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Angelic Anchoring

Kerri-Lee Halkett posted to her blog a recent report Ten O’Clock News aired on the existence of guardian angels. It’s a story almost as exciting as a hypercritical blogger telling you about it.

The gist of the story: People believe in guardian angels, and sometimes people attribute unexplained events to supernatural powers. There is also an extended interview with one of the stars of Touched by an Angel, which the report also notes “ran for nine seasons beginning in 1994.” (Emphasis mine.)

The report also has one of those incredible descriptions under a person’s name local television news can only provide: “NEJIE MIRANDA-SYLVESTER: BELIEVES IN ANGELS.” I really enjoyed the intro to the piece on the

Kerri-Lee Halkett: Alright, think about this: Have you ever thought you might have a Guardian Angel watching over you? Lots of people do, and many say they can even prove it.

Dawn Stensland: Yeah, I believe it.

Most Americans believe in guardian angels. But you think Stensland would at least wait until the report aired before telling us how she felt!

Photo by D’arcy Norman used under a Creative Commons license

This Is Everything I Love About The Local News

This was steel-jawed Sexy Single John Atwater, just now at the end of the 5 o’clock news (paraphrased, sorry, there’s no TiVo here):

“Reports say a giant asteroid could be headed straight for earth. Find out the chances of that happening and what you should know about it tonight at 10.”

To be fair, both Atwater and Dawn Stensland acted a bit incredulous that a giant asteroid was headed to destroy the earth. On the other hand, we don’t get to find out ’til after Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader whether the Earth is being destroyed, just like every other teaser on local TV.

Update, 10:23 p.m.: It just got previewed on the news. We should know soon, and I’ll let you know if the asteroid is going to hit the earth when John Atwater tells me.

Update, 10:32 p.m.: Dawn Stensland told us that there is a 1 in 44,000 chance of us being hit by an asteroid in 2036. Congress is on it, she said, so I assume we’ll all be dead by tomorrow. (Zing!)

Now they’re on to this story about a newborn with a foot in his head. Ooh, now they’re down at Geno’s!

Fox 29: Helping You, Unintelligibly

I caught this promo yesterday after football. This is like if the Micro Machines guy and the movie trailer voice guy mated. Truly, this is the next generation of news.

Drawing Of Man Will Save You From Home Invasion

Yes, this is, just like the photos below, fairly pointless. But who cares! Check out this snippet from Fox 29’s report last night on a home invasion near Temple; 10 seconds in, the camera shifts to a home’s window.

For those of you who want to put what I can only assume is an effective home-invasion deterrent in your window, a larger screenshot is after the jump.

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Guns! Guns! Guns!

In today’s edition of “awkward endings to local TV segments,” here’s a clip from yesterday’s Fox 29 5 o’clock news featuring Hugh Douglas. They were talking about Plaxico Burress, I guess.

Lincoln HS Students, Reporting

Hey, the school district said nothing happened at Lincoln (even though 11 people were arrested). But that’s no fun. Let’s just have all the students report for us. And that’s what Fox 29 did yesterday afternoon.

Also, that one girl’s accent is awesome.

News, Now With Lame Slogan

If you watched either the Phillies or the Eagles yesterday, you might’ve seen this promo a couple of times. (There’s also one that says “ACTION NEWS. OR NEWS WITH ACTION.“)

Or news with action!

Ho, ho, Fox 29! That’s the kind of underdog attitude that could make it in this town. But I wonder if advertising news on demand really works in 2008; I, for one, already know I can get news immediately on the Internet. Don’t most people?

Also shown during the Phillies game last night: Former Eagles defensive end/Ambassador of Fun Hugh Douglas wishing the Phillies good luck. I can’t believe the station’s Phillies slogan is actually, “Way to go.”

Phillies/D-Mac Fever Spreading

My buddy works for SI.com and he asked me to write something about the local baseball nine. Here’s my piece about the Phillies and Philadelphia on their FanNation blog thingy.

