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Date » 2008 » March « Home

Larry Kane Will Put Obama Over Top

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Might as well post this now: Earlier today, Barack Obama’s camp accidentally sent out an email to the entire press list that was the contents of an email exchange between Famous Journalist Larry Kane and people from Barack Obama’s camp.

Here was the absolute best thing to ever be written in an email by anyone anywhere ever:

janet is in touch with you concerning getting Barack on Lynn Doyle’s show. I work with Comcast (hav my own show) and want to tell you that this show reaches ALL 67 counties in Pa… ITS A GREAT ONE

Secondly : I would like a 15 minute one on one with Sen Obama for KYW Newsradio. Anytime. Easy to do. Let me know… This will get super wide play because I’ll be involved.

Once again. don’t forget the union endorsements, this is for a commentary I’m doing tomorrow

Always with the union endorsements! Lynn Doyle mentioned in an email by Larry Kane accidentally sent out by Barack Obama’s staff as Monday’s “Daily Digest” is just about Philadelphia Will Do hilarity overload. I seriously just got high off typing that sentence. Oh, this is better than even runner’s high.

Nutter Tosses Out First Pitch, Is Nerd

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Here’s Philadelphia mayor Michael Nutter throwing out the first pitch of today’s Phillies game. As you may have noticed, he has his shirt tucked in. Joe Moore (you don’t know him) told me in fifth grade you don’t tuck in a sports jersey, and I learned my lesson. Nutter could rap “Straight Outta Compton” and he’d still be the biggest nerd in all of Philadelphia, just because of that shirt.

Blinq Loses The Staring Contest

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Hey, so Blinq has moved to the Inquirer’s in-house blogging platform and, ah, that’s the new logo. I’ve screencapped it instead of simply shrinking the original image because the page now has Harry Potter and Ben Franklin and 10 other people blinking at you aaaaaahhhhhhhh.

Meet the new blog [Blinq]

Liveblogging: Opening Day!

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The Phillies shirt is on and OMG ONLY AN HOUR ‘TIL OPENING DAY! If you’re looking for a baseball fix, Walkoff Walk is doing a nice job posting all the opening day starting lineups and pretending there weren’t a few games in Japan and Washington already.

Speaking of opening-day lineups, here are your 2008 Philadelphia Phillies!

SS Jimmy Rollins

CF Shane Victorino
2B Chase Utley
1B Ryan Howard
LF Pat Burrell
3B Pedro Feliz
RF Jayson Werth
C Carlos Ruiz
P Brett Myers

Whoo! Can you feel the excitement of Pedro Feliz and his .288 career on-base percentage batting 6th? I know I can. Join me when the game starts (at 3:05 p.m., technically) for liveblogging after the jump.

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Wawa + Fighting Strippers = Genius

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Ha ha, so three strippers got into a fight at a Wawa in the suburbs in the most awesomest story ever:

Police said Katrina Maslakova, 21, of the 400 block of Eighth Street in Lansdale, was cited for public drunkenness and released to a relative. The other two women involved were not charged, police said. According to Chief Chris Engelhart, a physical fight broke out among the women while they were in their car on the way to the Wawa.

Inside the convenience store, an argument erupted again, with all three screaming at one another.

Store employees called police to break it up. “It was probably a stupid thing they were fighting about,” Engelhart said. “They were all drunk, so it doesn’t really even matter what it was about.”

The first officers to arrive on the scene requested backup to help them break up the fight. Engelhart wasn’t sure how the officers knew they were strippers or which establishment they were from.

This is what we’re losing with the closing of Important Wawa Locations. Stripper fights! I can only assume they were fighting over the last bottle of Dr. Zip.

Strippers cause fracas in Hilltown Wawa [Intelligencer]

Unfit For Command: Obama Bowls 37

Yesterday, Barack Obama continued his bus tour across Pennsylvania with a stop in Altoona, home of the creepiest mascot in sports. He didn’t go to a Curve game, though; Obama went bowling!

And he bowled a 37. A 37! Some bowlers get as many points in one frame (30, for three consecutive strikes) as Barack Obama got in a game.

I’m not a good bowler, but we need our leaders to be the best in everything. What is Barack Obama going to do when Kim Jong-Il (an excellent golfer in his own right) calls him up at 3 a.m. and says he’s going to nuke the planet unless Obama scores a 50 down at the Thunderbird Lanes?

Pennsylvania Sen. Bob Casey was somehow even worse, apparently.

Hilarious Cops Suspended For Bad Joke

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You may remember Scott Schweizer, the lovable narcotics cop alleged to have had a KKK sticker in his locker. Well, now he and the officer who put the sticker on his locker are both back to walking to beat.

Commissioner Charles Ramsey suspended Schweizer and fellow narcotics cop Eric Dial for 20 days without pay and transferred them away from their elite jobs arresting black people for drug crimes. They’re now back to their original districts. Ramsey said they were bad dudes but weren’t racist, and so they get to keep their jobs. He actually even directly skipped a disciplinary hearing and just punished the guys himself they were so offensive and not racist.

Apparently, Dial actually created the “Blue by day, white by night” stickers and put it on Schweizer’s locker. Schweizer just put the two stickers into his locker and left them there, and now for some reason both men are being branded offensive-but-not-racist jokesters! No, really. That’s why they’re being suspended. “It’s my understanding that [Dial] thought that this was a prank, but it was in incredibly poor taste,” Ramsey said. If we start suspending cops for making offensive jokes, I don’t think we will have much of a force left.

The quote of the article once again comes from Rochelle Bilal, head of the Guardian Civic League, which represents the 3,000 black officers on the force. She says the demotion of the two officers “sends a message to the department that all jokes aren’t funny.”

All jokes aren’t funny! The police officers sure have learned a good lesson here. For news on how this new affects the most oppressed of all peoples, the white man, please head to police messageboard Domelights. Do you think white Philly cops change their names (á la the Nation of Islam) because they are so oppressed?

Phillies Home Opener Today!

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Ahh, what a day for a ballgame, eh?

Yes, today is the Phillies opener. The Fightins take the field fresh off a National League East championship last season and will probably not frustrate anybody ’til about the third inning today.

I’ll liveblog the whole home opener, which starts at 3 this afternoon.

Mayor Nutter On ‘Meet The Press’

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Even though he wishes the candidates would just stick to the issues like “crime in cities” or “free puppies for rapping mayors”, Mayor Nutter was asked about the comments Obama’s former pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, made. And what do you know! The Clinton supporter says he would drop out of his church if he heard comments like that.

Now the mayor went to St. Joe’s Prep and was raised Catholic. He’s now Baptist — which probably means one of those old Jesuits gave a sermon which was just too out there for Nutter. (One time in high school a priest was railing against the evils of the world and said, “Doctors… get to go on vacations… with their families!” I’m pro-doctor vacation, I believe.)

Our esteemed mayor was also on Face the Nation this weekend. Video after the jump.

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Abridged Daily News Columnists

There are no columns in today’s Daily News. (Best Abridged Daily News Columnists ever, etc.) But lookie here: Stu Bykofsky won an award from the Humane Society for his column where he wrote from the eyes of an elephant. Damn, if only I had done one in the eyes of Barbaro, I coulda raked in the big bucks.