Philadelphia Will Do  

Sal Fasano Is Not Happy With Himself


“A disappointment,” he says glumly. “My career has been a really big disappointment.”

Back when Sal Fasano played in Philadelphia, the career .220 hitter had his own fan club, was cheered for being Italian and having a mustache and eventually got traded to the freaking Yankees. Apparently he’s still not content with that success; this over-dramatic Reader’s Digest article details how sad Sal Fasano is!

Despite steroids not being against the rules of major league baseball until like 2005 — and probably somewhat legally obtainable with a helpful doctor — Sal Fasano decided not to do them. Whoops! He never got any big free agent deals and now he still has to play baseball for a living at 36. Also, check our how this article ends:

Those who opted to turn to performance-enhancing drugs may well drive Mercedeses and BMWs, may well live in luxurious homes, may well boast gaudy career statistics that elicit oohs and aahs from adoring fans.

But Sal Fasano, 36 and tired, is blessed with something a thousand times greater. He is a ballplayer. A real ballplayer.

That ending was so annoying it made me want to do some steroids.

A Baseball Career Without Steroids [Reader's Digest via Walkoff Walk]

  1. Tracer Bullet Says: Jul 29 3:14 PM

    The minimum Major League salary for 2008 is $390,000. I guarantee Sal is owns a Mercedes, along with a boat and a house or three, despite his mediocre batting average.

  2. futuremrsrickankiel Says: Jul 29 3:27 PM

    HAHA. Excellent post. A REAL ballplayer, indeed. What about Ken Griffey Jr.? What about Justin Morneau? What about, like, the majority of pro athletes? Oh, they hit TOO MANY HOME RUNS. That shit’s, you know, GAUDY.

    The really offensive part of this article is the underlying insinuation that anyone who’s got legitimate major-league talent must have cheated. ARGH I’M ALL STEAMED UP NOW

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