Rendell Is Going To Lose His Thumbs

Ed Rendell’s 20-point win in the election is good for him, but not so good for his wallet:

The governor admitted yesterday that in a moment of weakness in February, he made a bet with his 26-year-old son, Jesse, while they were at the Philadelphia International Auto Show. Jesse Rendell said his father would win the election with more than 60 percent of the vote. Gov. Rendell said no way.

In front of them was “this beautiful teal Aston Martin convertible,” Rendell said, so he took a gamble: if his son were right, he’d buy him the sleek British sports car.

Yesterday afternoon, with 99 percent of precincts reporting, the governor had 2,414,541 votes - or 60 percent. [...]

His wife, Midge - U.S. Third Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Marjorie O. Rendell - is currently negotiating a compromise.

Ohh, trying to get out of it, Ed? Well we’re the Swift Boat Gambling Veterans For Truth, and we want you to hold up the end of your bet! Ahem. Real governors don’t get their wives to negotiate a compromise.

Everyone Knows The Four-Eyed Duck Is Extinct

KYW 1060 has a little bit on the BBC, who had a team of people in Philadelphia covering the election.

John Ostapkovich speaks with the Beeb’s chief political correspondent, John Pienaar, who tells them of his one problem while covering our fair country’s political process:

Pienaar says, in sampling public opinion in Philadelphia, that one of the biggest chores was finding Republicans who, in his words, were as “rare as a hen with teeth or a four-eyed duck.”

You’re telling us, Johnny.

European Journalist Covers US Elections from Philadelphia [KYW 1060]

Kids Can’t Even Vote Without Massive Election Fraud

Aside from capturing wins in the regular election, Bob Casey and Ed Rendell also won the 2006 Kids Voting in Bucks County held in the Council Rock, Centennial and other school districts.

According to the Kids Voting organization, over 16,000 in Southeast Pennsylvania cast ballots, but, well… maybe more?

Kids Voting organizers were trying to determine, as of Wednesday afternoon, if the ballots counted were only those administered on Election Day, Bentrim said. It’s possible that thousands more were utilized during mock elections in area secondary schools just before Tuesday’s election, he said.

Ahh, it’s good to see Kids Voting is teaching our young children what they can look forward to in real election: Their vote possibly not counting. Or at least days and days of recounts.

Casey, Rendell score victories in Kids Voting [Bucks County Courier Times]

Leftovers: George And The Giant Impeach

• It begins! On Nov. 11, there’s going to be a rally for impeachment at the Constitution Center, along with speakers and a blogger panel. Oh, these next two years are going to be fun no matter what happens. [Suburban Guerilla]

• Both of Council Rock’s two high schools are closed today due to a threat. Dammit, this shit is so 1999. (As is that phase.) Seriously, kids, you need to stop. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• State Rep. Matt Wright, who got his opponent’s ads off the air by threatening to sue, lost to Chris King yesterday in his re-election bid for State House. Then again, he was the guy who wrote an column defending the pay raise, so perhaps it’s not all that surprising. [Doylestown Intelligencer]

• Best two headlines in a row award goes to Badminton Stamps, for “Tina Fey Slings That Crack Cocaine” followed by “Judd Hirsch Slings That Crack Cocaine.” Kudos, guys. [Badminton Stamps]

Electorate Will NOT Stand For Mistress-Choking

Let’s pour a 40 on the corner for U.S. Rep. Don Sherwood, who was comfortably ahead in the polls and looked to cruise to a fifth term until the family-values conservative’s ex-mistress accused him of choking her. He lost yesterday, as the tide of 200 different scandals — 190 of them or so centered on the Republican party — allowed opponent Chris Carney to pull the upset.

Of course, it didn’t hurt that Carney ran ads saying “This incident with Don Sherwood just cuts right at the core values of our district.” (Perhaps Sherwood can run for Congress in Vegas or something.) Sherwood responded by saying he was truly sorry for cheating on his wife with a woman 30 years his junior, but he didn’t smack a bitch.

The best part of this election? Look who’s gone: An alleged mistress choker, an alleged page diddler, a conspiracy theorist whose name rhymes with Bert Geldon, most of the Jack Abramoff-connected people, etc. It’s like we’re purging Congress of jerks! (And replacing them with more cunning jerks.)

Sex scandal costs GOP’s Sherwood [AP/Inquirer]

Chat™: From Sharif, With Love

It’s been a long time, but Election Day finally brought Teresa Masterson back out again:

pwddmac: first off: rumsfeld — gone.

