Larry Mendte > Oedipus

So this Larry Mendte/Alicia Lane thing. How could that ever get boring, right? Well, I mean, if someone were to write an epic column about the two, making grandiose statements about the level of tragedy involved and then chiding one while letting the other off the hook… well that could make the whole thing just tedious. Good thing that hasn’t happened yet.

What’s that?

The Anchor War - with ruined careers, snarled accusations and court appearances - defines “tragedy,” the downfall of characters because of their own flaws.
In TV-land, egos are as big as the moon and fragile as butterfly wings. Made-up faces mask massive insecurity about receiving bloated salaries for looking good and being able to read out loud. The celebrity status can evaporate when ratings dip, or when a new GM comes in and yearns to put his or her stamp on the station.

You know what, Stu is right about these tragic figures. Mendte is like Sisyphus, doomed to pushing a giant KeyKatcher up a mountain for eternity. Lane, of course, is Oedipus’ mom. Because Oedipus’ mom was probably a MILF.
Stu Bykofsky: Mendte & Lane: Behind the Anchor War [Daily News]

D-Mac on Vacation

Oh, hello. You must be looking for D-Mac. He’s taking a little time off. My name is Mike Benner and I’ll be covering for him this week. I used to be a writer and newspaper reporter in Philadelphia–you may remember the work I published under my pen name, Stu Bykofsky. I left town a few months ago to move to LA, where I am fast becoming one of the best failed screenwriters. I blog over here if you’re interested in looking at random photos and reading complaints about NBC’s Today Show.

Or just stay here and read my attempts to fill McQuade’s shoes.

Larry Mendte Didn’t Need To Get Alycia Lane’s Bikini Photos, Apparently

Holy shit. Larry Mendte’s statement. This story finally got interesting again.

Let me explain. This whole episode started five years ago when Alycia Lane came to Philadelphia. Almost immediately, Dawn heard rumors that Alycia and I were a little too close and she should watch out.

The rumors were true. Alycia and I had a flirtatious, unprofessional, and improper relationship.

Dawn found proof of that relationship when she waited in my office on New Years Day 2005 and read emails that I had left out on my desk, emails between Alycia and me that confirmed her suspicions.

Dawn confronted me with the emails. I told her the truth. I told her I loved her, and I apologized. I then immediately stopped having long dinners with Alycia, staying out late with Alycia, and I stopped allowing her to come into my office to do her makeup everyday.

The relationship that was once close quickly turned into a personal feud.

Alycia Lane then became friends with others in the building, including the new General Manager. Suddenly, I had shows and responsibilities pulled away from me without explanation. The GM angrily confronted me one day and said that I was bad mouthing him. I was not. But, clearly, I was not on the list you want to be on with the new GM.

I found proof that it was Alycia who was undermining me when I saw an email she sent to management that she left up on the computer she uses on the set.

Then he goes on and on about how keylogger programs are available “too easily” on the Internet (sigh) and how he’s going to become a lecturer on how scary the Internet is. But, really, whatever, this first part is the best.

John comments: “I think the new Philly pickup line should be ‘Do you want to come to my office and do your makeup?’” I agree.

Statement of Larry Mendte [Philly.com]

Ninja Warriors Fail In Plan To Fight Weed

There is more news today about the two kids who dressed up as ninjas in an attempt to stop drug users. The pair — clearly future DARE officers — say they were just attempting to deliver a few anti-drug missives to an ex-girlfriend and her friends.

But — whoops! — at the first house they went to, they caught the eye of the cops, probably because they were dressed up as “Shinobi warriors” from an old Sega Genesis game. (Maybe they should have dressed up like Sonic the Hedgehog or John Madden instead.) Then one of the ninjas talked to the Newark Star-Ledger and things got awesome:

Pertkiewicz was released from jail yesterday on $20,000 bail. He faces weapons charges and a charge of harassment for targeting the home of his ex-girlfriend, a charge he flatly denies.

