Well, hello, Lance Rogers! Sorry I didn’t notice your month-old ad until now, but I must say: It is awesome. Yep, those heroin users, always doing lots of heroin and then escaping into nothingness and not doing anything for hours and getting DUIs in their morphine dreams.
Rogers’ campaign also registered DaylinLeach.com, which features more about this totally awesome Daylin Leach amendment. A quick recap as I understand it: If one gets pulled over and are drug tested, any amount of an illegal drug in your system can be used as evidence of a DUI. Most everything but marijuana exits the body amazingly quickly, so the law usually catches recreational pot smokers who may or may not be stoned. It has nothing to do with impairment or making the roads safer.
And nobody cares about that, especially not politicians. Well Daylin Leach actually cared about that. And tried to fix it! He somehow actually thought this amendment would be an easy sell to the State Senate, too, which might mean he actually cares about personal freedoms and maybe even how much less safe the War on Drugs makes us and… oh, man, I got it!
Official Philadelphia Will Do Endorsement: Daylin Leach for State House. Do you really want a domain squatter in the state legislature?
I am now more aware of mitochondrial disease than ever! That’s mainly because of Tampa Bay Rays’ outfielder Rocco Baldelli, I think, but I guess we can give ol’ Daylin a little extra credit, too.
Points off, though, for getting both words in “familial dysautonomia” incorrect.
Trenton is a city in New Jersey, and it has two newspapers, one of which is The Trentonian. (You follow me here?) And The Trentonian has a columnist named L.A. Parker.
And, today, the columnist with a name disturbingly close to the company that brought us L.A. Lights shoes wrote a column titled Activist: City needs plan for Obama assassination. Oh, yes, what will happen to Trenton if its most famous native son, Barack Obama, is assassinated? They better have a contingency plan!
Anyway, here’s the best paragraph:
Whether you believe James Earl Ray acted alone or Lee Harvey Oswald fired without conspiracy or that John Wilkes Booth delivered a monological historical intervention, assassination remains a showstopper of U.S. human energy.
Sarah Palin was recently in Scranton. After being introduced by a guy saying “Sweet Home Pennsylvania” (she’s from Scranton, too, apparently) and “Gonna Fly Now,” Palin entered to see a bunch of random letters in a row (above).
John Adler is apparently some dude running for Congress in New Jersey. Here, he shows how is opponent is similar to George W. Bush, in an ad with quite high production values.
I saw it on Jeopardy! last night. It was also apparently filmed in his kitchen.
KYW 1060 reports too many people have registered to vote, and so there will be a ridiculously long line at your polling place if you’re a college kid or something:
The Committee of 70 says 16 divisions in the city are way beyond the state limit for number of registered voters.
The group’s policy director, Sarah Stevenson, says those divisions are in center city, near Penn and Drexel in West Philly, and in the northeast: “The threshold in the state election code is 1200 voters per division. Some divisions here are just over 1,200, but some have three times as many voters.
The city says it can’t split the divisions this late in the game, so for some reason people in the Northeast will not be able to vote for ol’ McCain only if they stand in line for six hours. Ha ha, since when do Republicans have to wait in line to vote?
Bobbi and Garry Adair of Montgomeryville were on a down elevator last Sunday at the Westin in Center City - he in a Phillies shirt, she in a Donovan McNabb Eagles jersey - when the door opened.
In stepped Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (left) and her security guys. Palin wore a New York Rangers sweater with “Palin 08″ on the back.
Bobbi Adair greeted the veep candidate and asked what she was up to.
Going for a run, Palin replied.
“Not in that shirt you’re not,” Adair says she told her.
Which explains why Palin jogged in a green No. 5 jersey, topped by a pink cap. News anchors later praised her sartorial sense.
I can’t believe the Adairs. Could you imagine how funny it would be if Sarah Palin ran around Philadelphia for a photo op with a New York Rangers jersey on? It’d be front page news for weeks. And the team the Flyers play opening night? Of course: The New York Rangers.
Will Bunch is predictably hilariously upset about all of this: “Flyers fans should be outraged — even conservative ones, because this misuse of a hockey game for his political agenda is flat out wrong.” That’ll be five minutes for misuse of a hockey game.
Let the “Hockey Mom” puns begin. Sarah Palin is dropping the puck at the Flyers opener. I assume that Sarah Palin, being a true blue fan of the game and an aw-shucks folksy Alaskan, is not doing any sort of “ceremonial” nonsense; she is probably refereeing the contest as well.
Comcast Spectacor’s press release says otherwise; they must just be pulling our chain. An excerpt:
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, the nation’s most popular hockey mom, will join the winner of the Philadelphia Flyers regional search for the “Ultimate Hockey Mom” contest and drop the puck at the ceremonial opening face-off as the home team Flyers host the New York Rangers at the Wachovia Center on Saturday, October 11 at 7 p.m.
“Because of the tremendous amount of publicity she has brought to our sport, we invited the most popular hockey mom in North America to our home opener to help us get our season started,” said Comcast-Spectacor Chairman Ed Snider who founded the Flyers in 1967. “We are very excited she has accepted our offer and we are very proud of the publicity she is generating for hockey moms and the sport of hockey.”
See, they’re bringing out a regular hockey mom along with Palin so you can’t boo her. (This is like when Pat Croce introduced Sugar Ray before Game 5 of the 2001 NBA Finals.) Also, why only a regional search for the Ultimate Hockey Mom? Pretty soon John McCain’s going to suspend his campaign to say we should only vote in Alaska.
It’s a good thing Palin finally got some publicity for the sport of hockey, though.
John McCain’s daughter, Meghan, was recently in Philadelphia stumping for dear old dad. She also stopped by McCain’s Bucks County headquarters and revealed her plan for literary world domination:
Meghan, who bears a striking resemblance to her mother, Cindy, recently authored a children’s book, “My Dad, John McCain,” and plans to write a satirical account of her campaign experiences after next month’s election.
She described the experience of watching her younger brother, Jimmy, deploy to Iraq two years ago as “a big motivator” to begin stumping with her father and to begin writing her blog.
Typical reaction, actually: Seeing a younger sibling go to war frequently causes the urge to blog. Seriously, go look it up. Anyway, I certainly cannot wait for her satirical account of the election. Ooh, maybe she can then write a couple episodes of Futurama like Al Gore’s daughter!
While Byrne says the toy industry is typically “recession-resistant,” this year also has the presidential election, which could distract some shoppers, and five fewer shopping days between Thanksgiving and Christmas than last year.
According to this Associated Press article on toys and the recession, the presidential election will distract our nation enough to cause fewer toys to be sold this Christmas. That means a drop in tax revenue, a loss of jobs and pretty soon we’ll look up and notice Iraq has invaded and taken over the United States.
Why do Barack Obama and John McCain hate America? That can be the only reason they continue to keep this election going instead of just having it, say, tomorrow. Please? Can we please have it tomorrow just so it ends? C’mon, what’s the worst that could happen?
Trenton is a city in New Jersey, and it has two newspapers, one of which is The Trentonian. (You follow me here?) And The Trentonian has a columnist named L.A. Parker.
KYW 1060 reports 
John McCain’s daughter, Meghan, was recently in Philadelphia stumping for dear old dad. She also 
