‘Bonnie’ Back In Town, Naturally

Philadelphia favorite Jocelyn Kirsch is in the news again, and this time, it’s actually for a reason, and not just another media outlet’s long take on the story.

No, Kirsch faced accusations she stole a credit card in California; she’s allowed to head home (but she can’t leave it!) while waiting to make her guilty plea for all the original identity theft back here in Philly on June 5.

‘Bonnie’ accused of stealing credit card [Inquirer]

Shop Selling (Gasp) Sex Toys

NBC 10 also spent a few minutes early in its 6 p.m. newscast last night to cover a “scandalous sex shop” in West Chester. Apparently, there’s a store with lingerie that has sex toys in the back, and people are not happy because it’s near an ice cream shop, a pizza place and a school.

“I think anytime you take something like that — something involving human sexuality and pervert it — that’s wrong,” the Rev. Edward Deliman told NBC 10. The “sexologist” is unbowed, ready and willing to fight for her shop’s right to sell vibrators. Redlasso video after the jump.

More »

Odds & Ends

• Congratulations, Internet! You got a Dunkin Donuts ad pulled because Rachel Ray’s scarf was the same color as Arafat’s. Democracy is doomed. [Reason]

• Hey, here’s visual evidence of local celebrity (”celebrity”) photographer Hugh Dillon getting pushed by Jennifer Aniston’s bodyguard or whoever. Ha ha, hooray for random violence. Everyone loves random violence!

• Oh, then there’s this, also taken by Hugh:

Ahh, we may never really call it anything but the Franklin Institute, but at least the PR people behind the new PR campaign for “the Franklin” put a giant question mark in the sky, no doubt confusing clueless Philadelphians into thinking it was the end of the world or something. We need to start putting more punctuation on the Cira Center, STAT. Get me an interrobang!

• Over on the Skyline, a reader sends in a photo of the ridiculous rainbow in Philadelphia over the weekend. [Phillyskyline]

• And, in non-photographic news, here is a line the Inquirer has deemed one of the greatest of the century so far: “For Greg [Luzinski] to hit an inside-the-park home run, the three outfielders would have to collide and burst into flames.” No way is that better than “Who let the dogs out?” [Inquirer]

• Oh, and Pennsylvania is the choice of four out of five post-apocalyptic filmmakers. [The Plank]

NBC 10 Eliminates Town’s Fire Co.

Way back in 2004, NBC 10 (”The Investigators!”) broadcast a report alleging that firefighters in Colwyn, Delaware County, were operating an illegal bar, and the mayor and others were going there. Colwyn is a dry town, and Lu Ann Cahn actually said this, “Are you all above the law?” OMG IRL drama.

Then for some reason earlier this month all of Colwyn’s firefighers resigned at once. Cops also raided the “speakeasy” and killed seven members of the Hogan gang, as well as confiscating illegal video poker machines and alcohol.

Then last night the town council ended its relationship with the fire company. The head of the Colwyn Fire Co. was dramatic: “God, heaven forbid, someone gets hurt or really killed. Then it’s really going to hit the fan.” And this is also pretty much the best government plan ever:

Colwyn borough officials said the borough would have fire protection from surrounding Darby and Collingdale until they can re-open a fire company with a core of volunteer firefighters who didn’t go to the firehouse bar.

So thanks to your local media, residents of Colwyn, Pa., you no longer have a fire company. Be sure to thank NBC 10 for the service.

Speakeasy Sports Bar What You Expected

Can we sum up this new sports bar in the old Zanzibar Blue spot in one sentence? Why, yes, yes we can. Suzy on JL Sullivan’s Speakeasy: “I kind of saw it as a university of sorts if McFadden’s was the high school.”

Excellent: Explaining the bar in just one sentence. She adds, “Not that this is a bad thing,” but I think we all know how we personally feel about McFadden’s.

Spreading the word about Philly’s new “Speakeasy” despite their deep affection for mass produced witbiers [I'll Have Another Stout]

Boy Scouts Sue City

The Boy Scouts have sued the city for attempting to kick the local council out of its building near the Parkway. For the uninitiated: Those who do their duty to do their best to God and their country also don’t allow gays to do any of that in their little club, so the city decided it was kicking the Cradle of Liberty Council out of its 22nd and Winter building (which the city leases to the Scouts for one dollar a year.)

