Mysterious Fake Inquirer Fronts

What would you expect to find in the photostream of a Flickr user named Romney 2012? Would you believe parody Philadephia Inquirer pages?!

And there are one and two and three. Number two has a headline saying Pat Burrell left for the money — which is so laughably the opposite of the situation I don’t know where to start — and number three has this awesome skybox above the flag:

The fonts and such are all dead on, but whatever Romney supporter is behind this is probably just editing a .pdf of the front page in Acrobat to change the headlines.

But that’s no fun, so let’s use this theory instead: It’s a disgruntled design employee who stays behind after work to make a parody front page, making sure to put at least one right-wing talking point in each issue. Ha ha, did you see that one page? Peter Griffin of Family Guy died!

Oh, man, this dude also has a photo of a rocket slide! We used to have one of those at Picariello Playground when I was little and it was awesome. Kids today don’t know what they’re missing.

Marley & Me Promotions Begin

Oh, boy, am I excited for the film version of Marley & Me. But what I am even more excited for is this thing at the Inquirer! From a memo sent to employees titled “FW: Marley Mania”:

Activites will include:

• The first 100 readers who come to the Inquirer with their dog will receive a pass for two to a special preview of Marley & Me.
• Join 92.5 XTU for great Marley giveaways & “Pooch Pictures With Santa”
• Enjoy a sampling of delicious hot chocolate & munchkins courtesy of Dunkin’ Donuts
• All will be eligible to win a “Marley” replica – straight from the film! Provided by Doggie Style, with locations in Center City & South Philadelphia
• Philadelphia SPCA Adoption Van On Site

What’s a “‘Marley’ replica”? (Are they going to be selling stuffed Marley puppies? Aww, so cute!) What, for that matter, are “great Marley giveaways”?

Unfortunately for employees over at 400 N. Broad, they can’t compete in the dog contest: “Unfortunately employees cannot bring their dogs to work so instead bring a picture of your dog to the public room between 11:30 – 1:30. We’ll post them outside and vote who has the cutest dog! Winners will receive a special doggy prize.”

‘Inquirer’ Just Short Of ‘Times’

Oh, we feel for Chris Krewson, the Inquirer’s online editor. For reasons like the above, from his Twitter. [via]

Inquirer’s ‘I’ Mag Launches Today

Ladies and gentlemen, rejoice! The one thing Philadelphia needs more than anything — another lifestyle magazine — is finally coming to town! And (even better) this one is owned by the Inquirer!

I magazine launches today, as the Philadelphia Business Journal reported last night:

But no matter. Now the real fun begins: What sections of the city will get the insert? Just Center City and the rest is out on the Main Line? Help me out here, kids, drop me a line if you do or don’t see I in the Inquirer at your newsstand. (I have to imagine the percentage of readers who get the Inky delivered is “my parents,” but you can tell me about that, too.)

Philly.com has celebrated the launch of I with a photo gallery, as is its wont.

Stupid Attention-Whoring Filmmakers Get Attention

Brian Tierney’s ongoing quest to make the Inquirer and Daily News more corporate than when Knight-Ridder owned them is right on schedule. The newest evidence is a DVD included in certain copies of the Inquirer on Sunday called Obsession - Radical Islam’s War Against the West.

It was actually in a host of other papers, including the Bucks County Courier Times. It’s common knowledge: Newspapers print any ad if you pay them enough money. But this ad has the added intrigue of offending someone, so it makes the news.

Spokesman Gregory Ross says the group’s intent is strictly to educate Americans about terrorism: “We are not against Muslims. We are only against that 10 to 15 percent that are radical.”

In 2003, The American Conservative wrote that 99 percent of Muslims were moderate. But the magazine warned: “One percent of one billion is a lot.” Now after five years of war in Iraq, we have 10 to 15? Surely this film’s spokesman (spokesman??) is a fair and impartial judge.

If there are radical Muslims, surely there are tubular Muslims, too, right? I bet those guys are awesome.