Philadelphia Will Do  
 

Jun

30

Tyson Homosexual Goes For The Gold

063008tysongay.jpg

With a strong tailwind — 9.1 miles per hour — Tyson Gay ran an incredible 9.68 in the finals of the 100 meters at the Olympic trials over the weekend.

In an unrelated story, the American Family Association — a Christian group more concerned with hating gays than loving their neighbor — recently launched a news outlet, OneNewsNow, and directed editors to replace all instances of the word “gay” with “homosexual.” (I have no idea why.) And, naturally, the website ran a story on the wind-aided fastest time ever:

Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has.

His time of 9.68 seconds at the U.S. Olympic trials Sunday doesn’t count as a world record, because it was run with the help of a too-strong tailwind. Here’s what does matter: Homosexual qualified for his first Summer Games team and served notice he’s certainly someone to watch in Beijing.

“It means a lot to me,” the 25-year-old Homosexual said. “I’m glad my body could do it, because now I know I have it in me.” [...] After the race, Homosexual and Dix looked at each other and slapped palms, then hugged.

The story’s since been fixed, but Google News has preserved the headline: “Homosexual runs wind-aided 9.68 seconds to make Olympics.”

AFA’s search/replace function works perfectly [Dispatches from the Culture Wars]
 
dmac | 10:51 AM | 2 Comments
2008 Olympics, Hilarity, Olympic Trails, Search/Replace, Tyson Gay, Tyson Homosexual
 
  1. bill cloud Says: Jul 2 9:39 AM

    Christianity left Jesus in the dust centuries ago. Love got buried in the desperate quest for power and riches. Women were sqeezed out of direct contact with whatever deity, and made into breeding animals to produce an ever expanding army of god. Homosexuals were denied any status in religions, including the Church of Nazi. The church’s Natural Order of Things setting in motion a hierarchy of males at the pinnacle of power over women and livestock.

  2. bill cloud Says: Jul 2 9:39 AM

    Christianity left Jesus in the dust centuries ago. Love got buried in the desperate quest for power and riches. Women were sqeezed out of direct contact with whatever deity, and made into breeding animals to produce an ever expanding army of god. Homosexuals were denied any status in religions, including the Church of Nazi. The church’s Natural Order of Things setting in motion a hierarchy of males at the pinnacle of power over women and livestock.

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