I believe I forgot to credit Occasional Glory, David Jordan’s well-done book about the history of the Phillies; one or two of the factoids originally came from there.

Update: Be sure to check out the comments, e.g.:

Photo by pvsbond used under a Creative Commons license

Kenzo Teens To Protest Fox 29

Kerri-Lee Halkett With the economy in freefall, a presidential election no longer about hope and a trivia question on Chio in the Morning that’s offensive to cops, the tone of the news is a little negative these days.

Me, I feel bad for the kids. They come up to me and ask me about the joyous days of news like when I was in high school. It was all presidential blowjobs, school shootings and minute figure skaters (Infoplease: “At 4′ 8″ and 75 pounds, it seems the downsizing trend has extended from the board room to the ice rink”).

And now the high school kids are going to do something about it:

Tired of the negative what about the positive!!! Kensington Students will Hold Protest about Negative Press

Purpose – Students will demand more positive press coverage about their school and work they do in the community.

On October 1, 2008 at 3:00 Kensington High School students will protest at the Fox News studios. “What about the Positive? That’s the question that Kensington students are asking, we are frustrated with only negative press.” Says Dasha Scott a junior at Kensington High School for Creative and Performing Arts and member of Youth United for Change. Referring to the recent media coverage of students fighting at Kensington High School, Fox news reporters spent two days in front of Kensington High School Multiplex covering a fight outside of the school.

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Shocking New Developments In The ‘Fox 29 Are Racist’ Case

When Latrice Bryant held up signs calling Fox 29 racist last week, who knew it would become the hottest political story since Frank Keel crashed a shark mascot’s press conference? Jeff Cole got things going with this promo while Claudia Gomez sought the commentary of Al Sharpton.

Then a newspaper columnist suggested imprisonment for a protest sign; the responses to her column are more art than commentary. thelastRepublicaninPhilly: “I can see it now; if we make the tragic mistake of electing Obama; he’ll take some advice from Goode and hire goons to keep away those pesty reporters (’just one second sweetie’). He’ll have his goons rooming around in press conferences just to make sure they ask the right questions. I know a few other countries that have socialized health care, high taxes and and restricted freedom of speech.” Djata: “It’s even funnier how this paper censors legitimate intellectual ideas.” And, finally, Philly Guy: “You can put nice suits on thugs, give them (they really don’t have to earn them) decent jobs, expect nothing from them, pay them an extremely nice salary, allow them to act like they are respectable in respectable surroundings and at the end they are what we all know they are ….. thugs. There has been this double standard where black behavior can sink to any level they want and there are no recriminations.” Comment number two, Philly Guy; that’s an impressive dedication to nonsensical racism.

And I haven’t even mentioned Bryant’s incredible Myspace page.

Today, more developments: Councilman Goode both defended and bashed the media, Chris Brennan reports. His buzzword: Media diversity — rather, the lack thereof. While he loves freedom of speech, he also didn’t like being followed around by Jeff Cole.

“For the last week, it appears as if the press doesn’t care about my mission either. But I care about my mission. I believe in freedom of the press, even with its lack of diversity. Many black elected officials would never admit it but the lack of diversity in the press is a major issue for us. In fact, many don’t feel that the freedom of speech applies equally to them.”

Councilman Goode probably has quite a few insightful things to say about being a black politician covered largely by an all-white press. Could be a fascinating conversation. Of course, though, none of this would have gotten the publicity it did had his aide not held up a sign that read, “Fox 29 are racist.” Jeff Cole goes out and annoys local powerful people almost every week. “Fox 29 Investigates” saying a Philadelphia politician and his aide are screwing the public trust isn’t going to land on the front page of the Metro section. Hell, a timesheet problem is more notable.

Jeff Cole is apparently spending his time recording awesome promos; Claudia Gomez covered Goode in City Hall today. She seems a dogged enough reporter who appears to get bumped quite easily. There’s video on Fox’s site, but the real treasure is the photo gallery, which I’ve excerpted above. Larger (~1MB) version after the jump. Deinterlace your video before taking screenshots next time, guys!

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