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Fox News Declares Rendell Reverse Oreo

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Via Philebrity, who’s doing some fun liveblogging of his own tonight, Fox News thinks Ed Rendell is.. uh… yeah:

Gov. Edward Rendell — one of only three black candidates running for governor — won the gubernatorial race in Pennsylvania, according to FOX News projections.

Well, he can dance, right?

Liveblog: Election ‘06 Results and Drinking [Philebrity]
2006 Elections [Fox News]

EXCLUSIVE: Election Results!

Well, it’s after 8 p.m., so the polls are now closed. And, duh, I just realized: I’m a journalist! Kind of!

Which means I’m totally allowed to do this:

Philadelphia Will Do declares:

  • Bob Casey wins the Senate with whatever percentage of the electorate reporting
  • Ed Rendell is re-elected by like 4500 cheesesteaks

And the chain of Philadelphia bloggers making “EXCLUSIVE” jokes continues. Hurrah, hurrah.

Recommended: The Inquirer has one of the cooler automatically-updated charts allowing you to follow the results as they come in. (Neat!) They really did a nice job with this one.

Adwatch: Death Of A Governor?!

PWD's Adwatch

Ah, yes, we move into the exciting third day of Adwatch. So far we’ve done ads attacking Lois Murphy (by the Republican National Congressional Committee) and Rick Santorum (by a pro-Little League Bob Casey), and today we’ll all take a look at one of Lynn Swann’s latest ads.

Despite his pedigree as a football player and a football sideline reporter, it appears Swann isn’t going to take the Pennsylvania election this year. Ed Rendell is leading by, uh, lots and lots of points in the polls, and Swann will end up doing TV analysis of Steelers games or something come late November. That hasn’t stopped him from continuing to take to the airwaves, however. After the jump, his Rendell attack ad.

More »

Lynn Swann Could Kick Your Ass At Beer Pong

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Thank Pittsburgh sports blog Mondesi’s House for the following photo and anecdote (partially reprinted below), concerning gubernatorial candidate Lynn Swann, received from a reader. It happened at the Steelers-Eagles preseason game on Aug. 25:

While tailgating in Philly for the Steelers vs. Eagles preseason game we hear that Lynn Swann will be making his rounds to visit the Steeler fans… He gets to me and shakes my hand and I say, “I was wondering if you could do me a favor” as I hold up the ping pong ball. “Could you take one shot for us before you move on?” [...]

He makes a few arm motions warming up a bit, eyes the red cup at the other end of the table filled slightly with IC Light, takes a breath and let’s it fly. The crowd that surrounded the table was at least 30 deep by now with Steeler fans cheering for him like he was back on the field again. Cameras flashing, video camera’s rolling, his bodyguards and marketing team thinking about the damage this might do to his campaign and then… SPLASH DOWN….

Can Swann and Rendell have one more debate? Except, instead of a debate, it’d be a game of beer pong? That would be totally awesome.

Future Governor Lynn Swann Plays Beer Pong [Mondesi's House]

Leftovers: Sen. NJ Weedman

• According to a Myspace bulletin, NJ Weedman is holding a raffle “for all potheads” to support his Senate campaign. Hey, you can’t blame a guy for trying. And, really, could he be any worse than any Republicans or Democrats? [NJWeedman.com]

• The man who attacked an Amish school and killed three young girls and himself has been identified as Charles Carl Roberts IV. Police said an incident 20 years earlier may have led to the shootings. Yeah, ‘cuz those Amish are always real assholes. [Inquirer]

• Friday night, Susanna Foo punched a meter maid and was arrested. Ho ho, everyone said, until today, when the Inquirer reported that said officer had a miscarriage. Whoops. [Inky]

• Lynn Swann held a town hall meeting in Buxco yesterday. And who attended? “Billed as a town hall-style meeting, Sunday’s event featured a speech to about 100 area residents — most of whom wore ‘Swann/Matthews’ stickers. He also answered about a half-dozen questions from the audience.” Oh, so it’s a “town hall-style meeting.” Nevermind, then. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• And, of course: Go Eagles! Deadspin weekend editor MJD will be blogging it over at AOL and there’s an an enormous screen to watch it on at the Troc. Or you can watch it on your little 13-inch TV set and still cheer on the Birds all night.

