Ed Rendell Insulting Everyone

Hey, so here’s Campbell Brown, talking about Ed Rendell’s comments yesterday. Regarding the next Homeland Security chief, Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano, Rendell said, “Janet’s perfect for that job, because for that job you have to have no life. Janet has no family. Perfect. She can devote, literally, 19, 20 hours a day to it.” Turns out an open microphone picked up on that and CNN broadcast it to the world.

Earlier this year, of course, Ed Rendell said that Barack Obama would have trouble in Pennsylvania because “you’ve got conservative whites here, and I think there are some whites who are probably not ready to vote for an African-American candidate.” (He explained this by saying that if Lynn Swann were white, he would have won by 17 percentage points instead of 22.)

So what’s next for Fast Eddie? Calling John McCain older than dirt? Saying Ron Paul’s followers are bonkers? Maybe making fun of the way Arnold Schwarzenegger talks! Let’s see what he had to say yesterday:

Asked to explain the comments yesterday, Rendell said: “What I meant is that Janet is a person who works 24-7, just like I do. She has no life; neither do I.”

For example, he said he arrived home Tuesday at 10:30 p.m., flipped on the television, and watched a budget program on Pennsylvania Cable News until 1 a.m.

“No person who has a life would do that,” he said. “That’s why, among other qualities, I hope, I am well-suited to be governor. To be governor and do the job well, you can’t have a life.”

Ahh, I see, he has no life, just like that barefoot lady in the Homeland Security office kitchen. Does he also have no family? (Midge and Jesse Rendell could not be reached for comment.) The Inquirer also reminds us that Rendell has not let old people off the hook, either:

Two years later, while running for a second term as governor, Rendell told the editorial board of the Lancaster New Era that gambling brings “brightness and cheer” to some seniors who otherwise “lead very gray lives.”

“But if you put them on the bus, they’re excited,” he said. “They’re happy. They have fun. They see bright lights. They hear music. They pull that slot machine, and with each pull they think they have a chance to win.”

Man, this dude is a one-man comedy machine. Women, white racists, oldheads, his family, even the Philadelphia Eagles… who won’t he insult? I think this man needs to be appointed Secretary of One-Liners in the new Obama cabinet.

Rendell downplays remarks about Arizona governor [Inquirer]
Ed Rendell Thinks Napolitano Will Do Well At Homeland Security, Despite Her Vagina [Wonkette]

Ed Rendell’s Thorough Instructions

Hey, you know how a bunch of local politicians want to eliminate parole? That’s a horrible idea that will decrease public safety, so it’ll probably happen. Parole had recently been suspended by Ed Rendell; he’s now allowed parole to resume for non-violent offenders. And check out his thorough instructions:

The governor says he has advised the Board of Probation and Parole that going forward, the definition of “non-violent offender” should apply to prisoners with no history of violent crimes.

Thanks, guv. Now what’s the definition of violent offender?

Rendell resumes parole of non-violent offenders [KYW 1060]

Pa. Lawmakers: Protecting Us

While everyone was worrying about the Phillies’ postseason and the Dow dropping to triple digits, our lawmakers in Harrisburg were protecting us by passing some new laws. Today, Rendell signed a bunch of ‘em!

Let’s head to the governor’s website and take a look:

• “Senate Bill 1023 amends the Acupuncture Registration Law to require that acupuncturists be licensed by the commonwealth. Current law requires them to be registered.”
• “Senate Bill 884 amends Title 53 by requiring that when enacting an ordinance, regulation or plan regarding the placement of antennas or antennas support structures, a municipality must accommodate amateur radio service communications.”
• “Senate Bill 1019 gives the State Board of Vehicles the authority to discipline out-of-state RV dealers for violating Pennsylvania law.”
• “Senate Bill 295 places limitations on the amount of time that a large vehicle can idle without moving.”
• “House Bill 44 says that, within one year, no person shall sell, offer for sale, or install a mercury thermostat in Pennsylvania.”
• “House Bill 747 allows for the Pennsylvania Game Commission to auction one elk license a year, proceeds of which are to be used in the commission’s elk program.”
• “House Bill 1147 narrows the definition of a chop shop.”
• “House Bill 2499 enacts the Massage Therapy Law and establishes an 11-member State Board of Massage Therapy. The board’s charge is to approve qualifications and fitness of applicants for a license to practice massage therapy; promulgate necessary regulations; revoke, deny, approve, renew or suspend licenses; and submit an annual report.”

Mercury thermometers: Get ‘em while you still can.

Gov. Rendell Signs Dozens of New Bills Into Law [KYW 1060]

Donald Trump Understands Politics

It’d been a while since Donald Trump had been in the news around here, so yesterday he bashed Ed Rendell at a New Jersey golf course opening. It turns out that, instead of giving the casinos in Philadelphia to Donald Trump, Ed Rendell went and gave them to his friends instead! At least this is what Donald Trump says; considering this is also how politics works, I see no reason to think he’s wrong.

“What the governor did is outrageous,” Trump said. “He let a group of his political friends go to another site.” But the Daily News got the other side of the story:

Rendell “has always considered Donald Trump a friend,” Ardo said. “That should put to rest any insinuations that only friends were considered for gaming licenses.”

Ha, ha! Um, I guess. In other Trump news, Ivanka Trump is on the cover of Atlantic City Weekly this week, and she’s a Trump people actually like (and even admire!), so let’s just forget all about this Donald guy. Wait, who?

Trump: Rendell’s no friend of mine [Daily News]
Trump Sumptuousness [AC Weekly]

Ed Rendell Enlists Puppy Army

Gov. Ed Rendell spoke today at a rally in favor of his puppy mill law, which some legislators are attempting to shoot down because it might cost them (or their donors) money. And the world continues to spin.

The puppy mill law supporters are pulling out all the stops, though, with an army of cute doggies.

Rendell made his comments on Tuesday during a capitol rally attended by dog lovers, when he could get a word in edgewise:

“Each and every one of you have to go to your senators and tell them this is an issue that you’ll vote on! [barking] [cheering] A smart dog as well, right?” The governor was upstaged by his own dog, a golden retriever named Maggie.

That’s funny, because I bet Maggie does better football analysis, too.

Rendell Rallies Supporters of His Puppy Mill Proposal [KYW 1060]
Photo by CavinB, Creative Commons license