Liveblogging Eagles-Redskins

Donovan McNabb was benched. The Eagles were 5-5-1. The best team in the NFL, the Giants, loomed after the Thanksgiving game against the Cardinals.

But then McNabb’s wife had twins, and the Eagles are undefeated ever since. Combined, the twins have 21 receptions for 336 yards and 5 touchdowns, and one of the toddlers even scored a touchdown out of the Wildcat formation.

Everything has fallen in place for the Eagles; with Tampa Bay’s loss to San Diego today, if the Eagles win today and next week against Dallas, they make the playoffs. Today, the Eagles play at Washington. Let’s liveblog this.Pregame
One of the channels just showed a highlight of Jeff Garcia (career record as Eagles starting QB, 6-2) with a bloody nose looking like Andrew WK; his Buccaneers gave up the last 21 points of the game and lost to San Diego, 41-24.

Meanwhile, Fox right now is playing Tony Siragusa’s Christmas music (made during his rookie year, apparently?) as the Patriots lead the Cardinals, 47-7. At least they’re not talking about how the Cardinals are losing because of the snow. (Note: The Cardinals are actually losing because they are horrible.)

Oh, good, Joe Buck is announcing. At least he’s not alongside Tim McCarver; his partner Troy Aikman, however, does have freakishly large hands. You only see them during pregame (like right now), but they’re mesmerizing.

1st qtr., 8:32 left
The Eagles follow up a nice first down on a 3rd and 2 play with… a false start and a one-yard loss on a first-down run. The false start was on wideout Greg Lewis; I have no idea if this is true, but every football announcer ever said it’s really dumb for wide receivers to false start. The Eagles eventually end up punting.

Joe Buck has promised everyone “not just game updates, but playoff updates” during this contest. I hope we’re not going to be hearing updates on, say, Houston-Oakland, Joe.

The phrase “Whopper virgin” really skeeves me out. Ick.

1st qtr., 4:19 left
McNabb just attempted a 15-yard shovel pass.

1st qtr., 3:03 left
The Eagles got a pair of nice first downs after a punt pinned them back at their own 4, but then lost a ton of yardage on a sack on third down. The Redskins have decent field position after a punt.

In more important news, they are racing luxury trucks. As the man on the commercial says, I can’t think of any other word to say but fantastic. There are also a ton of jewelry commercials, each one more infuriating than the last. They’re infuriating mainly because: Who can afford to go anywhere but Jack Kellmer right now?

2nd qtr., 14:00 left
Another (real) reason for the Eagles’ turnaround, I guess: Akeem Jordan, who has started the last 5 games at linebacker. He makes a nice play to blow up a Santana Moss screen and force the Redskins into a 54-yard field goal attempt. It was way short, and Will Demps returned it 55 yards to the Eagles’ 47.

Joe Buck has an excellent voice, I think; his call of that last field goal attempt and return was quite good. But he’s always playing the arbiter of all that is moral and right in sports; earlier today he went on and on about Jim Zorn’s job situation (Washington is 7-7 after losing 5 of its last 6) and Clinton Portis’s sarcastic “genius” comment. I guess some people might care about that stuff, and I don’t mind it being brought up, but it’s just so boring when Joe Buck goes on and on about it. Yawn, right?

2nd qtr., 3:24 left
I like carnage as much as the next guy, but I think I prefer the horse-abuse of horse racing to the human-abuse of pro football. Asante Samuel (sure to become another in a long line of great dirty/borderline dirty Philadelphia Eagles defensive backs) just hit Ladell Betts (I think) right in the head, and it almost hurt me. A handful of NFL players have had horrible post-career health issues due to concussions, and I have to imagine it’s because of plays like that. Ick.

But: Yawn, right? Let’s bash the Eagles instead for missing three chances at an interception in the end zone on a third down pass, leaving the Redskins a field goal attempt. It’s 3-0, the Redskins’ first lead in four weeks! But of course.

Joe Buck just made the first reference to Eagles’ long-snapper Jon Dorenbos’ side career as a magician. I wonder if he likes Ricky Jay, that guy is awesome.

See? Even Arsenio is impressed.

2nd qtr., 3:17 left
AHH TROY AIKMAN’S ENORMOUS HANDS!!!

2nd qtr., 2:41 left
They show a little video package on Sammy Baugh, the great Redskins quarterback who died this week. Fun fact: He once led the league in passing, punting and interceptions! How come Donovan McNabb hasn’t ever done that? Ugh, what a slacker he is.

