Washington Pot Party

Hey, look at that! Right on the front page of CNN.com, a big story about decriminalizing marijuana at the federal level. I wrote a column about this a while back.

Update: Hey, look, the government sent three people to the presser to complain!

Fox Beats Philly.com To The Punch

On Fox 29’s front page not only is there a story about the abnormally large cat, there is interactivity. And there will soon be many more abnormally large cats, one can assume.

Earlier: Fat Cat Biggest Story Locally Yesterday
Thanks, Joe

Manny Being Philly?

Every year, Manny Ramirez says he’s tired of playing for the Boston Red Sox, and every year the hometown TV station of the Sox (ESPN) treats it as if the Holy Ghost were divorcing God and Jesus.

It took a while for things to get rolling this year, but now we’re in full Manny-leaving-the-Red Sox watch. This year, as usual, all the reporters say this is the year the Sox will finally trade Ramirez. SI.com’s Jon Heyman reports it’s down to the Phillies and the Marlins in the Man-Ram trade sweepstakes.

The Phillies have downplayed the possibility of acquiring Ramirez in media reports but haven’t ruled it out entirely. If outfielder Pat Burrell isn’t involved in the trade, one question would be whether Ramirez or Burrell could play right field for Philadelphia.

An early version of the story suggested the Phils could swap Burrell for Ramirez, straight-up, free agent-to-be for free agent-to-be. (Ramirez has two option years left on his contract, but Heyman writes he would likely want those to be dropped if he were to be traded.) Seems like a strange idea — and one that could backfire. A trade making the Phillies’ outfield the worst defensive OF in history but a lineup of Rollins-Utley-Howard-Ramirez-Burrell would be absolutely outofsight.

In closing: Ramirez won’t be traded (as usual).

Update: Ken Rosenthal with the hilarious trade:

The Phillies might take Ramirez, major-league sources say, but only if the deal were a “giveaway” — say, outfielder Geoff Jenkins and a fringe prospect. The Red Sox could not make such a deal without hurting their team unless they acquired a slugger such as the Pirates’ Jason Bay or Reds’ Adam Dunn in a separate trade.

He also writes the Mets have the best shot. Oh, goodie.

Marlins join Phillies atop Manny sweepstakes [SI.com]

Other Cities’ Yelp Members Much Worse

Art from Foobooz sent this over a while ago, but I misplaced the link ’til now. According to the San Francisco Chronicle, restaurant owners in the Bay Area are upset over patrons demanding free food in exchange for good reviews on Yelp.

Yes, that’s right: People are blackmailing restaurants into giving them free shit. If the restaurants don’t comply, they’re threatened with a bad review on Yelp. Truly, we have entered into the final days. From an email from a restaurateur:

Customers have begun threatening to ‘Yelp’ the restaurant if their demands are not met. Cafe Rouge experienced this phenomenon twice within the past month when comps were demanded with the threat that a harsh review would follow on the Yelp website if we didn’t comply. The expectation of how much to comp is also at issue, where a glass of wine, an appetizer or dessert no longer suffices. People do follow through on their threats as we have witnessed. When most restaurants are struggling to pay the bills in a recession economy, bad publicity is the last thing we want to see. On the other hand, comping lavishly in response to overt threats affects the bottom line.

Hmm, I wonder if I could go into local restaurants and drop the words, “Philadelphia Will Do.” It would be awesome.

More »

A Dept. Store Return To Normalcy

Also, the story that goes along with this all-important poll has a super-awesome serious lead:

Most shelves were full yesterday at Boscov’s in Plymouth Meeting Mall, but the scene of normalcy concealed the turbulence rattling the region’s only surviving family-owned department store chain.

The Inquirer asks, “Will Boscov’s survive?” But the real question is: Boscov’s is still around? Heh. I had no idea.

Boscov’s sails into retail turbulence [Inquirer]

Abridged Daily News Columnists

Jill Porter: Jill Porter’s mom moved into a retirement home and now she plays Sudoku with Will Shortz.

Fat Cat Biggest Story Locally Yesterday

You had to know the fat New Jersey cat was going to end up as the main story on Philly.com at some point. (This was from yesterday.) If this cat was homeless and lived in Rittenhouse Square, though, the Inquirer would be calling for it to be executed.

Thanks, John

Obama May Be All Over Pennsylvania…

A fancier sign, indeed, but the Obama camp knows the importance of placing its sign below Philadelphia Weekly’s. I hope The Hopemonger stops by himself so I can try to pitch him on my “I did blow with Barack Obama and all I got was arrested” t-shirt idea.

Related: Obama ahead in local Pa. campaign offices [Inquirer]

Sal Fasano Is Not Happy With Himself

“A disappointment,” he says glumly. “My career has been a really big disappointment.”

Back when Sal Fasano played in Philadelphia, the career .220 hitter had his own fan club, was cheered for being Italian and having a mustache and eventually got traded to the freaking Yankees. Apparently he’s still not content with that success; this over-dramatic Reader’s Digest article details how sad Sal Fasano is!

Despite steroids not being against the rules of major league baseball until like 2005 — and probably somewhat legally obtainable with a helpful doctor — Sal Fasano decided not to do them. Whoops! He never got any big free agent deals and now he still has to play baseball for a living at 36. Also, check our how this article ends:

Those who opted to turn to performance-enhancing drugs may well drive Mercedeses and BMWs, may well live in luxurious homes, may well boast gaudy career statistics that elicit oohs and aahs from adoring fans.

But Sal Fasano, 36 and tired, is blessed with something a thousand times greater. He is a ballplayer. A real ballplayer.

That ending was so annoying it made me want to do some steroids.

A Baseball Career Without Steroids [Reader's Digest via Walkoff Walk]

Why Eagles Training Camp Sucks

Every year in late July, a group of millionaires known collectively as the Philadelphia Eagles head up the Northeast Extension in their giant custom SUVs, hyperbaric chambers strapped to the top. The destination: Lehigh University, in Bethlehem, Pa., birthplace of Jesus and home of Eagles training camp. Well, actually, it’s Lehigh’s “Murray H. Goodman Campus,” which is like 40 towns over from where all the academic buildings are.

Almost every year, the mood going into training camp is kind of sour. A player or two is holding out (this year, it’s Shawn Andrews for unknown personal reasons) and a bunch of players are unhappy with their contracts even though they’re not holding out.

The only reports from training camp that grab anyone’s attention are injuries; there’s not much fan interest in who’s going to end up the right gunner on punt coverage and there’s really not that much writers can do besides describe the day’s big hits over and over.

The only good news out of camp is, then, silence. But, no: Tons of players get hurt every year at camp. Victor Abiamiri has a broken hand, free agent signing Asante Samuel has a strained hamstring and Chris Clemons had to be rushed to the hospital today.

I scream at the TV screen whenever Charlie Manuel bunts with a perfectly good hitter in a stupid spot in May. By August, I can barely handle them. I can’t take six weeks of training camp injury reports with the only real news being updates on the “important” fullback battle. Oh, boy! Another whole month of this.

Image by texas_mustang, Creative Commons license