I cannot believe
This is a weekly feature
I’m blaming Tierney
I am haiku champion!
Insta-contest!: Write your best Philly.com haiku feature haiku and win something from my desk. I’ll even give you a choice: A Frank TV clock, a Semi-Pro “We’re #4″ foam hand, a copy of the book Destiny at Your Fingertips: Discover the Inner Purpose of Your Life and What It Takes to Live It or a gallon paint can from Phillies Paint the Town Red Week in 2006. Winner will be chosen by me later today if I remember.
The hot dog gun at the Phillies game was off to an incredible start to the season. At a game I attended early in the season, the hot dogs were going up to the 400 level down the left field line. We were kind of worried in left field that the hot dog gun would be aimed in our direction and kill us with its power.
But what a second-half slump! By the end of the year, the HDG’s power was way down. Perhaps it needed hip surgery? We can only surmise. Above is a faux documentary from Hatfield about the hot dog gun at the Phillies game. What’s amazing about this video is it’s actually pretty funny in some spots. The level of detail, frankly, is worthy of a real documentary. [via; thanks Diccon]
Update: At the suggestion of a friend, I’ve added the tag “Hot Dogumentary.”
Uhm, guys, you changed the front page photo. Uhm, I guess that’s a little better. But if you’re going the pageviews over journalism route, just plaster her tits all over the front page and be done with it. Had we but world enough, and time, this coyness, Philly.com, were no crime. But this is 2008 and there are boobs all over the Internet.
Looks like Tierneycorp’s Philly.com is going to continue to run with that Jocelyn Kirsch story, even though she’s in prison now and nobody cares about the dude.
To make things even better? Well, it appears Philly.com believes Edward Whatever was just a poor pawn of Jocelyn Kirsch, powerless to her magical chest of incredible size. Oh, whatever, that sounds like something the Philly.com commenters could get behind.
Sometime during the baseball playoffs, Philly.com started running a little box at the top of the page with a couple links to slideshows. Media companies love slideshows, because they add a page view every time a reader clicks to see the latest hot athlete gallery. As we all know, pageviews are the only thing online media companies care about.
What’s really awesome about this particular slideshow is it’s just that: Local anchors. That’s all. And this caption kind of intrigues me: Is this, like, right after Kerri-Lee Halkett and Kirt Mayland got married?
But at least that photo is kind of interesting. Okay, well, it’s not, but whatever, pretend this is a universe without television, radio or alcohol. Some of the other photos are just the photo of Erin O’Hearn from 6 ABC’s website.
The second part of the little “Readers who read this article also read… and bought” box at the bottom of some Philly.com articles:
Whoo! I bet those readers are going to tape the final few episodes of this season of America’s Next Top Model, and they just needed to make sure they were on Sony Premium Grade VHS.
What kind of perverts are reading Philly.com? You know, maybe it’s just best not to know who buys disposable party cameras to take photos of them reading Billy Cunningham stories on their new rechargeable sheets.
Sometime during the baseball playoffs, Philly.com started running a little box at the top of the page with a couple links to slideshows. Media companies love slideshows, because they add a page view every time a reader clicks to see the latest 
