Change We Can Frame

There was an article in the New York Times on Saturday about Mayor Nutter’s zany plan to get public input on budget decisions. Whoa, what’s he thinking?!

Anyway, what I noticed had nothing to do with the article, naturally:

Yep, that would be a CHANGE poster. A framed CHANGE poster. Already.

Impressive, I guess, but I would have gone with that lawsuit-inspiring HOPE poster instead.

Turning to the Public for Advice on a Budget [NYT]

Obama, Inventor Of The Fist Pound

I shall now direct you to the greatest blog post ever, on the American Thinker website. It’s titled “Needed: anti-Obi gestures.”

Here’s how it opens:

Today at tennis, after I made a hard point, my partner offered the Obama fist bump.

“I don’t do that,” I said, and I gave her a stern look. It’s not the first time I’ve run into Obamabots on the courts; the game attracts argumentative, competitive types (of which I may be one). I didn’t stop and lecture the O’Bot, because Wasting Indoor Court Time is a Sin. I just high-fived her with my racquet, and went on playing.

Here are my thoughts, in no particular order, after reading just the first two grafs.

• She really does think Barack Obama invented the fist pound. Look, here’s a jokey (I think) AlterNet article predicting this from June. If you haven’t seen it, be sure to watch this local news clip about the Obama fist pound, also.
• No one, anywhere, ever, is going to perceive someone’s refusal to fist bump as a sign that this person does not like Barack Obama.
• Are Obama supporters known to be argumentative, competitive types? I thought, since they’re robots — hilarious joke, by the way — they’d be docile and easily programmed.
• Is tennis really the sport that attracts the argumentative types? Just because John McEnroe yelled at the umpire 30 years ago or whatever? I dunno. I think you might find more arguments in a game of, say, baseball or basketball than the one that forces you to wear white.
• A stern look? In response to a moment of congratulation from your tennis partner? If I ever play tennis, I hope this person is not my partner.
• I guess that “Wasting Indoor Court Time is a Sin” is written that way because it’s suppose to be an immutable rule, or maybe it’s a sign seen in indoor tennis courts. But I like to think of it that she’s in a religion where one of the commandments is not to waste court time in tennis, with two factions that split a few hundred years ago over whether it applied only indoors or on all tennis courts.

That’s really all I had the stomach for — or, rather, it could only go downhill from there — but feel free to read on! Just wait ’til somebody teaches this writer about the handshake where you kinda half-hug the person. Her head will explode.

Pluralization We Can’t Believe In

The Grand Old Party has put out a series of email Valentine’s Day cards to celebrate tomorrow’s annual swap of greeting cards by couples. My girlfriend sent me the above one.

She knows me too well. It’s everything I love! Let’s see: Horrible political humor (with bonus points for a months-old reference), bitter politicians complaining about losing an election and, of course, an hilariously poor job at pluralization. Awesome, Republican Party. Simply awesome.

In Retrospect, The Best Obama Swag: The Audacity Of Soap

Today’s Clout features a little anecdote from Daily News columnist Ronnie Polaneczky about a great piece of Obama merchandise she picked up at the inauguration: The Audacity of Soap!

This is probably the most clever of all the Obama merchandise I’ve seen. And, of course, nobody got it:

Ronnie wanted four bars to take home to her editors. But she balked at the $5 price. The vendor eventually settled for half.

“He said I was only the second person in the crowd who understood the reference,” Ronnie said.

Yes, this isn’t new, but it’s a quality reminder nonetheless that, if anything, Obama has already brought us all this great merchandise and we’re not even a week into his presidency yet. Wait ’til he has a scandal!

Clout: Fumo had Daily News reporter in his sights [Daily News]

Bush: A Busy President

We’re only one day into the Barack Obama presidency, and it’s turning even the blackest hearts to lush, read ones. (Is this how it works? Maybe the small heart gets bigger, like with the Grinch.) Even the posters on Domelights, a notoriously whiny bunch, have been pretty upbeat about the inauguration. There’s still plenty of sniping at each other — one poster calls another an “idiotic coward” — but not too much toward Obama, and nothing too stupid. (This is subject to change.)

But I did come across this new, great argument:

Man, Bush has dealt with more than the last three President’s combined! Two wars, Hurricane Katrina, Terrorism, the Economy! Hopefully no other President has to deal with as much as him, he had no breaks! So, with everything he dealt with he didn’t do too bad of a job in my point of view!

Don’t know if this is a joke, but I’m really hoping it’s not.

UArts Students On Obama

UArts kids celebrated yesterday’s inauguration yesterday by making some art for Barack Obama, KYW 1060 reports. Some students also made everyone who heard the report want to make a thousand art school jokes.

• “I wrote, ‘Yay, Obama,’ because I’m glad he’s president.”
• “I wrote, ‘Work it B-Rock,’ and I wrote, ‘Keep the Hope Alive in ‘09.’”

Yay, UArts. Yay.

