Harry’s Call Of Final Outs

Thanks to The 700 Level for finding somebody to dub Harry Kalas’ game-clinching call over the video. (Hurry and watch before MLB AM takes it down!) The dude shouting in the background is Larry Andersen.

First playoff game is Wednesday at 3 p.m. at CBP, against the Brewers.

Clap Your Hands Shea Yeah!

Yesterday, the Mets came into the final day of the season tied for a playoff spot for the second straight year. Again, all the Mets needed to do was beat the Florida Marlins on the last day of the season and the worst they’d do was a tiebreaker game.

Again, the Mets lost and will miss the playoffs. The team closed Shea Stadium with another September swoon, bumbling away a 3 1/2 game lead in September to the Phillies. Geeze, at least the Eagles made the NFC Championship before closing the Vet with a pathetic choke.

Yes, the Mets actually won one more game than they did last year. And, yes, it was amazing the Mets were in it this long with the injuries they had. And, yes, the Phillies went 17-8 in September to pass the Mets.

But, really: Ha, ha, hahahaha. Nice way to finish out the year, New York. It’s actually the first time a team has passed another team in September for the division in back-to-back seasons. The only similar occurrence was before divisional play: The Dodgers passed the Giants for the pennant in September in both 1965 and 1966, but it happened on Sept. 2 in the second year.

So, ah, congratulations, Mets fans, on your team’s unprecedented collapse in back-to-back seasons. Enjoy your consolation prize of Citigroup buying Wachovia!

Photo by JJWay2006 used under a Creative Commons License

Complain Here About How Much You Hate The CAPTCHA

I want to have something to print out when I go to my bosses with the suggestion, “Hey, how about we get rid of the CAPTCHA.” Right? Because the only good thing about it now is the audio version of the words is impossible to understand, therefore screwing over blind people. I’d like to see how the spam filter works without it, though I’m considering just having everyone register so I can harvest the information of Ron Paul’s supporters and sell it to the Illuminati.

So go ahead. Unless you like the CAPTCHA, in which case you can write that, too, but you really enjoy pain, don’t you?

Latrice Bryant’s New Tactic Even More Annoying

Yes, as expected, the Fox 29 are racist story just won’t die. And, as also expected, Latrice Bryant has issued an apology for holding up signs that also said “Jeff Cole KKK.”

It’s okay, though: She didn’t apologize to Jeff Cole, just to Wilson Goode (her boss at her $90K-a-year job) and other members of City Council: “I sincerely apologize to you, to City Council President Anna Verna, to all other City Council members and staffers… and especially to all residents and taxpayers of Philadelphia.” Ooh, does that count as Jeff Cole?

Anyway, now she’s going to do what she should have done in the first place, says her lawyer in another letter:

“I agree that my client’s reaction was inappropriate. I explained to her that the appropriate response would have been to do exactly what she later did. And that was to contact an attorney who could determine whether or not Fox29’s relentless paparazzi-like conduct… was libelous and slanderous, thereby warranting the filing of a defamation lawsuit.”

Woo-hoo! Maybe she can file the lawsuit from prison, where she will soon be along with the rest of Philadelphia’s residents.

Aide to Goode issues an apology [sic, kinda] [Inquirer]

Citigroup To Buy Wachovia

When the economy is in crisis the only one way our nation’s largest financial institutions can survive is to keep buying each other up ’til it passes. In a way, banks are drunken high school kids pairing off for awkward sex (i.e., mergers and acquisitions) on a camping trip. And Citigroup has laid eyes on the quiet brunette with the reputation for putting out: It will buy Wachovia’s banking operations. Make sure to use protection, Citi!

Citigroup will acquire Wachovia’s 200 locations in the Philadelphia area (the bank currently only has 23 around here). Everything else is kind of standard: A bunch of people in government whose job it is to lie to us told us that everything was okay, and praised each other for the great work in helping run our economy into the ground. Wachovia’s shares went way down in premarket trading (91 percent!), the bank was hurt my the mortgage crisis, etc. The usuals.

