MLS Fans Already Mugged In Chester

“My mental impression is it’s like Camden but without the glitter,” said Gray Safford, 54, a Process Engineering manager who lives in Abington. He’s taking “a wait-and-see attitude: What do I hear from other people who have gone [to games]? Because I don’t want to be the first one to go down there with my kids.”

That’s a quote in today’s Inquirer piece on the Chester redevelopment along the waterfront, the centerpiece of which is a new stadium for the Camden Riversharks of Chester. Jeff Gammage asks if people will go to the games, especially since the stadium is in, um, Chester. (”People who know nothing else about Chester know it’s somewhere they shouldn’t go at night.”)

All the soccer team needs to succeed, allegedly, is about 13,000 people a game and a couple sellouts when David Beckham comes to town. The mayor says people already go to the casino, but nothing can bring the allure like a slots parlor. Plus, is the Harrah’s demographic also likely to go to a soccer game?

But, uh, really: I think you might be okay safety-wise if you go to a soccer game in Chester. Are there routinely muggings at Kixx or Wings games? Or, for that matter, the Camden Riversharks? I think the team might also have security, too; plus the $50 million of state money is going to turn that waterfront into a new Garden of Eden, only with golden sidewalks and no forbidden trees. Your children will be safe!

Me, I care more about the train stop, which is eight blocks from the stadium, thus continuing the recent tradition of having the transit stops ridiculous distances from our sports arenas. I can barely do the four-block walk to Citizens Bank Park. There will be shuttle buses, but I don’t know if I’ll settle for anything else than shuttle Segways.

How will Chester play to MLS fans? [Inquirer]

WawaTF, People: The Vigil Video

Intrepid Reporter Alli Katz — yet another PW employee whose talent I am consistently jealous of — went out to film the Wawa Vigil last night.

The results are up there with Mascot Monday and Milton Street’s casket jam. WawaTF, indeed.

Truly, a lamentable loss for the community. There is a Flickr series here done by djstarr as well. We will never forget.

Wawa Vigil [PW]

Rick Santorum Breaks Big News

American voters will choose between two candidates this election year.

This is the first sentence of his column yesterday. (Also, the Inquirer printed his email address wrong.) Thanks for the big scoop, Ricky!

Obama: A harsh ideologue hidden by a feel-good image [Inquirer]

Demons! Well, Okay, Not Demons

Ahh, remember how the all the local media reports on the church vandalism in Bucks County were about how a pair of “demons” showed up at a church. The police wouldn’t even report the demons’ names so as not to taint the investigation.

Anyway, it looks like it was just a bunch of stupid kids! Everyone already knew this anyway, but it’s more fun to write about demons and devils and whatever other shit was printed.

Four kids from Falls were arrested for allegedly vandalizing Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church earlier this month. There was also graffiti all over the area, but, you know, demons. Oh, and when one of the kids parents apologized the church was all like “OMGWTFHOWDAREYOU!!”

“He’s not a demon. He’s not a monster. This was not a hate crime,” Klein said. “He’s a smart kid who made a stupid mistake.” Klein said the vandalism had nothing to do with religion. He said Stetson’s parents are “mortified” but standing behind their son.

“Harry has never even tagged [done graffiti] before,” Klein said. “He bowed to peer pressure that night. He’s very sorry and willing to scrub it off if the church will let him.” It’s too late for that, said Kay McFarland, a spokeswoman for the parish.

“We took care of that already. We’re not going to let that kind of hatred and dirt stay on our statues. Come on, we weren’t going to leave that on our church,” she said.

Let’s just throw these stupid kids in jail for 30 years so they can be in prison with the rest of us. DEMONS!

Teens charged with church vandalism [Bucks County Courier Times]

Die Hard With A Suffix

I have no idea why this clip from Jeopardy! last night amuses me so much, but it does.

Abridged Daily News Columnists

Jill Porter: Whoo! We got that criminal who stole $100 fifteen years ago! JUSTICE!

