Breaking: Woman Dates Older Man

Joel recently tipped me to this incredibly unremarkable story from The Daily Beast — remember them?¹ — about a Philadelphia college girl dating an old guy for money, power and related descriptions.

Oh man. Stop the presses! Read this, skip that! (That’s apparently The Beast’s slogan.) Anyway, the story is pretty normal except the pseudonymous author and her unnamed sugar daddy might as well have drawn up a contract on their first date the whole situation was so boring. It also contains awesome sentences like, “We went to Atlantic City for a weekend and stayed at the Borgata, the poshest hotel in town” and “How many other college students are wearing Christian Louboutins to class?”

But my favorite part is her first rule: “My stipulations were that I wanted to wait until I knew him better before we had sex[.]” You can pay me to be your girlfriend, but you are not getting in my panties for a few months. It’s nice to see some people still have principles.

¹ Note that story: Will the Bill Ayers link doom Obama? Great prediction.

A Perspective-Changing Event

Your lead of the day, courtesy of the Daily Pennsylvanian:

Meg Ryan closed her eyes, tilted her head back and moaned, “Oh god, oh god.” She appeared to be experiencing an orgasm - but unknown to most men, she was faking it.

Just think, men, how far we’ve come since 1989.

This article also contains the following sentence: “For example, masturbation does not cause deformities.” I kind of miss covering events that would allow me to write awesome leads and sentences like these.

Also: “‘It totally changed my perspective on the vagina,’ College freshman Mathew Lazarus said.”

Sex Educators Demystify Orgasms [DP]