There IS Something…

I’m alive! Don’t worry. Just been writing and researching things for the paper; it’s taking forever. But soon things will be back to normal here, and I’ll be writing about casinos, closed libraries, lottery ticket-selling groundhogs, etc. You know: Philadelphia.

Anyway, enjoy the ad posted above; since I came across it the other day (again, I think) it’s given me tons of entertainment. If you don’t know, Joe Morgan is a hall of fame second baseman who later became one of the worst analysts of all time. Pete Rose played 3,562 baseball games, each time passing a giant sign in the locker room that says the one thing you can’t do as a baseball player is bet on baseball. Naturally, he’s banned for life for betting on baseball.

If your work blocks YouTube (but for some reason not this site of journalistic excellency), here’s a quick recap: Rose slides into second and Joe Morgan says, “Hey, it’s Pete Rose of the Philadelphia Phillies.” He’s clearly unaware of (1) who the Reds are playing, (2) Pete Rose’s successful at-bat earlier in this inning, and (3) he and Pete were teammates in Cincinnati for most of their careers. In essence: Not paying attention in that particular inning, in that particular game and in that particular baseball career.

But that’s okay, because after losing his helmet sliding into second, Pete Rose stands up and puts on a baseball cap. Maybe that’s why he forgot that sign in the locker room and gambled on the game: Too many times hit in the head by line drives on the basepaths.

Then Pete Rose sings about some after shave or something, I dunno. Can we get Chase Utley and Jimmy Rollins to re-enact this?

Diphthong Dipping In Philadelphia

I’ve been watching this clip over and over and over again and trying to dip my diphthongs more and more, so if I ever see Batman he’ll know I’m from Philadelphia.

Also, apparently “New York City” equals “Gotham City” but “Philadelphia” equals “Philadelphia.”

Arlen Specter Has To Deal With This Shit Every Day

Who are the only people who will show up to a town hall meeting in York with Sen. Arlen Specter? Simple: Conspiracy theorists and jaded retirees. It must be some sort of cosmic retribution that Specter has to listen to 15 questions of this crap after a life in politics. Actually, I think this is what Arlen Specter’s hell would be like.

Yesterday, Specter fended a question from an old woman about the North American Union, which will apparently combine the U.S., Mexico and Canada and give us one currency, the amero. (Why wouldn’t they just call it the dollar? Weird.) Specter responds, though, with the kinds of tough answers a politician has to give to his constituents every day.

“It’s not gonna happen. We’re not gonna have a union with Mexico and Canada, we’re gonna stick with the good ol’ United States of America.”

I can’t imagine Specter wants to deal with another 6 years of this come 2010, but he is an old white man. Zombie Specter/Zombie Barbaro for president in 2016!