Abridged Daily News Columnists

John Baer: The presidential race is suddenly serious and is going to be decided on the issues this year. Oh, John Baer, you’re such a kidder!

Deborah Leavy: Polls are overrated, but not because it’s still September! No, here’s why: “AND DON’T forget about the other candidates: independent Ralph Nader, Libertarian Bob Barr, and the Green Party’s Cynthia McKinney.” Yes, Cynthia McKinney is going to toss the race in, uhm, somebody’s direction. And how curious of Leavy to leave out the guy Ron Paul endorsed!

Ronnie Polaneczky: Um, apparently donors to animal shelters have their identities protected, and that’s a stupid rule, she says. Oh, hmm, it’s not a rule at all, it was just some employee who screwed up! Wait, what?

Elmer Smith: # of racists who won’t vote for Obama < # of racists needed to swing election. (First ever abridged Daily News column expressed as an inequality?)