Watermelon Finally Makes ‘WSJ’ Front Page

The Wall Street Journal today ran the above hedcut on this story about the number of resolutions Congress has passed. And you thought Murdoch was going to ruin the WSJ!

In an actual true story of leaders fiddling while Rome burns, this Congress has passed the fewest number of laws in the 20 years of record keeping; it has, however, passed the most number of resolutions honoring the New York Giants or recognizing soil as an “essential natural resource.” (Really!) Some may find this a bad idea, but it would seem to me the fewer number of laws Congress passes, the less chance it has to screw up.

But, really, who would have thought it’d be the Democratic Congress that’s passing fewer laws?

Republican Sen. Saxby Chambliss, whose home state of Georgia has 24,000 acres planted in watermelon, pushed a resolution establishing July as National Watermelon Month. “As Mark Twain once said, ‘When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.’ I encourage my colleagues to join me in acknowledging the wisdom of Mark Twain by supporting this resolution,” Sen. Chambliss said on the Senate floor. The only problem: July is about 14 days late for a Watermelon Month. The crops come in in mid June.

There was also a big resolution about baseball, apparently.

Occasionally, resolutions stir debate that veers close to substance. In late June, House members gathered on the floor to debate a resolution establishing Pittsfield, Mass., once and for all, as home to the earliest known reference to the word “baseball.”

Democratic Rep. John Olver of Massachusetts, the bill’s author, rose to stake Pittsfield’s claim, based on the recent discovery of a 1791 Pittsfield law banning “Wicket, Cricket, Baseball, Football, Cat, Fives or any other game or games with balls” near the town’s new meetinghouse.

“Even back in 1791, youths were already breaking windows playing America’s favorite national pastime,” Rep. Olver said. “With that, the first mention of baseball was penned into history.”

Rep. Virginia Foxx, Republican of North Carolina whose resolution recognizing America’s Christmas-tree industry remains mired in committee, said that “the origins of baseball [have] been the subject of debate and controversy.” Yet she agreed that the “Broken Window Bylaw” gave Pittsfield the honor.

Now if Congress can just pass a resolution honoring Stockbridge, Mass., as the home of James Taylor, Western Massachusetts will be totally set!

Republican Rep. John Boehner of Ohio also explains to the WSJ how he understands how economics work: “Resolutions are fine but why aren’t we also passing legislation to lower gas prices?”

As U.S. Economic Problems Loom, House, Senate Sweat the Small Stuff [WSJ]