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Date » 2008 » October « Home

Yes, Here’s The Clip You Want To See

Things we know about Chase Utley:

1. He’s a rather talented baseball player.

2. He just loves little puppies and kittens.

3. He likes to eat breakfast at Morning Glory.

4. He likes to curse.

Hey, why aren’t Chase Utley and I best friends? Three of those items describe both of us! (The one that doesn’t is #1, in case you’re a fuckin’ moron.)

840 Billion People Watch Parade

Click to enlarge.

The coolest part of the parade so far is what happens once it passes: The fans move from the sidewalks and move right into the middle of the street to celebrate some more. Hey, look, the sea of red kinda looks like Symphony House! Okay, um, kinda.

City Council Calls For Day Games


A million billion years ago (i.e., October 2007), Philadelphia City Council took time out to demand Roberto Clemente’s number for all teams. That hasn’t happened, of course, and so City Council has decided to weigh in on baseball matters again:

Councilman Jim Kenney’s resolution calls on the league to change its rules to require at least one day game during the playoffs and the World Series. This year’s series World Series games all started around 8:30 p.m. The resolution, approved by Council, said day games would ensure that “youths can share in the excitement of these games and we can preserve the next generation of baseball fans.” The resolution also noted that some games ended after midnight, meaning young fans had to go to bed not knowing the final score.

Ahh, yes, perhaps we can start the games at around 1 or 2 p.m., so our youths can share in the excitement of skipping school to watch the World’s Series!

Photo via Library of Congress

SEPTA: We’re Not Getting There

Curious travel advisory on SEPTA’s website. What could it mean?

A friend IMs and explains:

My mom called me from the train station. The announcement said, “Due to unusually high rider volume, Regional Rail service is suspended. Please find alternate transportation.”

Ha, ha, ha, hahahahahahaha. Way to shut down Regional Rail service the day of the Phillies parade, SEPTA!

Update: KYW 1060 has more; trains are now apparently 30 minutes behind schedule. There’s a 2-hour wait at the PATCO stop in Lindenwald.

Update 2: “All inbound Regional Rail service is suspended as of 1pm until further notice. There is no southbound BSL service south of Race/Vine.” Take public transportation down to the stadium for the parade, they say. Whoops!

Cole Hamels Is The Next Billy Mays

103108hamelssharksteammop.jpg Forget the parade. Cole Hamels has signed a deal to sell autographed balls, bats and other memorabilia. But wait, there’s more!

Tonight, Hamels will be on QVC shilling stuff! Set your DVRs!

As part of the agreement, Hamels… will appear on QVC Friday between 8 and 11 p.m., during which time Mounted Memories and MAB Celebrity Sports will be selling a full line of World Series items including a selection of products signed by the pitcher.

Three hours hawking products on QVC! Now that’s a great way to spend your Friday night after winning World Series MVP.

Cole Hamels signs autograph deal [Philadelphia Business Journal]

Broad Street Bullies, Vol. 2

I took a ton of videos on Wednesday night, but the best two were back-to-back. There was the car-flipping I posted yesterday; above is the video I took a minute or so later.

So, um, since when did Mega Man give up his arm gun and switch to batons? That doesn’t seem like the best way to defeat the evil Dr. Wily and his robot masters!

Abridged Daily News Columnists

Dave Davies: This column has been written to correct all the misinformation on conservative blogs about a previous Davies column about street money. Wait, what?

Elmer Smith: Hey, people want to open a charter school just for foster kids!

Jill Porter: Every time Vince Fumo is indicted, the Phillies win a title! Oh, I just knew Vince had done this all for us.

Christine Flowers: “Tampa Bay is a young team, a good team, an honorable team.” Ha, ha, Christine Flowers sports columns are awesome.

Everyone Loves A Phillies Parade!

103108colehamelsparade.jpg It’s Parade Day! Yes, folks: Today, for the first time ever, the city of Philadelphia will have a parade.

Okay, so maybe not. But this will be the first time in 25 years a sports team will get a parade in Philadelphia. If you haven’t been paying attention, the Philadelphia Phillies recently became the first pro baseball team to land on the moon. Hence the celebration!

A million billion people will be in the city today to celebrate the team of nine strangers who play in South Philly; it starts at noon at 20th and Market and will get down to the stadiums by about 1:45. Ooh, I’m totally sure Ferko String Band is going to win this year!

As you may have heard, Mayor Nutter has told people not to be a jackass during the parade. During the 1980 parade, liquor stores and banks were closed across the city, but (don’t worry!) this year liquor stores will remain open.

Phillies Fans Learn Valuable Lesson

That valuable lesson? Don’t stand on top of a bus shelter in a group. [via Awful Announcing]

Bootleg Rubber Ducks Best Way To Celebrate Phillies World Series Win


Hey kids! Pumped about the Phillies? Don’t waste your time buying the official merchandise; that’s for big time liberal rich folk. And don’t bother with that Why Can’t Us merchandise either. How dare someone capitalize on a catchphrase and give all the money to charity.

What you really need is some bootleg Why Can’t Us merch — a rubber duck, no less!

What would a World Series be without rallying cries and symbols? Past years gave us Rocktober, the Rally Monkey and Homer Hankies.

This year the Philadelphia Phillies have adopted a rubber duck and the slogan, “Why can’t us?”

Somebody from Radnor has 100 of these to sell, so, um, get ‘em while they’re hot.

Philadelphia Phillies Rubber Duck [eBay]