But forget all that financial stuff. We bloggers roll in so much cash we can sit out any financial crisis the world can offer. Let’s get to the real questions: Does this mean the Wachovia Center will pick up a new name come finalization of the deal? As an upside, the possibly-named Citi Center would maybe confuse out-of-town fans (since it’s not in Center City) and leave more room for Philly sports fans. But since the old building’s being knocked down anyway, why not just go back and call the place The Spectrum?

Update: Joseph DiStefano has more info about the possible change; since Wachovia isn’t being sold, just split up, it could remain the Wachovia Center. Whee!

Citigroup to buy Wachovia banking operations [AP/Philly.com]
Original Wachovia Center Photo by Jason Burmeister used under a Creative Commons License

Abridged Daily News Columnists

Editor’s Note from Dan and Garfield: I hate Mondays.

Stu Bykofsky: Boy, that presidential debate sure was pointless.

Phillies Playoff-Bound Again

Whoomp there it is, high hopes, team to beat and all that. The Phillies are NL East champions for the second straight year. The Phillies’ official website’s account provides the, um, details:

The Phillies emptied what seemed like a non-stop supply of Domaine St. Michelle champagne, supported by cases of beer. Players sprayed in all directions, but always found whoever happened to be on television at the time.

Seeking maximum soaking effect, bottles were often poured directly on the head.

Is this an instruction manual for celebratory champagne pouring? Whatever the case, it’s nice to have our baseball team in the playoffs again.

Paul Newman Not Done Yet

On the current Philly.com front:

Catch the hottest film next summer as Paul Newman stars in Cooler Hand Luke: Absolute Zero!

TV has a way of bringing stars back from the dead [Inquirer]
Paul Newman, 83, the Hollywood icon with the famous blue eyes [Inquirer]

Thanks, Jeff!

Sarah Palin’s Irish Pub Trip

Oh, yeah, so: The debate. Eh. I didn’t watch it. I don’t care. But, look, people protested Sarah Palin outside of Irish Pub! And Ed Snider was there, huntin’ moose! And.. ah… oh, that’s about it.

She also wore a Phillies jacket. Quoting The 700 Level: “Rumor has it her next stop is Flushing, New York to help support the Mets post season trip to nowhere.” Ha, ha, ha. Oh, sorry.

Anyway, here’s what

It’s great to be here in the city of brotherly and sisterly love.

As you may know, the word Philadelphia means City of Brotherly Love. Looks like Sarah Palin is using a bit of liberal political correct speech (that’s also, um, incorrect). Yep, if there’s one thing Republicans love, it’s inclusion and political correctness.

No word if Sarah Palin went home with a PUA named JaMMeR who negged her all night. You know, things like, “Hey baby, I hear that Biden guy is more experienced.” Oh, or maybe he told her a story about his friend going on Maury!

Palin Glad-Hands To Cheers In Pub As Protesters Jeer Outside [Fox 29]

Phillies Magic Number: 1!

Never. A. Doubt. Last night, our Fightin’ Phils clinched at least a tie for the the NL East title with an 8-4 victory over the Washington Nationals and a Mets’ loss to Florida. (Thanks, guys!) Ryan Howard hit a three-run homer and Chase Utley hit a bases-loaded double to life the Phils.

A win today at 4 pm over the Nats (on FOX) would give the Phillies a second straight division title. A Mets loss would do the same. So would a win or a Mets loss on Sunday.

The Phillies won 90 games for only the 12th time in their 126-year history. The Phils haven’t won consecutive division titles since the 1980 World Series win and the first half of the strike-shortened 1981 season. (The only other time the Philadelphia National League baseball club strung together division crowns was when it won three in a row from 76-78. The Phils have won the NL East eight times since baseball began divisional play in 1969.)

The Mets are now actually a game back in the Wild Card as well, as the Brewers won last night. Everything’s kind of going right for the Phillies right now; there’s even a dude on Arizona with more strikeouts than Ryan Howard. But if the Mets miss the playoffs! Ha, ha–Oh, let’s not count our eggs before they’re hatched (and all in one basket). Now go win a second straight division title, Phillies. For the first time in my life. Uncle Cholly, we never doubted you.