“I want to be very clear, there was no intent of harassment at all,” said Pertkiewicz, a Bergen Community College anthropology student and volunteer karate instructor for Clifton children. “It’s not because she was my ex-girlfriend; it was because of what she was doing.” He said she was allowing others to use her home to smoke pot.

The letters stated “Shinobi will stop your cruel and sadistic intentions with justified, yet merciful force.” The correspondence accused pot smokers and drug dealers of having “committed sin of passing impurity” to others. It also said the “wind guides us to those of impure heart and intent.”

But Trojaniak, a self-taught martial artist, said they never intended to physically harm the letter recipients, including one purported drug dealer on the list to receive a letter. He said the pair had considered throwing smoke bombs into the dealer’s home and calling emergency workers who would later discover the drugs.

Ha ha, a “self-taught” “martial artist.” Who was going to stop people from smoking pot! I’d make the joke that maybe these kids need a bong hit or two to calm down, but I think injecting some methamphetamine would calm these kids down instead.

Oh, the article also notes the details for the smoke bombs came from a YouTube video. That’s the place where all ninja warriors learn to fight drugs.

Plan goes awry for anti-drug ‘ninjas’ [The Star-Ledger]

Larry Mendte Pleads Guilty

Dun dun dun! As you may have heard, this morning Larry Mendte pled guilty to one count of illegally accessing email. Dun dun dun!

Mendte had no comment as he emerged from the courtroom, but his wife, Fox29 anchor Dawn Stensland, said, “I love my husband, and he’s a good man.” During the 35-minute proceeding, Assistant U.S. Attorney Michael Levy recounted the government’s evidence and said that Mendte hacked into Lane’s email accounts more than 500 times between January and May of this year.

“To your knowledge, is everything he said accurate and correct?” asked McLaughlin. “Yes,” replied Mendte, who was in court with his defense attorney Michael Schwartz.

Mendte told the judge that he was “a little nervous, your honor, but I feel okay” as she sought to make sure that Mendte wanted to plead guilty and was legally competent to do so. He said that he has “seen a therapist since this happened” and has been prescribed Ativan but rarely takes it.

Larry Mendte is on benzos! (Lorazepam, better known by the brand name Atvian, is a benzodiazepine — a downer, if you want to get less technical.) Mendte on benzos is totally not going to be able to hack into anybody’s email accounts. Let’s just hope he’s not “rarely” taking it because he’s trading it on the black market for email address passwords.

Mendte pleads guilty [Inquirer]

Abridged Daily News Columnists

Christine Flowers: Christine Flowers’ abortion columns are just as annoying as her other ones. Shocking, I know.

Elmer Smith: Boy, reforming DHS would be a good idea.

Jill Porter: Yes, Jill Porter is very angry Larry Mendte won’t be going to jail. Hence the problem with any sort of prison reform in this country, since we just love locking up people.

This column also includes seven rhetorical questions in eight sentences at one point. This is kind of a feel-good column, though, because it reminds me I’m not the kind of person who would feel better if a TV anchor who spied on his coworker’s email went to prison for several months.

Leftovers: Chase Utley No Longer Only Person On Phillies With Blank Expression

• Turns out Chris Coste switched to a blank red catching mask because his old nice-looking one violated some new MLB rule due to a league agreement with another equipment manufacturer. Coste called the rule “asinine.” [High Cheese]

• The new SEPTA trains will soon be on their way! And by soon, I mean not so soon. (Note: This article features a bonus random Carrie Underwood reference.) [Inquirer]

• The question must be asked: What did the governor know, and when did he know it? About his lieutenant governor’s cancer treatments, that is. Although Catherine Baker Knoll is sick, she’s upbeat and in good spirits. [KYW 1060]

• From the front page of Phillyburbs right now, presumably from an AP story: “Barack Obama says he’s decided on a running mate, but he won’t say who. The Democratic presidential candidate told USA Today on Thursday that he went with someone who is independent and would challenge him in the White House. He also said he wanted someone who is prepared to be president and would help him strengthen the economy.” If you tried, you could probably come up with more meaningless qualifications (”I want someone with at least one x chromosome who has political experience!”) but it would be tough. Here’s the full story, which is (right now) three paragraphs long. [AP/Phillyburbs]

• Comcast is testing a new bandwidth-limiting tool, “an experimental method for managing the Internet [that] could slow speeds for all heavy online users for 10 to 20 minutes.” So instead of just punishing users of the bittorrent protocol, it will punish all users? Oh, goodie. [Inquirer]

Foxwoods To ‘Consider’ Other Sites!

