Drexel’s Non-Discriminating Elevator

As you can tell from this sign on an elevator at a Drexel parking garage at 34th and Market, fat people are also allowed to ride.

Drexel Kids Outsmart Underwear Co.

Victoria’s Secret recently held a promotion asking students to vote for what school should be added to its line of collegiate products. Apparently, the company decided to screw market research and just let the people decide!

Well, whoops! Some thoughtful future engineer at Drexel made a script that moved Drexel from 1,000 votes to 5.2 million.

“We figured out what happens when you click and we made a computer do that hundreds and hundreds of times without showing anything,” [co-conspirator Tim] Plunkett said.

Plunkett explained that the script was written out of boredom.

“We thought it was amusing to see the reactions of the people in the group [on Facebook], which were primarily sorority girls … they thought they had organized it very well and were accomplishing this on their own, which was hilarious to us. It was mostly just because we thought it was humorous that people were getting excited that we were winning,” Plunkett said. [...]

A student from Texas Tech University also tried doing the same thing. However, he was using Windows and running the script on one computer, while Plunkett was using Linux and running it on 30 computers, according to Plunkett.

“Other schools tried to do the same thing, but we just did it better,” Plunkett said.

In what might show the strength of its engineering school, Drexel remains in first on the website. I kind of doubt we’ll be seeing Drexel-themed underwear anytime soon, though.

Hilariously, Bob Jones University is in 12th.

Students fool ‘PINK’ poll [The Triangle]

I Am A Drexel Dictionary

Whoo! Did youse all enjoy my Twittering? Well, apparently Twitter is down right now so even if you were interested in my thoughts on an early-season college basketball game you might not have been able to hear them. Only from me can you get wisdom like, “Academic inquiry: Have Drexel’s girls gotten hotter in the last ~4 years?” and “Penn kid: ‘Hey number zero, is that how many points you’ve scored?’ Me: ‘Hey number forty-two, is that how many points you’ve scored? Oh wait¹.’”

This was the first time Penn played Drexel at Drexel in 87 years. usually the two teams just play at Penn’s Palestra (aka the best place to watch a basketball game ever). Drexel’s gym, the DAC, actually has banners for the winner of the school’s annual intramural basketball league and is not the best place to watch a basketball game ever.

Here’s what happened at the Penn-Drexel game today: 745,000 foul calls, 45 billion missed free throws, a couple okay rollouts and horrible chants from everyone. Despite also giving up 40 offensive rebounds (or so), Penn had a chance to tie the game with three free throws with 2 seconds left. Naturally, the team missed the first one. But Penn actually almost hit a turnaround jumper at the horn on the offensive board; it missed, sparing us overtime.

The best part of the whole game was the trophy for winning the Battle of 33rd Street (apparently) as well as this definition which was on a poster all over the gym:

That’s from Samuel Johnson’s, right? I can only assume, with how poetic it is and all.

¹ This was actually “Oh shit” in the Twitter version, but I changed it for my mom. In real life I sorta just went “OshhHH,” the all-purpose non-vulgar interjection expressing humor.