Did Milton Just Save Himself?

Oh, Milton.

The Milton Street trial had gotten a little boring. Okay, two Neiman Marcus employees testified Street bought $11,000 worth of merchandise in cash — but it was at King of Prussia, not Franklin Mills. (Ex-mayor John Street goes to the movies there.)

The rest of the trial, we got testimony that led to reports like this: “Others, such as Rose DiOttavio, president of CoreCare Behavioral Health Management Inc., which operates the Kirkbride Center psychiatric hospital in West Philadelphia, testified that Street was paid $5,000 in 2001 to try to arrange a payment schedule for the company’s large debt to the Philadelphia Gas Works and an additional $18,000 to do the same with the city on its back taxes.” See? That’s about as interesting as one can make that sentence.

But — Hallelujah! — Street testified, and it was like March in Moorestown all over again. People were flocking to the scene to see the show. (Again, think of how great a city we’d be with City Councilman Milton Street all over the news.)

Milton somehow became a tax resister yesterday, saying he had examined the evidence and decided there’s no requirement for citizens to pay a federal income tax. The courts have routinely and unanimously thrown out any “tax protester” claims, ranging from alternate readings, things like “the state of Ohio didn’t ratify the 16th Amendment” and wild conspiracy theories. Me, I’d guess Milton is trying to emulate actor Wesley Snipes (pictured). Yes, even though the courts have consistently ruled against tax protesters, Snipes got off earlier this month. (Ron Paul pays his taxes, as far as I know; he just wants to eliminate them once he’s president.)

Street based his tax protest on the “OMB control number argument,” which is point 4.4 on Wikipedia’s list of statutory tax protester arguments. Basically, some tax forms don’t contain a number from the Office of Management and Budget control, and some people think this allows them to not have to pay their taxes. Are you really surprised that, among all the tax protest arguments Street could have chosen, he chose one of the stupidest?

Later, Street said if someone just showed him the law, he would plead guilty. Then he called all of the prosecution’s witnesses liars. Oh, and he got a black bag full of cash in a hotel like he was a college basketball recruit.

Milton also told the jury he was “like a rolling stone.” He also said that it was alright ma, he was only bleeding. Another trial highlight was this exchange reported entirely perfectly by the Inquirer’s Joseph Slobodzian.

“Let’s take five minutes,” interrupted U.S. District Judge Legrome D. Davis. Then, outside the jury’s presence, Davis quietly but firmly instructed a grinning Street about court procedure and told him that his comments about pleading guilty were “not fair” to a jury hearing evidence in a trial he wanted.

“Any other questions?” Davis asked Street.

“Just, could you put some ice into this water?” Street replied, motioning to the pitcher before him.

Davis explained that, at a recent holiday get-together in his chambers, he learned “there is not a single ice maker in this building. I had to go out and buy some. Do you want me . . . to go out and buy some?”

No, Street said.

Ha! “Put some ice into this water” has to rank up there as one of Milton’s best quotes, right after “In this country, one is presumed innocent… until one is found guilty” and “We have these [beer] stores run mostly by the Asians.”

Milton Street was also wearing a $3,500 suit jacket — or as we bloggers call it, “a year’s salary.”

Update: Hey, and CP’s Brian Hickey did a big ol’ cover story about Milton that ran yesterday. (Somehow, I’ve been so busy I missed it.)

Milton Street, tax resister [Inquirer]
Milton Street to court: Show me where it says I have to pay taxes [Daily News]
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