anonymous reader: yes!
pwddmac: second off: teresa masterson, BACK.
reader: happy day!
pwddmac: she goes to the famous 4th street deli for the election to meet ed rendell, but fast eddie doesn’t show
pwddmac: i was going to go there, we could have had a meeting rivaled only by gorbachev and reagan!
pwddmac: or i could have been like, “Dr. Masterson, I presume?”
pwddmac: but that would have been weird. i don’t even know if teresa has a license to practice medicine
reader: i just got out of the most annoying meeting ever, and this drivel is on the verge of making my head explode
reader: seriously
reader: excited and eager!
reader: excited AND eager!
reader: wow
pwddmac: why use just one when “excited and eager” will do just fine?
reader: because you’re getting paid by the word, dickens-style?
pwddmac: if i were being paid by the word, i would have been “excited and eager and anxious and happy and nervous and hungry and gassy”
reader: she makes a good point about unions (”‘I believe in our union; whatever they feel is right, that’s the way we go,’ said Mike. Nothing like an uneducated voter trying to educate voters.”)
pwddmac: i agree, but i thought that was the good part about being in a union, you don’t have to think for yourself
pwddmac: that and $2 co-pays
reader: wait, i just finished. that’s it?
reader: seriously - i don’t need someone to re-tell the fourth street deli story
reader: lynne abraham got thousand island dressing on her blazer
reader: that’s the kind of stuff i want from teresa
pwddmac: oh, now now, look, we DO learn a lot: “The lunch tradition began 30 years ago when Philadelphia political boss Pete Camille started coming to the deli on Election Day to drink a glass of tea while holding a cube of sugar in his teeth for good luck.”
pwddmac: what a tradition!
pwddmac: i hope the next one starts when vince fumo goes to the new city public toilet and takes a big dump for good luck
reader: did you look at the photos?
reader: i like teresa’s snappy blue coat and her glasses
pwddmac: the glasses are top-notch. i’d like the coat more if it had a charlotte hornets logo on the back
reader: check photo 14: do you think sharif street is trying to pick teresa up?
pwddmac: YES!
reader: awk. ward.

Blog: The Governor Eats Chopped Liver [NBC 10]

He Has One Thing: Rick Santorum’s Family Is Cute-Ish

No, I’m not going to make fun of the little girl crying, hold your angry emails. What I would like to point out is:

• Although Rick Santorum homeschools his kids, he still dresses them like they’re in Catholic school. Nice.
• Rick Santorum’s daughter dresses her doll in the same outfit as her. No word on whether her doll attends Catholic school or not.
• Santorum has also apparently adopted Baby Fat Elijah Wood, who is trying to stare away the election results.
• Rick and his wife make a cute couple.

Man, don’t you just want to sit behind Rick and his family at church? It’d be so aww-worthy. As a senator from Pennsylvania, not so much.

Breaking: Poll Workers Are Idiots

Ahh, yes, this video was shooting across the conservative Internets yesterday as some sort of example of “Philadelphia voter intimidation.” To me it looks more like “poll watcher intimidation,” since I don’t quite see any voters being intimidated. In fact, to call it “voter intimidation” would be what we in the biz call “a lie.”

Highlight of the short, though:

• The cameraman saying, “Call the cops, I dare y–” before realizing how stupid that would sound.
• The look on the woman’s face when she says you’re not going to be getting in.
• The random dude at the end who after being denied entry goes, “The cops are right here, you fools!” (This is a DP kid, isn’t it?)
• Oh, and a tipster said that someone talking on this video is noted Penn online columnist Stephen Morse. (Behind the camera?) God, I love this city.

Ahh, Philadelphia. Congratulations, poll workers and poll watchers at “the scene at 6125 Market Street.” You’ve surely done your part for democracy by all being ridiculously annoying.

Update: Kid in the video is Stephen Morse. But of course.

Red-Faced [Blinq]

Late Night Wrap-Up

Yes, if you’re looking at the timestamps, your friendly neighborhood blogger was up until about 2:30 or 3 last night reporting on the election. You were probably nestled in bed, dreaming of sugarplums or possibly Lois Murphy.

As such, here are the highlights of my “coverage” last night:

Videos:

• Here’s the best one: South Philly grandmothers falling down the stairs at a polling place. Whatever, they weren’t hurt; you can laugh. (NBC 10)
• Chris Matthews and Joe Scarborough took time out of their election coverage to bitch each other out on live television. (MSNBC)
• Ricky’s very calm concession speech — not so surprising, but the fact that Curt Weldon’s was boring was a shocker — including his crying son. Alas, little boy, your father will now go make millions in the private sector, so I think he’ll be okay. (CN 8)
• And, of course, Keith Olberman misidentifying Joe Lieberman as “Lieberthal.” (MSNBC)

Other stuff:

• Most important: The Phillies are going after Alfonso Soriano. Sweet. Maybe.
• Fox News called Ed Rendell “one of only three black candidates running for governor.”
• Before officially lost, Ricky whined.
• Curt Weldon was labeled a communist.
• And, finally, Nevada says prostitution and throwing all your money down a little chute is okay; Mary Jane, not so much.

Soothing Your Election Hangover

To recap, quickly:

• Governor: Rendell
• Senate: PA: Casey; NJ: Menendez
• House: Brady, Fattah, Gerlach (51-49), Patrick Murphy (by, like, a vote or two), Schwartz
• Dems control U.S. House, Senate still to be decided
• Delaware Attorney General: Beau Biden’s Dangerous Diversion

Be back in a little bit with all the post-election day wrap-ups, analysis and making fun of Rick Santorum you need. And puppies. Probably gonna post some puppy photos, too.