Philadelphia Will Do  
 

Jun

16

Scan Your Arm, Buy Some Wine

061608winekiosk.jpg

The Inquirer asked wine lovers what they thought of the LCB’s forthcoming supermarket wine kiosks. Not surprisingly, these oenophiles — I spelled it right the first time! — are not happy with Pennsylvania’s plans.

Wait, what? No, really: The subhead says wine lovers are “appalled.” And here is some evidence:

Randy Torban of ClassicWines.com, a Pennsylvania-based Internet clearinghouse for learning about and buying wine, put it this way: “When people buy their wine, they expect a small touch of class to be involved. You don’t get that from a machine.” [...]

“It’s silly, and it’s gimmicky,” said Daniel Donahoe, a former wine and spirits retailer who now produces wines in California’s Sonoma County.

These guys know this idea is for Pennsylvania, right? Nobody’s wondering if the sometimes surly, sometimes chipper woman selling us wine and occasionally checking our ID is going to recommend something better than the Yellow Tail we just grabbed off the rack when we’re late for a party.

But no matter. The Inquirer acquired one of the wine kiosk proposals, which would include “opaque windows [that] would prevent minors from viewing the bottles.” Oh, and you’d have to give away your DNA in order to buy from the vending machine:

To use the machines, customers would have to register at the supermarket with the help of a Liquor Control Board employee. The registration would include providing fingerprints and a valid credit card, and allowing an infrared arm scan.

After that, users could go to any machine and place their arm and hand on a sensor. Once their identity was verified and the machine determined they were not intoxicated, the glass would clear and they could make their selection, which would arrive in a sealed package.

Oh, yes, I am expecting Pennsylvania’s residents to eagerly line up to have their arms scanned so they can buy wine at the same place they buy milk. Actually, this could be a pretty good test to see what people will put up with in order to buy alcohol.

Convenience, LCB-style Editor’s Note: ERROR. DIVIDE BY ZERO. [Inquirer]
 
dmac | 2:31 PM | 4 Comments
LCB, Oenophiles, PA LCB, Robots, Wine, Wine-Selling Kiosks
 
  1. Dark Horse John Says: Jun 16 2:33 PM

    “When people buy their wine, they expect a small touch of class to be involved…”

    You know, I don’t say this often, but if you actually think or worse say this, you are a disgrace to your species.

    You’re not fucking your debutante trophy wife on your boat off St. Bart, you’re buying a bottle of wine. It’s a business transaction. If you “expect a touch of class” when you go to a convenience store to purchase a container of full of liqud, please die in a fire.

    However, D-Mac is right, the robotic kiosk is a startlingly bad idea.

  2. friendlynerd Says: Jun 16 2:43 PM

    I will only sign up it if sells me wine in a box.

  3. section 34 Says: Jun 16 5:16 PM

    I don’t know how the Inquirer missed this point: 12 choices? That’s all? There are gas stations in other states that have more wine options than that. And you know those 12 choices are going to include a crappy White Zinfandel. If the PLCB is going to sell wine in supermarkets, why don’t they just put it on the shelves like almost every other state allows?

  4. open minded Says: Nov 19 12:01 AM

    I look forward to ths. Nothing against it. how many kinds of sodas in a coke machine. It’s the convenience of having some wine in those BYOB restaurants. No different than the movie “minority report” Too many identities stolen. Need somrthing to make it secure. Im open for it and see where this goes, besides there are other potential product to go in such machines such as tobacco,pres. drugs,gas,lottery,airlines and so on.Who ever has this patent should do well in the future. You all have a great day.

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