Philadelphia Will Do  
 

May

12

Smerconish Just Messing With Us Now

051208smerconish.jpg

I was grilling while we simultaneously played a game of family soccer. Four hand-molded ground sirloin patties simmered on the flame alongside four all-beef hot dogs. The smell of dinner wafted through the neighborhood as we staged a match between “Man U” and “Chelsea.”

That’s from the fourth paragraph of Michael Smerconish’s Sunday Inquirer column yesterday. Get it? Ha ha, he puts the things in quotes to show that soccer is stupid! Or he’s unfamiliar with it! Not a terrible writing tactic, but not one I’d like to go into my archives to see how often I’ve fallen back on it. But it’s kind of silly to put quotes around Manchester United and Chelsea, which is sort of like writing, “I was at this so-called sporting event, ‘The Olympics.’”

The column is actually about the exploitation of racehorses leading to Eight Belles’ death. But he’s also eating hamburgers at the same time, so maybe he’s making a point! OMG is Michael Smerconish going to become a vegetarian? Is he going to grill up murder suspects and eat them? Is it really funny that his dog is named Checkers?

The first two I’m not sure. But the third one is a definite yes.
 
dmac | 11:59 AM | 8 Comments
Eight Belles, Horses, Michael Smerconish, WTF
 
  1. andrew w Says: May 12 1:21 PM

    Ok I hate this guy, too, but I think the quotes were added to show they were pretending to be those sides.

    I imagine before they kicked-off, someone said, “OK, you be ‘Chelsea’ and we’ll be ‘Man U’”.

  2. chrissmari Says: May 12 1:42 PM

    I’m going to be “Man City” and beat Smerconish’s “Man U” twice this year.

    Then lose 8-1 to “Dmac” in the last game of the season :’(

  3. Dark Horse John Says: May 12 1:45 PM

    Yeah, the whole thing with City yesterday REALLY smacked of a tank job. 8-1 to Boro? Seriously? Boro? We’re supposed to believe that?

  4. Chrissmari Says: May 12 2:00 PM

    DHJ,

    Seriously, what the hell was that? I was supposed to hang out with my friend from Middlesbrough yesterday and instead had a bath with my hairdryer. If a match with boro cost us Europe AGAIN (this time thru fair play fuck up rather than a robbie fowler fuck up) i may just blow the town up.

    I was actually the Dark Horse yesterday annoyed with all the united supporters and following the City match along on my phone. I had to go before i sacrificed one of them to the ghost of Frank Swift.

    ughhh

  5. Dark Horse John Says: May 12 2:14 PM

    Most of the United supporters are totally decent folks and a couple are good friends of mine. If you were up in the Headhouse Square end of the room, though… yeah. Ugh. Those guys, not so much. I don’t recall seeing you there but then I was busy trying to watch two games at once.

    Also, they are saying the straight red IS in fact going to cost City the European spot, which just makes the whole saga with SGE that much more ridiculous. It will be nice to see USMNT East playing against Bakery Bratislava or whoever in the opening rounds though.

  6. chrissmari Says: May 12 2:28 PM

    fucking City. :’(

  7. jack Says: May 12 5:04 PM

    Man U supporters are like Steelers fans: they all have that smug sense of entitlement. Celtic supporters are the same.

    It would be nice to see Fergie swallow his gum next Wewdnesday night, after Drogba puts a couple of shots past Shaky the Goalkeeper.

    I am expecting Man U to win, though. But a Fergie/Scholes/Cristianoverated epic fail would make this forgettable football season a lot more palatable.

  8. redwolf Says: May 29 4:39 PM

    WTF? D-Mac, Your perspective is so twisted it’s amazing you can stand upright.

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