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 Nooooooooo! MillerCoors (their U.S. operations are combined) has announced it will stop selling Sparks and other alcoholic energy drinks. The company had been sued earlier this year by the Center for Science in the Public Interest in an attempt to get Sparks off the market.
Cue the victorious quotes!
“Attorneys general from around the country are gravely concerned about premixed alcoholic energy drinks because these products are dangerous and look and taste like popular nonalcoholic energy drinks,” said Maine Attorney General Steve Rowe. “They’re popular with young people who wrongly believe that the caffeine will counteract the intoxicating effects of the alcohol.” [...]
“Now that Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors have each agreed separately to discontinue caffeinated alcoholic drinks, this entire niche of products is all but shut down,” [the director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest] said.
Nobody, of course, can mix alcohol and caffeine themselves; one needs a chemistry degree for that.
It actually gets worse. Sparks isn’t technically going off the market altogether; MillerCoors will “continue to sell a reformulated version of Sparks that does not include caffeine, taurine, guarana and ginseng.” That means it’s all the disgusting taste of Sparks without any of the kick. Goodbye (real) Sparks, we hardly knew ye.
MillerCoors Agrees to Stop Selling Alcoholic Energy Drinks [Join Together]
Image by Justin used under a Creative Commons license
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“Goodbye (real) Sparks, we hardly knew ye.”
Speak for yeself, buddy.
You just took away a little peace of my soul MillerCoors.
This is a sad sad day for fraternity brothers and Penn Sixers.
Now how am I supposed to stay energized and on task, whilst maintaining a buzz?
What the hell happened to just dumping some whiskey into coffee? Problem solved.
“They’re popular with young people who wrongly believe that the caffeine will counteract the intoxicating effects of the alcohol.” [...]
WTF are they talking about, we know what it is and thats why we drink it…. fuck them they dont know whats good for us…
We still have Jaegerbombs!
Umm, ya, this is crap. Why the hell would they want to counteract the intoxicating effects of alcohol? thats tarded, if they want the energy without the buzz, they can drink a monster, nos, rockstar, amp, or any of the other energy drinks out there. The point of sparks is to have the intoxicating effects of alcohol with the energizing effects of an energy drink. GEE, thank you retarded people, you have once again ruined something great because you cant tell the difference between a beer and a cup of coffee!!!!! I hate you all now, you just took away my lifeblood!
“They’re popular with young people who wrongly believe that the caffeine will counteract the intoxicating effects of the alcohol.”
Did the people who came up with that ever drink a Sparks? I’ve been drinking Sparks since it came out. I know damn well it gets me drunk as hell and takes less cans of it than beer! I’ve never got any alcohol realated offences from drinking it either. The taurine, guarana and ginseng only counteract the alcohol from killing brain cells if anything…
Why don’t they just take the alcohol out of cheap liquor, not sell Busch light in 30 packs and ban Colt 45 because too many wifes get beat and pickup trucks get smashed? I’m glad to see that the govenment is so concerned about the “young drinkers” having fun. Must be the “old” street bums that collect change and alcoholics who live off wellfair that can’t go a day with out being drunk don’t matter. At least there’s still Joose.