2nd qtr., 2:16 left
Marley & Me movie ad counter currently at: 56,273. I blame you for this, John Grogan.

Current number of minutes Joe Buck talked about a yellow line put on the screen by a computer: 2 or so.

Halftime
An inspiring end to a first half that was, uhm… well, at least it was fast. During the break, I’ll be watching Deer Valley Celebrity Ski Fest on KYW. Apparently Heidi and Spencer from The Hills are on one of the teams; can we root for an accident?

3rd qtr., 11:27 left
Also watched during halftime: A Jack Russell terrier race on ESPN2. The Eagles got the ball first in the second half, Donovan McNabb predictably fumbled it away on a third down and now the Redskins are 20 yards away from the end zone. Uh oh.

3rd qtr., 8:43 left
Also predictable: A Clinton Portis 1-yard touchdown run. I’d put good money on the Eagles’ moving down the field rather easily here, for the first time all game, and scoring a touchdown. It’s just how things work for them.

3rd qtr., 4:18 left
Would I have won my bet? No, of course not, since I stupidly wrote “and scoring a touchdown.” I should have just said they’d move the ball down the field easily, as they did this drive; of course the Eagles had to settle for a field goal.

I love the old man from Sprint talking about updating your Facebook status from his phone. I hate this Kay Jewelers ad, where Jane Seymour says all she wants is for her necklace to become a “universal symbol of hope and love.” That’s quite a big wish!

End of 3rd qtr.
Joe Buck and I agree that the big Trent Cole sack was the big play of that drive. That was obvious, of course.

This game is really flying along so far; I assume the fourth quarter will feature a combined 35 points… hmm, let’s make it a 31-17 Eagles win. Okay, probably unlikely, but you’d be nuts too if you had to see this Gus the Groundhog “holiday gift rapper” commercial for the 457th time.

4th qtr., 14:06 left
Donovan McNabb celebrated the nice stop by the Eagles defense with two consecutive throws right into the ground.

4th qtr., 11:18 left
The Eagles got a big blitz on 3rd down and Asante Samuel dropped an easy interception around the 45-yard line; the Redskins then got off a 50-yard punt and suddenly the Eagles are starting at their own three. This is how this game has been going.

4th qtr., 9:50 left
Sav Rocca — who’s been having a horrible game — only punts it to the Eagles’ own 44 yard line. Here’s when Important Football Columnists would write things like, “Game over! Forget it! The Eagles are done. Cut Donovan and fire Andy Reid!” That might be what’s going to happen, though.

My favorite ad tagline this Christmas season: “Give the gift of five-dollar footlongs.”

4th qtr., 8:15 left
If you watched football or the baseball playoffs this year, you no doubt saw Toyota’s horrible “Saved by Zero” ad campaign, which infuriated every single human being on earth. Their new ad jingle is nowhere near as annoying, but Toyota’s current sale is a little confusing: The Toyotathon of Toyotathons. I sorta get what it means, but, um, really? That’s what you’re going with, Toyota? Toyotathon of Toyotathons. Okay, whatever you want.

4th qtr., 5:30 left
DeSean Jackson just dropped a 50-yard pass. The next play, L.J. Smith cleanly caught a one-yard pass out in the flat. Whoo!

4th qtr., 4:50 left
The Eagles finally got some field position when Sav Rocca punted it to around the 20, but Antwaan Randle El naturally returned it all the way into Redskins territory. It feels like the Eagles might as well be down 40 points.

4th qtr., 3:15 left
What’s great is the Eagles are just standing around at about the 12 yard line, and you can see Eagles fans in the stands in the background complaining that they’re taking too much time. (They are right.)

4th qtr., 1:10 left
Troy Aikman notes the Eagles switched the sides of their receivers while running the 2 minute drill; he says teams don’t usually do this because it takes too much time off the clock. I wonder if this is what the Eagles did in the Super Bowl in 2005.

4th qtr., 0:39 left
DeSean Jackson’s fourth drop of the day comes in the corner of the end zone. The Eagles, though, are all the way down to the Washington 29.

4th qtr., 0:12 left
A fourth-down pass to Brian Westbrook brings it down to the 18. Two shots at the end zone for the Eagles here.

End of game
Reggie Brown catches a pass and is kept out of the end zone by about 6 inches or so. A fitting end. 10-3, Redskins.