Speaking of things that have been going on for enternity: The casinos! Yes, two casinos are slated to open on the waterfront (one in Fishtown, one in Pennsport); they’ve been delayed by neighbors and politicians who realized they can use the casino issue to score political points. Fair enough.

Today, Foxwoods (the Pennsport one) has announced it is “considering” additional locations. With that comes the thinking that this whole thing could be slowed down… even… more.

Foxwoods and SugarHouse, another casino proposed for the Delaware riverfront, were awarded gaming licenses by the state in December 2006 but have run into a series of snags with the city government, state officials, neighborhood groups and anti-gaming protesters. Three other investment groups applied to the state Gaming Control Board for the two casino licenses in the city but were rejected. The decisions were based on the proposed locations, which prompted reporters to ask if the rejected casino applicants might now sue the state. “Anybody can sue anybody for anything,” said Rendell.

More lawsuits, more delays… remember when we were all going to get wage tax reductions by, like, 2006? Whoops.

Also, if you believe that Foxwoods and SugarHouse haven’t already extensively researched possible alternate casino sites in Philadelphia… well, just don’t believe that, okay?

Correction: A reader astutely emails, “Like gaming or hate it, the casinos that are operating have ALREADY contributed enough to knock the Wage Tax down by about a quarter point so as of July 1, 2008 the Wage Tax (once as high as 4.96% for residents) is now 3.98%… and it will go even lower based on already legislated city cuts and could go even lower still if gaming revenues increase.” I’m never making a wage tax joke again.

BREAKING NEWS: Foxwoods Looking At New Casino Locations [Clout]
Photo by Lisa Andres, Creative Commons license

Convention Ctr. Expansion Going As Expected

When I interned on the 15th floor of a big office building in Center City years back, we used to eat lunch on the steps of the Gallery at Ninth and Market. Every day, we’d stare out at the Disney hole and marvel at its beauty. Now that the hole has been demolished in favor of a surface parking lot, something’s been missing from Center City.

But never fear! As these webcam photos show, there is a new, bigger Disney Hole-esque plot in Center City: The Convention Center expansion! Yes, the buildings have been down for a little bit now, but it wasn’t ’til today that I realized the possibility for this thing to drag on and on and on and on until the Narcotics Anonymous convention isn’t coming anymore.

Here’s today’s good news:

The Pennsylvania Convention Center Authority has opened the bids for the most expensive phase of the center’s expansion, and a Delaware Valley-based joint venture — the same joint venture that won the phase-one contract with a bid 20 percent over budget — is the apparent low bidder.

Yeah, I know it seems like all that means is the convention center’s going to be over budget, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Photo by It’s Our City, Creative Commons license

Ninjas Target Drug Users, Are Arrested

Police in New Jersey arrested two ninjas yesterday; the men (arrested in Clifton) said they were on a mission to tell drug dealers and users to stop, lest they suffer harm.

Guys, I know you’ve heard my column is coming back off hiatus soon, but this really isn’t the best way to handle it.

Calling themselves “Shinobi warriors,” the men wore black SWAT-type vests and carried knives, throwing stars, swords, nunchucks and a bow and arrows.

After being arrested early Wednesday in a car on Route 46, the men said they were delivering warning letters to drug dealers and drug users urging them to stop their “impure” activities.

The letters said those who persisted would be stopped with “justified yet, merciful force.

I have to imagine these two are part of the government’s new plan to fight the drug war with ninjas. Pretty soon the DEA will move on to other internet favorites and fight it with pirates and LOLcats.

Also, the headline on the story is awesome: N.J. men with Asian weapons claimed to target drugs.

Photo by R’eyes, Creative Commons license