Ken Smukler Takes On Knox With Meta Radio Spot

The ad Tom Knox got banned from TV last week is back, baby! Only this time it’s on the radio and features a weird meta-discussion of Tom Knox threatening to sue TV stations who aired the ad as well as an extended discussion of the term “credit heroin.”

It’s titled, apparently, “Jaws II.”

So, ah, ha. I love the fadeout at the end. And, hey, see, Tom Knox isn’t a drug dealer! I do think the “loan shark” thing is starting to get a little overplayed, though. Aren’t there any other animals these anti-Knox guys can anthropomorphize and compare Knox too? Maybe a tiger who eats the arms off the poor or something?

If you don’t have audio the transcript/release is after the jump.

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Tom Knox Really Racking Up The Endorsements

Who’s endorsing whom? [The Next Mayor]

Barack Obama Goes All Out (Well, Sends An Email He May Have Written) For Chaka Fattah

Barack Obama and Chaka Fattah are allies in the Joint Commission of Fellas With Unusual Names. And, as such, today Barry Hussein Obama sent out a letter in support of the mayoral candidate:

Dear Friend,

In eight short days, you have the chance to put my friend, Chaka Fattah, on the path to becoming Philadelphia’s next Mayor.

But to make it happen, Chaka needs your financial support - today. Please click here to send your contribution of $500, $100, $50, or $25 right away, so Chaka can get his message to voters in this crucial final week before the May 15th election.

All his life, Chaka has been a true champion for Philadelphia’s neighborhoods.

When blood stained the streets of his community in the 1960s and 1970s, Chaka shared his home with neighborhood teens that his family had convinced to reject gangs and turn around their lives.

In 25 years of public service on the local and national levels, Chaka has never forgotten his early life lesson: the key to breaking the grip of violence in our most hard-pressed communities is to replace desperation with hope.

That last section is bolded in the letter, too, as Barack Obama attempts to confuse people into thinking Fattah wrote The Audacity of Hope, and therefore voting for him. (Fattah, not Obama.)

Full letter after the jump.

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Sharks Vunerable To Excessive Heat

Since the infamous Tommy the Loan Shark-turned-Frank Keel press conference, there hasn’t been much of Tommy seen around the city.

Where has he been? Was Frank Keel really correct, and he’s a Pagan motorcycle gang member from South Jersey? Did he die? Did Tom Knox capture him?

Gar Joseph has all the answers.

The Shark does not speak, but his bullhorn-equipped sidekick, Jim Nixon, does. Nixon denied Keel’s accusations and called him a thug for John Dougherty, head of Local 98 of the electricians union, who’s leaning toward Knox.

Nixon claims to be a humble grad student who dogs Knox on his own, for free.

Keel is pretty scary, but we don’t think he’d scare a shark. So we called Nixon. Tommy the Loan Shark hasn’t been around “because he’s been busy with final exams,” Nixon said.

Hmm. Maybe the Pagan motorcycle gang takes classes at CCP or something. But there’s another reason, too. Nixon says it’s gotten hot enough that wearing the shark costume is pretty much impossible for whoever’s inside it. So there you have it: Tommy the Loan Shark is nowhere near as tough as the Phillie Phanatic.

Also in his article, Joseph writes about how John Street encouraged people to commit fraud, but whatever.

A shark or a minnow? [Daily News, 3rd item]

Jannie Blackwell’s Mother Cried, Too

Jannie Blackwell and Tom Knox officially formed their alliance yesterday, launching plans from the Hall of Justice to fight Lex Luthor, The Riddler and the lesser-known Gorilla Grodd.

Actually, they announced their partnership and mutual support at the Lucien E. Blackwell Homes, named after Jannie’s late husband.

Why are the two partners? Tom says his ticket is comprised of people who want to end “pay-to-play” in City Hall, but there’s another reason, too.

Blackwell conceded they lack a long-term relationship, though both grew up in public housing. “In fact that’s what makes it the better,” she said of their new political alliance. [...]

Asked whether theirs was a marriage of convenience in order to help Knox get African-American votes and Blackwell attain the Council presidency, Knox said: “That’s not true. I have more black votes than two of the black candidates combined.”

Blackwell responded: “Convenience is OK. It’s all right. Any way it comes is all right. My people will support Tom Knox.”

Irony is dead.

As such, any possibly successful idea is picked up on by the other candidates, and Dwight Evans announced the Public Housing Authority’s endorsement of him at Abbotsford Homes — where Tom Knox grew up.

Knox, Blackwell form an alliance [Inquirer]
Oh, snap! [The Next Mayor Blog]
Tuesday: Knox Dreams Of Jeannie

Philadelphia To Be One Giant Rave

Yesterday, the Northeast Times endorsed Michael Nutter, certainly furthering Young Philly Politics’ members fears of media cabal forcing all the newspapers in the city to endorse Nutter. (This happened. And, at our last monthly media cabal meeting, I won the breaststroke through the vault of gold doubloons.)

Oh, man! The City Paper endorsed him, too! Mike Nutter fever: CATCH IT! (They also cut out the candidates heads and made a PDF summarizing their stances and such. Bastards! I was going to do that, but make stupid jokes. Eh, their thing seems to be serious — and, I can admit it, good — so I suppose I can still do it as long as mine’s stupid and features Milton Street. The CP’s cover also features Mike Nutter holding a printout of the cover. Whoa, meta.)

