Jan13 |
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Mysterious Fake Inquirer FrontsWhat would you expect to find in the photostream of a Flickr user named Romney 2012? Would you believe parody Philadephia Inquirer pages?!  And there are one and two and three. Number two has a headline saying Pat Burrell left for the money — which is so laughably the opposite of the situation I don’t know where to start — and number three has this awesome skybox above the flag:  The fonts and such are all dead on, but whatever Romney supporter is behind this is probably just editing a .pdf of the front page in Acrobat to change the headlines. But that’s no fun, so let’s use this theory instead: It’s a disgruntled design employee who stays behind after work to make a parody front page, making sure to put at least one right-wing talking point in each issue. Ha ha, did you see that one page? Peter Griffin of Family Guy died! Oh, man, this dude also has a photo of a rocket slide! We used to have one of those at Picariello Playground when I was little and it was awesome. Kids today don’t know what they’re missing. |
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The I-5? Why would the Inquirer be reporting on the I-5? Frankly, I expect more out of my random parody newspapers found on Flickr.
my favorite is probably the “Slideshow D2″ slipped into the table of contents…
In other news, my brother fell through the exceedingly dangerous hole in the floor of the top level of the rocket slide at picarello. He of course landed on his feet, fell to his knees and rolled over right through the hole in the floor in the second level of the rocket slide. Of course that time he landed on his back. My mom had to crawl up inside the rocketslide and carry him out. I’m not really sure how he wasn’t paralyzed….
We used to go to the Acme and buy wax paper (or maybe somebody would just steal a piece, I don’t remember) and use it on the slide to make it extra awesome/dangerous. Then we’d play squish the lemon!
Side note: I can’t believe all my childhood games had non-offensive names. We even called it “kill the man with the ball” instead of “smear the queer.” “Suey” instead of “chink.” I don’t know if squish the lemon had an offensive name (I mean, besides to lemons). I never learned these names until I was way older. All good, of course, I’m just pleasantly surprised.
I always remember the top floor of that rocketslide being incredibly claustrophobic-like. And pointless, since it was like 2 feet wide and had nothing up there. That drop from the second to the first floor was pretty high (4′-5′?), if I remember correctly, that must have been pretty painful.
THIS HAS BEEN THE PHILADELPHIA WILL DO FAR NORTHEAST REPORT FOR JANUARY 13, 2009.
Oh, and SlideShow is an actual feature in the paper, it’s the national gossip column.
But that would have been an awesome joke. I’m going to steal it sometime down the road.
I-5 makes sense since it is Mickey Rourke, since he is a Hollywood actor.
You can actually find a photo and PDF download of the actual front pages of 666 (I kid you not) newspapers from throughout the world on the Newseum’s website including The Philadelphia Inquirer. I downloaded it and it can’t be edited unless you have a password.
There is another one now filled with even more right wing nuttiness.
as far as I know “suey” and “chink” are two different, yet similar, games… I had some distant cousins from central PA that called “suey” “suicide”. I never understood why, of course I never understood why it was called “suey” either.
Woohoo! Finally legalized hobo beatings! I knew there was a reason I voted for Rendell.
Wow, this guy is the Mark Twain of our day. Eagles! Bribery! If only Romney was able to tap into his skills to electrify his base.
For what it’s worth, in Drexel Hill it was always “Kill the Man with the Ball” or “Rumble Fumble”
Wait. Picarello. You’re from Morrell?
Awesome!
Also I noticed that this man has a real hardon for Israel…are Palestinians evildoers by birth or is there some sort of initiation they go through?
@Glav Close to it. I grew up in what (I think) is technically caled Pennswood, though that may just have been the name Korman gave to it. Nobody called it that, it’s the section inbetween Keswick and Academy and Red Lion and Chalfont (including the loop streets off Chalfont). But I don’t think I would include those streets named after Pelle Lindbergh on it, I think that was a different development. Across from Modena Park, I guess. I was kinda sad I never had a real name for my section of the city, I believe a large chunk of the Far Northeast area where I (and a few commenters on this post) grew up is called “North Torresdale.”
Googling “Picarello playground” brought up Philadelphia Will Do, so I checked; apparently the spelling is Picariello. My guess is this playground’s name is spelled incorrectly 105% of the time.
@R.M. I’ve never looked into it, but I am positive you can brute-force the password (or something) and open up the .pdf for editing.
do you have mullets and cameros?
I thought you meant Piccoli when I first read it.
Similar enough name, but quite a distance away. Where (when I was there) the illustrious North Catholic freshman football team would run the gauntlet at practice (the gauntlet meaning dodging old syringes and condoms while doing monkey rolls and the like).
Oh my gosh! We called it suey (in Cherry Hill) too!!! I used to use a blue rubber ball for extra bounciness.
Yeah, suey with a pimple ball on the side of La Brum’s gym was awesome. But we usually used tennis balls. The Wikipedia entry on wall ball, incidentally, is long, yet predictably uninformative.
While searching for an etymology of suey, I came across this interview from a college paper:
I also liked the game where you throw the ball off the step and how far it goes depends on whether you get a single, double, triple, homer, make an out, etc. It’s good for those Northeast homes that have a lawn and concrete walkway leading up to steps.
Also, the wiki entry for suicide is better; suey is apparently just a shortening of that. Those two and our little offensively-named version are both just different codes, if you will, of wall ball, I believe.
Wow, I should do a Ken Burns-esque documentary on how wall ball is America.
Wasn’t suey the crocodile hunter’s dog and/or daughter too?