The Scouts’ lawsuit says the city leases property to about 100 groups with membership criteria for under $2,000 a year, without any attempt to kick them out of their properties.

The lawsuit mentions the Roman Catholic Church of the Maternity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, which the suit says has paid a nominal rent for a church building in Pennypack Park since 1935; Zion Baptist Church, which pays $25 a year to lease three parcels of recreational land for the Clara Baldwin Home for seniors; and Women for Greater Philadelphia and the Colonial Dames of America, which have free perpetual leases for historic mansions in Fairmount Park. “This city allows numerous organizations to use city-owned property and does not necessarily refuse them based on restrictions on membership,” said Center City lawyer Jason P. Gosselin, who filed the suit on behalf of the Cradle of Liberty Council.

City Solicitor Shelley R. Smith said she believes the difference between the Boy Scouts and the other groups that lease city land or buildings is that the other groups do not discriminate in the social services they provide. Smith said you cannot be a Boy Scout if you are openly gay or an atheist: “If we find that these other groups are doing that, we will take the appropriate action.”

You got that, atheists? You gotta get down to the courthouse and file all your complaints against the Colonial Dames of America.

In related news, Congress is having a fundraiser for the Boy Scouts. Up to $3.5 million! Update: And Ron Paul voted for the bill. He secretly loves the federal reserve!

Boy Scouts sue city in building dispute [Inquirer]

‘Inquirer’ Getting Hang Of This ‘Internet’

Today, the Inquirer’s Karen Heller writes a column clearly not intended for my demographic. It’s about how Facebook, um, exists, and kids use it more than adults. (GG on Karen Heller: “It’s almost too easy to make fun of because she doesn’t really make a coherent argument most of the time…. I feel like she probably has a lot of devoted middle-aged women readers though.” Just like Philadelphia Will Do!)

Her point at the end of this column appears to be: “Now, we’ve entered into a whole new world of Facedroppers, people who will tell you they have so many more friends than you do.” I really don’t know anyone who cares about their number of Facebook friends; perhaps “Google Analytics Analysts” bragging about their blog’s traffic would have fit better here. There’s also this:

Facebook turns out to be as slow as America Onhold once was.

Now let’s all add Karen Heller on Facebook now. Her and I already have eight mutual friends, after all.

Karen Heller: Beware strangers asking to be friends [Inquirer]

Abridged Daily News Columnists

Jill Porter: Ahh, the Daily News informs us once again how easy it is in this city to steal a house and how nobody ever bothers to investigate. Maybe the city will attempt to fix this sometime in the near future? Maybe Nutter could pass some new laws and have the National House-Stealing Association challenge them in court.

Rep. Proposes $5 Strip Club Tax

Above is Bucks County State Rep. Paul Clymer (click to enlarge for freakishly large version). The above dude wants to tax all strip club patrons $5 because he thinks they’re going to go out and rape people. “These clubs bring the problems of prostitution, drug and alcohol abuse and questionable characters,” said Clymer. “They have no redeeming value for communities.” Whee!

Also big on questionable characters: Libraries. (Really!) The money would go to fund the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape. Unfortunately for them, my guess is their lobbyists aren’t quite as good as the lobbyists for strip clubs, and so this will fail. Texas had a similar law that was struck down as unconstitutional, but Clymer says his law is better and constitutional.

Oh, yeah, and this idea is called a “pole tax.” Ha ha, just a little throwback line to the time when blacks, poor people and questionable characters were prevented from voting by rich politicians.

Clymer tax would hit strip clubs [Bucks County Courier Times]

Nutter At ‘Sex’ Premiere, And More

Oh, how could I forget: Michael Nutter will attend the Philadelphia premiere of Sex and the City. The people at Terry Hines & Associates apparently offered the mayor a free ticket to tonight’s invite-only screening of the movie, and the mayor accepted.

To note: This item about the mayor attending the screening of Sex and the City led off Mike Klein’s Sunday column. Come on, you can make something up about one of the celebrities in town shooting a movie, nobody will care. Better yet, create a celebrity — or pick someone from the Internet.

And, here’s more: Catherine Lucey’s favorite SatC character is Miranda (I’d guess). Sweeney writes about the marketing tie-ins locally, but more importantly decries tired vibrator jokes. Thank you!

Okay, that’s enough, no more mentions of this movie.