that’s been floating around on stupid Internet messageboards for a while now. (The NYT — and others — for some reason think the Internet is real life, and so Matt Drudge and McCain_SuX_6969 get to influence the media.) Anyway, apparently John McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone, which makes him ineligible to be president.

As you know, I’m a bit interested in ineligible candidates (aka “criminals”); I paid a bit of attention to Larry West’s ultimately doomed campaign for mayor. And, as such, it’s nice to know I’ll be able to joke about another (Walnuts!) one in the presidential.

But that doesn’t mean he’s the only ineligible candidate! In addition to McCain, the presidential race also has Socialist Workers Party candidate Róger Calero. The SWP candidate visited Temple recently, and PW’s über-talented Cassidy Hartmann talked with him for her MTV political thing.

Calero was born in Nicaragua, though. While the U.S. had invaded and taken the Panama Canal Zone at the time of McCain’s birth (1786), by Calero’s time Uncle Sam was content simply to destabilize these countries in more clandestine ways. And while he is of age to run for president, the Constitution forbids him from actually being elected. He can still get on some states’ ballots, though (but not Pennsylvania, where it is impossible).

One might think Calero could at least have an army of hilarious online followers, but dedication to the Socialist cause is a little lacking these days. (The illegal presidential candidate summed up Temple the way you could sum up pretty much every school: “Temple is generally a liberal school, but not that liberal in the sense of revolutionary politics.”)

But with smaller numbers, it appears the supporters of our fair Socialist candidate are a bit more realistic than fans of a certain other candidate with socialist supporters. Gordon Barnes (at left in photo) brought Calero to Temple, and here’s what he said: “We realize Róger’s not going to win.” Now if only Ron Paul’s supporters could get that. Or, for that matter, John McCain’s.

The Candidate for Change? It’s All Relative. [Think MTV]

Clinton Supporter STABS Obama Backer!

The Daily News reports today that — this was Will Bunch’s final prediction, I believe — political elites in Philadelphia are being courted by various Clinton and Obama supporters.

It’s fitting, then, that political have-nots are also debating whether to vote for Clinton or Obama. (Here’s a t-shirt of the attached image.) While the political elites woo favor with promised and money and puppydogs, the plebs have to use a more brute force approach. In Montgomery County, two brothers argued about Clinton and Obama ’til the Clinton supporter stabbed the Obama supporter. (The Obama supporter, Sean Shurelds, was allegedly choking the Clinton supporter first.)

Hillary’s camp is sure getting desperate. Obama looks like a shoo-in for the Democratic nomination anyway, and it’s not like 28-year-old Jose Ortiz (the alleged stabber) would be able to help Clinton’s cause anyway. KYW 1060 reports he’s a registered Republican. The knife the Clinton supporter stabbed the Obama dude with was found in the dishwasher, which is probably some sort of sexist commentary on a woman’s place in society.

Larry Kane Throwing Names Out There

Larry Kane’s blog continues to impress and entertain, especially when he’s being hated by commenters. (See also.)

He’s bashed in the comments today on another recent post, but maybe it’s because he says he likes Joe Lieberman — who likes Joe Lieberman politically? — and for some reason he thinks pretty much every Democrat has a shot at the VP spot:

Lieberman stands for what is right about America. He has conviction, is not a flip flopper, and he has courage…. I don’t think McCain would tap him for VP, but if he did, Joltin Joe would be the first person to run for that position for both parties. [...] Local Names That Might Be On Everyone’s Short List For VEEP: Joe Biden, Ed Rendell, Jon Corzine. For the GOP - Tom Ridge.

Yes, and Rudy Guiliani might still take that Republican nomination; I bet he’ll select Ron Paul as his running mate.

Joe Lieberman and the Gut Factor and Some Other Political Notes [Larry Kane]

Rendell And The Racists Push Clinton Ahead

Quinnipac University recently released a poll of “likely democratic voters” in Pennsylvania taken from Feb. 6 - 12 and Hillary Clinton is way, way ahead. She’s up 52-36 against Barry Obama in the state, and — bucking a national trend — beats McCain (46-40) easier than Obama (42-41) does.

Yes, it’s still a way to the election, and Bill Clinton could dress up in blackface (or whatever he did in South Carolina) again and make everyone hate his wife and vote for Obama. Hillary’s been leading the polls in Pennsylvania since early 2007, hence her role as the frontrunner early on.

Anyway, Rendell’s “some white people won’t vote for a black man” comments were published on Feb. 10 (I believe), so youse should all be able to blame him for Hillary’s lead.

Update: The Inquirer editorial board makes a funny! “Ed Rendell had better stick to Eagles games whenever he feels the urge to be a color analyst.”