Aug26 |
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Breaking: Prince Chunk Has Beautiful Teeth
So… what’s this cat everyone is talking about? Inky writer Dan Lieberman (apparently the fat feline beat writer) claims Prince Chunk is a national celebrity, and sources are making claims that the thing is stalked by paparazzi. How have I not heard of this thing yet? Well, after reading this article about the Greatest Cat Ever™, I have learned a few things: 1. This ten-year-old cat has the teeth of a seven-year-old. 2. Seriously, it has beautiful teeth. They mentioned it like four times. 3. Human beings are assholes: 500 people applied to adopt Prince Chunk, but when they were told other animals needed homes too, most just said, “Fuck you, I want Chunk!” 4. Prince Chunk hates Mondays, but loves lasagna. 5. The national standard for celebrity status has been seriously lowered over the past few years. Super Chunk! Pretty kitty nearly purr-fect [Inquirer] |
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