Abridged Daily News Columnists

Jill Porter: “LOOK! Men in high heels! I assume I’ve got your attention, because what could be more curious than guys with hairy legs and heavy socks in four-inch patent-leather pumps?” Umm, off the top of my head:

• LOOK! Women in high heels!
• LOOK! Women in [anything besides a burka].
• LOOK! Free heroin!
• LOOK! Free Hershey’s IceBreaker Pacs!
• LOOK! Busta Rhymes!
• LOOK!

Elmer Smith: Fourth graf: “I was colored when I left home for Fort Jackson, S.C., in 1965. I had become a black man by 1968.” Oh, that’s a great line. I’m going to stop there because I don’t think it can get better than that.

Stu Bykofsky: Barack Obama better not get too close to “far left” bloggers — whatever that means — or he’ll be recalled or impeached or something!

Christine Flowers: I actually need to email Christine Flowers to ask her a question before I recap this column. Update to come.

Update: I actually emailed her, concerning her column today. Then I realized I didn’t care so I had any reply automatically sent to the trash! (Not really, I’m far too lazy to do that.) Consider this your Christine Flowers abridgment for today.