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Gold Prices Soar Because Of Ron Paul

RonPauleprechaun

Now that John “Walnuts” McCain has clinched the Republican nomination, it’s only fitting that everything seems to be going Ron Paul’s way — now that he has exactly zero shot of becoming president.

First, there’s the ongoing spike in gold prices and the popularity of gold parties, where everybody gets together and sells their gold to some dude who then sells it for higher on Jeweler’s Row. (I don’t know if they’re popular, but I heard it on the radio.) Ron Paul pays his bills in gold bars, so while he spends a lot of money on postage, he’s doing well in the pocket right now.

Then, there’s his 16 percent showing in Pennsylvania on Tuesday. Joe Murray in The Bulletin (your source for Republican primary news!) says the 27 percent Paul and Mike Huckabee received in the primary might mean people don’t like John McCain, then goes and quashes his own argument.

But, still, people still do love some Ron Paul, or at least love the things he loves (i.e., gold). This will surely culminate in his takeover of the White House via write-in vote this November, after which he will abolish the federal government, including the presidency.

  1. dmac Says: Apr 25 10:55 AM

    Yes, I posted this just so I could read some hilarious comments.

  2. Shawn Says: Apr 25 11:01 AM

    I hate Amnesty McCain. He wants to steal all the money of hard working whites so he can give it to filthy illegals who come here to steal our jobs and corrupt our morality and values. Ron Paul is the only candidate who will exterminate the scourge of all these illegals and blacks who feel entitled to everything our ancestors worked hard to achieve. They should get off their asses and go start their own country to make successful.

  3. jbk Says: Apr 25 12:24 PM

    blah blah blah SHEEPLE blah blah blah MONETARY POLICY blah blah blah HE STUDIED ECONOMICS blah blah blah CONSTITUTION blah blah blah

  4. herm Says: Apr 25 12:24 PM

    http://www.ronpaul08.com Hope for America

  5. Urbanus Says: Apr 25 1:21 PM

    I hope they start coming soon. I’m bored.

  6. Jon Says: Apr 25 3:32 PM

    Shawn sounds like such a typical moronic Ron Paul supporter. They’re all so elitists and racist. They think they know better than everyone else. Stop trying to force your beliefs on me, assholes.

  7. michael Says: Apr 26 3:40 PM

    >>>Posted by: Jon
    >>>Stop trying to force your beliefs on me…

    Actually, Ron Paul wants to let you do what you want, as long as you harm nobody. In other words, Ron Paul is the only candidate who will get the federal gov’t off your back and leave you alone!

  8. Jon Says: Apr 26 3:56 PM

    I don’t think people should be allowed to do whatever they want. It’s the federal government’s job to make sure the poor are lifted out of poverty and for that to happen the rich need to be less selfish. The government also needs to make sure large faceless corporations don’t take advantage of the poor.

  9. Devi Cholet Says: Apr 26 6:55 PM

    So far the Federal government has done a pretty lame
    job of taking care of the poor and pretty good job of making sure that faceless corporations get as many tax breaks as they can. When did it become the governments job to solve all of our problems? And who in the government will answer to all of the financial decisions that have left us bankrupt as a nation?

  10. Terry Parkhurst Says: Apr 26 8:05 PM

    One could perhaps assume that “dmac,” or more properly, “DMac” is just someone trying to have a prank, by fufilling the stereotype of a Ron Paul supporter, in what seems to be a reasonably successful effort to make anyone who supports Congressman Paul look (1) like a moron and (2) a major bigot. If it is not a prank, it is still safe to say that, from personal observation and experience, the former hardly seems the case (for the most part, although there are always exceptions, in any political campaign) and the latter, if it is the case, is not something that gets bandied about in public.

    That all said, the support for the baby doctor from Texas comes from a wide political spectrum - largely due to his steadfast opposition to the ill-considered invasion of Iraq and on-going occupation. That support includes the likes (i)The Nation(/i) columnist Alexander Cockburn and folksinger Arlo Gutherie - hardly right wing bigots.

    As to the price of gold soaring, with all due respect to the intellect and influence of Congressman Paul, it might be more attributable to Ben Bernanke.

  11. Terry Parkhurst Says: Apr 26 8:12 PM

    I’ll try this one more time. The magazine that Alexander Cockburn writes for, is The Nation.

  12. Jon Says: Apr 27 2:27 PM

    The constitution clearly gives the poor the right to be equal to the rich, so it’s the government’s job to guarantee the poor that right given to them by our Founding Fathers.

  13. Alexander Cockburn Says: Apr 28 2:48 PM

    I like burning cocks.

  14. Alexander Cockburn Says: Apr 28 2:50 PM

    My cock! It burns!

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