• Finally: It’s gorgeous out. Go outside. Not. Eff work. [Weather Underground]

Send In The Clowns To Campaign Against Lynn Swann

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It appears that Lynn Swann has made a bit of a tactical error in who he messes with (via Wook):

The Republican gubernatorial candidate was making the rounds at the Allentown Fair last week when he decided to take on a clown sitting above the dunk tank.

After watching Swann toss several balls at the target and miss, the clown yelled: “I hope you do better at the polls, buddy,” according to an account in the Morning Call of Allentown.

Swann had started to walk away when he suddenly turned back, picked up more balls, and began hurling them at the target.

When he finally hit the bull’s-eye and the clown plunged into the water, Swann stuck his fists in the air, triumphant.

Typical neophyte politician. You lose the clowns, you lose the proletariat. Although I guess that’s not who Swann was expecting to vote for him, anyway.

Swann puts clown in his place [Inky, 2nd item]
The Tipping Point [Wookified]

The Most Popular Boy In Class Wants Your Vote

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Lynn Swann addressed the Republican Jewish Coalition on Wednesday evening, and asked for the votes of those in attendance thusly:

Formerly a football player for the Pittsburgh Steelers and a sports broadcaster for ABC, Swann isn’t discouraged by his lack of political experience. He mentioned other successful politicians, such as Ronald Regan and Arnold Schwarzenegger, with non-political backgrounds who “stepped up to the plate in the time of need.”

“I want you to know I do have some [political] experience,” Swann joked, “In the eighth grade I was elected president of my junior high school. So you see, I’ve already been president, and now I just want to be governor.”

New Swann tactic! If you’re a former football star running for office, compare the election to those that football stars usually win if they enter. Eh, that’s not quite so bad of a plan.

Swann Spouts Need For ‘Common Sense’ In Latest Campaign Stop [The Evening Bulletin]

Conservative Pollsters: Pennsylvanians Favor Casey & Rendell (And Are Terrified Of Bush and, Uh, Terror)

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A release came over from Strategic Vision, an Atlanta-based PR firm, touring their three-day poll of 1200 likely voters in Pennsylvania. The CEO of Strategic Vision is David E. Johnson, who touts himself on his website as a “Republican conservative” — uhh, and he has a “Re-Elect Bush/Cheney” banner on his woefully outdated website — which means it’s a pretty safe bet that Strategic Vision’s polls lean slightly to the right. (Especially since all the Johnson quotes in the press release are pro-Republican.)

The new Pennsylvania polls don’t really tell us anything all that new: Casey is 10 points ahead (50-40) and Rendell 13 points ahead (59-36). That puts Santorum much closer — but it’s still a comfortable lead — but, considering the source, yadda yadda yadda. You get how these things work.

But, since it’s a de facto Republican polling agency, you would think they’d be able to do a little better for their guy than a 26 percent approval rating. (Last month, a Quinnipac University poll put Bush at 34 percent approval rating.) This is, probably, lower than the percentage of Phillies fans who thought the team handled the Brett situation well. And 70 percent of Pennsylvanians polled expect a terrorist attack by the end of the year.

To summarize: A polling group whose CEO is a big Republican backer released a poll where, in Pennsylvania, Casey and Rendell are way ahead, President Bush only has a 26 percent approval rating and 70 percent expect a terrorist attack in the United States between now and the end of the year.

Well. With those last two results, I think we’ll be seeing an exodus to Vanatu any day now.

Pennsylvania Poll - July [Strategic Vision]
Press Release Regarding Poll [.pdf download]
Putting a Number on Happiness [WSJ]

Vote For Lynn Swann, The Pretty Candidate

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Let’s delve into John Baer’s Daily News column about how Lynn Swann is taking it to the streets of every part of Pennsylvania in hopes of winning the governorship.