The Northeast Times‘ endorsement even warranted a Michael Nutter press release. (And, yes, Nutter’s press release — speaking of things I can admit are good, The Next Mayor’s press release archive — about the paper’s endorsement noted it was the largest weekly paper in Philadelphia and perhaps in all of Pennsylvania. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.)

The endorsement, which did mention Queena Bass and Jesus White, did speak of the other candidates’ strengths. Bob Brady got this ringing endorsement:

U.S. Rep. Bob Brady seems to genuinely care about the chokehold that crime has on Philadelphia’s citizens and streets. Mr. Brady, the beefy and very personable dealmaker, has a knack for bringing people together and mediating labor disputes — he would make a terrific secretary of state or master of ceremonies at the carpenters union’s annual awards banquet.

Ahh, yes. Bob Brady, a candidate who would like to reduce crime, would make a fine M.C. With Brady on the mic and Mix Master Mike on the turntables, this city can be one huge party ’til, like, 5 a.m.

Nutter is the best choice [Northeast Times]
Michael Nutter for Mayor [CP]
New Poll has Nutter Moving [Young Philly Politics]
Archives: Bob Brady
Archives: Michael Nutter

Tom Knox To End Tradition Democratic Politics In This City By Endorsing, Uh, Sharif Street

Tom Knox, the candidate who’s positioned himself as an outsider, as a guy who’s going to end the no-bid contracts, the insider deals, reform the democratic machine and make his mother proud has corraled his team who he wants on City Council.

It includes three current councilpeople — one who is responsible for the bill which would require tour guides to be licensed, another who had is responsible for the the bill boycotting Don Imus, and another who is Jannie Fucking Blackwell — as well as a plagiarist, the son of a former mayor and, of course, the son of the current mayor.

The release, from yesterday:

PHILADELPHIA – [Today], Democratic mayoral candidate Tom Knox will announce his recommended ballot for Philadelphia City Council. All candidates supported by Knox are committed to putting an end to pay-to-play politics in Philadelphia.

Invited to attend: Councilwoman Jannie Blackwell, Councilman Juan Ramos, Councilwoman Blondell Reynolds Brown, Vern Anastasio, Cindy Bass, Bill Green, Cecil Hankins, Matt McClure, Matt Ruben, Sharif Street

Indeed! I can’t wait for Mayor Sharif Street in 2014.

The Tommy-Jannie ticket [The Next Mayor Blog]

Michael Nutter Destroys City Hall In Monty Pythonesque Fashion, Prevents Hurricane Schwartz From Securing No-Bid Contract

I really can’t say how much I love this ad. Not only does it have Philly’s inspector general personally creeping up on corrupt employees in the middle of the night, it also reveals no-bid contracts are apparently given out in shady elevator deals. Oh, and, yes, it features the destruction of City Hall by either God or a giant, leading to the deaths of lots of people who apparently work in the building’s tower for some reason.

Oh, and it does pack a lot of information into 30 seconds, but whatever, who cares about that.

More awesome ads after the jump.

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Knox Dreams Of Jeannie

Tom Knox grew up in public housing, worked odd jobs, and… okay, you know the deal. But you don’t go from public housing to the boardrooms without knowing how to make deals — although Tom Knox’s detractors say his people skills are bad — and Knox is apparently close to striking a deal that could help him capture the mayor’s office later this month.

Yes, Knox is pondering an alliance with Jannie Blackwell. For Knox, the partnership could bring Blackwell’s street team — wow, mayoral politics are like Y100! — or whatever. For Blackwell, Knox could support her bid for City Council president. And OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT????

GAAAAAH! Are people going to buy this paper? I picked it up at the newsstand today and I felt dirty. It’s, by far, the creepiest Daily News cover ever. If you look, Knox’s neck looks ridiculously creepy, Jannie Blackwell appears to have her head recently attached — though I guess it’s a chain instead — and Knox’s expression…. GAH! GAH! My eyes, it burns, it burns!

Knox & Blackwell ponder alliance [Daily News]

Bob Brady’s Website Is A Treasure Trove

For a while, the Bob Brady website was pretty barren. It didn’t even have that fancy soul tune on Chaka Fattah’s site. But as we inch closer to election day, his website’s photo section is becoming ridiculously awesome.

The photo at right is one with his wife, Debra. Yes, that’s Brady’s wife. (It’s his second.) And, yes, if you didn’t know, she used to be an Eagles cheerleader. I don’t know why the campaign doesn’t tout that. “Bob Brady: The only candidate married to an ex-Eagles cheerleader!” I bet it’d play well in the Northeast.

There’s also this photo of him and State Sen. Mike Stack where they appear to have been photographed in front of a green screen and inserted in front of a blurry background. (Obviously, why would anyone do that, but it’s still awesome.) Here’s another one. Somebody just blew out the background with Photoshop, I guess?

Then there’s a photo of Brady handing out pretzels at Franklin Mills. And another of him on 610 WIP. And the aforementioned one of him holding pretzels that say “Bob Brady.” In case you’re wondering, yes, this photo is taped on the front window of the Democratic City Committee.

But the photo on the front of the website proves that Brady even has the Internet meme vote covered.

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