Stu Bykofsky: Leave it to old people to do something about 150 billion times stupider (and, apparently, larger?) than the Wawa rally!

Wawa Vigil: TONIGHT! 11 PM!

A reader sends in another protest piece from some website where you can make your own ribbon magnets for your SUV.

Don’t forget, tonight at 11 is the Vigil for the Rittenhouse Square Wawa. I heard about this earlier today and I am now convinced it is the greatest thing ever, even though I’m not totally convinced it is real. Tonight at 11, we shall all stand tall for freedom and Tastykakes. I mean, as long as those Wawa fatcats don’t change the temperature to below 0 with their weather-controlling machines.

Here’s The Deal

Oh, so a bunch of you IMed me, so I figured I should let youse all know: No, comments aren’t gone forever. (Step off that ledge, 207!)

In short, things broke yesterday (due to Ron Paul spambots, I bet!) and I couldn’t post; turning off comments fixed it! They will return soon, though I don’t know when. But don’t worry! I enjoy being told I suck just as much as you guys like telling me, so I am going to work to make it happen ASAP. Honest!

Leftovers: News For The Mature Reader

• Some place in Pennsylvania is running billboards that say Crispy Frickin’ Chicken and people are upset. Good thing they don’t have any Cluck-U Chicken billboards up. Also, to localize this story, I drew a penis on the image. [AP/NBC 10]

• Former Fox 29 newsman Rob Guarino is writing a novel in the “weather-mystery” genre. (Does that just mean the killer is Hurricane Schwartz? Bolaris would make more sense.) Like Hemingway, Faulkner and the writer of the Book of John, Guarino will be asking for suggestions from his fans. [Phillygossip]

• I really enjoyed this headline from yesterday: “At City Hall Ceremony, Nutter Praises Black History Month Founders.” And why isn’t there a class on Black History Month’s founders in the public school system? [KYW 1060]

• Hey, hundreds rioted in Reading yesterday! [Reading Eagle]

• Lead of the day, from The Evening Sun (in Hanover): “Maybe the theory comes from cartoons, but it’s generally believed that dogs and mailmen are archenemies. That theory was tested Wednesday in West Manheim Township. ” [Evening Sun]

State-Funded Soccer Team Official!

Hooray! Chester, long shut out of the non-horse racing, non-Chester High School sporting world, has finally made it to the big time. Today the Sons of Ben have more to celebrate than the Wikipedia entry for the club surviving its deletion attempt.

We finally have a soccer team in Chester. The heroic agreement between a bunch of politicians and a bunch of investors will give $47 million of free money to rich people. There’s also going to be development! The stadium will be anchoring this even though everything everywhere ever has said stadiums aren’t a great anchor for community development. It will also be near a casino, of course, so that the transfer of money from the poor to the rich will continue. Chester and Delaware counties will also be contributing $30 million.

Why all this public money for a soccer stadium? Well, team investor Nick Sakiewicz summed it up nicely: “So - otherwise it would not happen.” On that note, this is $77 million politicians can’t waste on things other than a soccer stadium, and they’d just screw it up anyway.

The team doesn’t have a name yet, and the possibilities are endless: Bandits (as in one-armed), Vandals (it’s near the prison!), Chester Gentrification FC and, of course, the Subsidies. But, really, there’s no name better than the one a friend came up with, the Camden Riversharks of Chester. I can’t wait!

Update: In other soccer news, some 23-year-old youth soccer coach in Montco pled guilty today to unlawful conduct with a minor for sending dirty texts to a 13-year-old. And the prosecutor tries to make a funny, I think: “The thing that really struck me is he’s talking about skills in terms of sexual skills when he’s supposed to be teaching her soccer skills and that’s what’s really troubling to me…the context in which they met.” Yeah, that’s what struck me too.

Update 2: Just so you know, I am way totally psyched for a soccer team in town! Not as psyched as I would have been when MLS formed, but you take what you can get.