Baer’s column makes sure to point out all the wackiness that always seems to happen when a political candidate steps into any sort of uncontrolled situation. Unfortunately, Baer doesn’t report on any wackiness in Bucks County, but there are several choice moments chronicled when Swann steps out around 52nd and Market (we can only assume he picked up a bootleg Phillies hat while he was out there):

A vocal local rants as the bus slides curbside on 52nd on a steamy weekday morning. He snarls, waves his arms. But Swann aides give him a pamphlet, a pin and a T-shirt, and he ends up leading cheers: “I’ll sucker-punch you if you don’t vote for Lynn Swann!”

Swann’s deputy campaign manager, Randy Robinson, beams: “It’s a T-shirt conversion! We’re going after them one T-shirt at a time.”

Folks stop to meet Swann, many happy to do so. He’s his dapper self in a loose-fitting, soft-collared sport shirt, well-tailored dress slacks. And he’s good at this. A woman outside the West Philly Y says, “At least we’d have a good-looking governor.”

This sounds about right, and Swann — like Ed Rendell, in many ways, actually — is incredibly polished and even when he doesn’t give you a straight answer you sometimes feel like he actually answered the question. (This is probably the best quality a politician can have.)

Not everyone in West Philly was happy with Swann’s stop on 52nd Street. Some people felt, well, he needed to take that shit back to Pittsburgh:

It’s not unanimous. A dour-faced young man mumbles, “Lynn Swann, eh? You need to take that s— back to Pittsburgh.” And Cecilia Elliot, a cashier and mother of three, questions politician visits during election seasons: “What they come here for now? Let me go up to my black brothers and sisters? He’s been black!”

Clearly, Ms. Eliot needs a Lynn Swann t-shirt.

John Baer | Swann on offense in Ed’s territory [Daily News]

Let’s Make This Headline As Scandalous As Possible: Lynn Swann Allegedly Attends Party With Pantyless Cocaine-Overdosed Hooker!

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Dan Gross today picks up the original report from longtime gossip columnist Janet Charlton’s website — the Internet is where old-time gossips go to pasture! — and runs with it. Charlton’s original report said a call girl had a cocaine overdose at a fundraiser in California for Lynn Swann.

It was blind, though, and that’s where Gross comes in. He reveals the owner of the house where the fundraiser took place was none other than Bradford M. Freeman! Wait, who? Who’s this guy other than another rich Republican? Wasn’t there a Harry Hairston sighting that could have led off the column instead?

Oh, right, the hooker who overdosed on cocaine with Lynn Swann in attendance. Oh, right, that’s it. Anyway, Gross calls up all the right parties and gets the standard (I guess) denials:

On Friday, Freeman told Lucey that his date was not a call girl and that she had a seizure, but it had not been drug-induced.

“That is the most irresponsible thing I’ve heard in my whole life,” he said. “She had a low sodium count and had a seizure.”

Charlton wrote that during the party, at Freeman’s home in the posh Brentwood neighborhood of Los Angeles, his date had been licking his ear at the table, and later had ended up underneath the table “kicking and screaming incoherently having some sort of convulsive drug induced fit.” 911 was called, the Web site said, and by the time paramedics arrived, the troubled woman, who was bruised and foaming at the mouth, had displayed her panty-less ballot box for her dinner companions.

Freeman said he “wasn’t searching for them,” when Lucey asked if his date had worn underwear.

“We have had some very successful fundraising trips to California, but we don’t comment on anything that happens at fund-raisers - in-state or out,” Melissa Walters, a spokeswoman for the Swann campaign told the People Paper’s Bob Warner on Friday.

Y’know what I find funny? Freeman sounds less angry than Joe Banner.

Dan Gross | GOP’er: No drugged hooker [Daily News]
STRUMPET RUNS AMOK [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
Earlier today (in fact, just below, if you’re on the main page): Eagles Prez To Fans: You’ll Pay Whatever The Hell We Want You To Pay, And You’ll Enjoy It