South St. Bridge Shuts Down Today

OMG! Over five years since a young D-Mac spent his summer getting drunk and taking photos of the South Street Bridge falling apart for the Summer Pennsylvanian, the South Street Bridge will finally close to traffic. (Follow that? Sorry that I ended up making it about myself. But, look, photos by me are still online! Neat.)

Anyway, yes, at around 9:30 this morning — after a ceremonial final walk/bike/jog/whatever across the bridge by losers — the bridge will close for two years and a $67 million demolition and reconstruction will follow. The entire South Street Bridge will be destroyed (above, you can see the raging rapids of bad Photoshop that will be now visible to the naked eye).

But not all is well with the construction! The Inquirer quotes streets commissioner Clarena Tolson: “Significant traffic congestion and travel delays are expected.” Deputy Mayor Rina Cutler tells KYW 1060: “We expect, other than special events that may occur at Penn, most people within the first week or two who will regularly drive the route will find an alternate way.” Deputy Mayor Rina Cutler is lying.

Yesterday, though, Inquirer classical music critic Peter Dobrin lamented the loss of the public canvas of the South Street Bridge and the political statements and goofy anarchist art and Bob Will Reign and El Toro stickers that lined it. And it’s thoughtful and smart and what the hell was it doing in the Inquirer? (Rimshot.)

Anyway: You have about an hour and a half to say goodbye to the South Street Bridge. If for some reason you really feel the need to do this. Then you have 2 years to bitch about traffic, then a few more years bitching about what the new design looks like. Ahh, I am excited.