University of the Arts Marks Obama Inauguration — with Markers [KYW 1060]

It Sure Does, ESPN

His election will be meaningless, however, if we do not get a college football playoff by the end of his term.

Barry’s Big Day

Hey! Come back around 11:30 for my first-ever inauguration liveblog. Consider it my hazing of the new president. And remember this quote I heard on the news as I woke up this morning: “I just hope Obama can bring the change we’ve been hoping for.” That’s what we want from President Obama: A change sandwich made with hope.

10:58: And we’re back! Early, even. Right now I’m at my place, watching CNN; when I turned on the television the first thing I saw was Dick Cheney in a wheelchair. Wolf Blitzer said that “some people will probably make comments about that.”

10:59: Now they’re interviewing John Cusack. And John McCain is apparently not here, although “he wanted to.” Ooh, Steven Spielberg! Man, isn’t democracy great?

11:00: CNN has these little “FACT” boxes at the bottom of the screen. Here’s my favorite one so far: “The three-course meal includes seafood stew, pheasant and duck, molasses sweet poratoes and apple cinnamon sponge cake.”

11:01: Wolf Blitzer just got really close to praising Barack Obama for the nice weather. This is going to be a good day.

More »

Internet Proven Useless Once Again

I’m all excited about the end of the Bush Administration, as I’m sure everyone except for comedians are. (Actually, I guess I’m pretty bummed about this, too.) But there is another source of nearly limitless amusement that won’t be leaving us anytime soon: The Internet!

The Internet, too, has the added bonus of not being able to start wars. Or, perhaps, do anything: Barack Obama’s Change.gov, which allowed citizens — actual people, like you and me! — to submit ideas to the president before the new election. As one might have expected, the ideas have been pretty much what people who spend a ton of time on the Internet (i.e., upper middle class kids) care about.

The top vote-getter in the first round of voting was marijuana legalization. Obama responded with a one-sentence reply that he was not in favor of it. Considering before the election Obama couldn’t even really come out against >baggy pants laws, this isn’t much of a surprise¹.

But no matter. Stuck with a ton of questions about things like marijuana legalization, Obama punted and instituted a new round of voting. Later, Change.gov instituted a new feature, the Citizens Briefing Book, which is essentially the same thing has before but features Tom Daschle confirming in a video that yes, indeed, children learn better when they’re healthy.

Anyway, the new list is just like the rest of them, which means I can pull out a hilarious collection of ideas (some awesome, some nonsensical, all of them never to be taken seriously by the president) at “random” from the top 30: Ending marijuana prohibition, “Commit to becoming the ‘Greenest’ country in the world”, ending DEA raids on medical marijuana clinics, bullet trains (which would make it easier to get to places carrying our newly-legal pot), “Revoke the Tax Exempt Status of the Church of Scientology”, “Boost America’s Economy with Legal Onine Poker”, ending the drug war, another marijuana legalization one, “Change.gov: Group similar submissions better” and, of course, “End the Truth Embargo on Extraterrestrials (UFO Disclosure).”

Mr. President – Tell us the Truth about the extraterrestrial presence on this planet and release as much relevant information to the American people as possible within reasonable constraints of national security. It is time for the people of the world to know the truth about the universe they inhabit. [...] Until this “Truth Embargo” is ended there will be no public access to technologies derived from extraterrestrial vehicles in this critical time of mounting economic and environmental challenges.

And there’s this one, which is my favorite:

Fortunately, the online populace is just not that into hanging all white people. Phew! I can rest easy. I think I’ll relax by playing some online poker.

¹ I linked that New York Post story because it had the headline I was looking for; however, Googling Obama baggy pants laws gives a bunch of stories with widely conflicting headlines. Most, though, say Obama denounced baggy pants laws. Yes, Obama said that baggy (sagging? saggy?) pants laws were a waste of time, but spent most of his answer telling black men to dress better. “Brothers should pull up their pants,” Obama said. “Now get off my lawn! And it’s the White House lawn, too, so what the hell, how did you kids even get in here anyway?” He didn’t say those last two sentences. I kind of felt they were implied.

That Google search keeps on giving, too: It also gives us a story from November’s New York Times titled, “Can Obama Help Kill Baggy Pants Look?.

Google ‘Obama Looking Hopeful’

Everyone’s a-writin’ about Obama again, what with the inauguration coming up next week. (I voted “No” on that Facebook poll, by the way.) From Inquirer photographer Tom Gralish comes the story of the photo behind the Obama “HOPE” poster, made by Shepard Fairey. Turns out it’s a Reuters photo by Jim Young, shot in 2007, of Obama during the confirmation hearings for Deputy Secretary of State John Negroponte.

Fun story, plus it’s so appropriate that the enduring image of the 2008 campaign is, in essence, a stolen Reuters photo found with a Google Image Search and then flipped horizontally. I can only hope Fairey was using a bootleg copy of Photoshop as well.

The Obama Poster Photographer ID’d [Scene on the Road]
Image via Mike Webkist used under a Creative Commons license