Abridged Daily News Columnists

Ronnie Polaneczky: Ooh, a lead that transitions from Christmas to WWJD bracelets to Alycia Lane. Neat! Anyway, this is the Alycia Lane insta-analysis column, which would be a perfectly fine column topic if it were right after the Lane story happened or it were before Christmas.

About halfway through the column it deteriorates into Polaneczky going around to shops in Center City and seeing if her reporter’s cred will get her to be able to cut in line. No, really. Oh, it’s a humor column. Huh.

Flavia Colgan: Nope, I (that’s me, your editor) haven’t learned anything about the Pakistan assassination yet and I’m not going to now.

Phil Goldsmith: This column points out that any tax cuts are going to cause a drop in city spending, which means you’ll die if you have a heart attack because the ambulance won’t get there in time. Happy new year!