Steven Wells Pisses Off Everyone At Dunder Mifflin

Steven Wells hasn’t been the A&E editor at PW for a while now, but it’s good to see he’s continuing to get into mischief. In addition to calling my opinion “utter rubbish” in a recent Guardian piece (sweet!), Wells also recently took on the U.S. version of The Office.

He likes the British version better! That’s a perfectly fine argument; I probably still like the British version better, even though the U.S. one is great, too. (The British version is so much more depressing!) In his column, though, he included a little dig at the real town of good ol’ Scranton, Pennsylvania, the show’s location, calling it a “boring town.” That was, really, about it.

Cue The Times-Tribune, which fired back with a story Tuesday titled, “Hot Topic: British blogger says “Scranton is a boring, working class dump.” And, oh, man, is it good:

While most every visitor to our town has had nothing but nice things to say about us, this British blogger from The Guardian UK sees things a bit differently. Using a few words we can’t print here, the writer takes Scranton, our native sons (and daughters), and the American version of the show ‘The Office’ to task.

Warning: This article is not for the easily offended.

All of the controversial Scranton references are gone by the middle of the article, but the first few paragraphs are must reading for Scrantonians.

That apparently ran in the paper; the first mention was on the paper’s Office blog. Yes, of course the Scranton newspaper has an Office blog. It might as well be edited by Dwight (or maybe Mose) Schrute:

“I implore you to read the story, and to then share your reactions with Mr. Wells. Update: 5:29 p.m. — I failed to mention before that Mr. Wells wrote about the second “Office” Convention recently taking place in Scranton. No, Mr. Wells, that hasn’t happened yet. But when it does, you should come on over and have a firsthand look at our fair city. On second thought, maybe just stay put in merry ol’ England. We don’t need your bad vibes.”

It’s an international incident! There’s a three-page thread about the dis on a messageboard. But the comments on the Scranton newspaper story really do the story justice:

• Steven Wells hates Scranton because of its poor municipal services: “I agree. I lived in Scranton up until 3 years ago when I grew tired of paying the wage tax and receiving little to no public service in return. Scranton has become nothing but a ‘Boy’s Club’ for the mayor and his school buddies. Until the city is run by someone who wants to take care of all the people, instead of only their friends, you’re likely to see several more articles like this.”
• A veteran of the Revolutionary War: “This foreigner doesn’t know a darn of what hes talkin about. Those British are always looking down their noses at us hard working Americans while they sit on their daisies and sip tea. Get a grip… The ‘original office’ was funny, but the American version beats it out…. Kinda like the British Colonies were nice, but once we decided to kick the crap out of the redcoats and send them home, things got much better.”
• Wells is going after the lucrative Scranton book market (someone works at Rodale, maybe): “Steven Wells, a British writer who also provides commentary for the Philadelphia Weekly, is using the current Scranton exposure for his own personal use (he is writing several books that most likely will not get published). By getting bent out of shape over his comments we play right into this dimwits hands.”
• It begins: “The Britt is wrong. Scranton is a poverty stricken, welfare ridden, English is a second language dump!!! And yes, if someone paid me enough money to save some, I’d be out of here on the next train. Oh, wait, they couldn’t even get that to work either. “
• And quickly gets weird: “I talk with quite a few Brits on a voice chat program everyday. How many here in Pennsylvania are aware that Islam has forced it’s way of life upon numerous cities in the UK? If that’s not frightening enough, there have been many conversions and their influence has a broad anti American reach. Yes, anti American!”
• A guy with a 26 + 6 = 1 bumper sticker: “Who cares what some dope in England with a blog thinks about Scranton? Its not like it was the Prime Minister or anything, just some goy with a blog. Big deal. As an Irish-American, I couldn’t care less what any Brit thinks anyways.
• And, finally: “If Scranton is such a dump- why do thousands come from out of town every year to attend the parade every year in March?”

Hmm? When are you going to answer that question, Mr. Wells!