Leftovers: Forsberg A Flyer Again?

• Here’s a list of all the people running for Congress and state legislature in Southeastern Pennsylvania in 2008. This list is great; now I can find all the hilarious candidates in one convenient location and make fun of them online! [SE Pa. Candidates 2008 Wikispaces]

• Inga Saffron writes the Kimmel Center might be redesigned to be a bit more friendly. It will cost a fortune, though; hooray! [Inquirer]

• Guess who the government planned for an attack from yesterday? That’s right: Bloggers. [AP/Press of AC]

• Peter Forsberg will return to the NHL. For some reason he loves Philadelphia and there’s a good shot the Flyers could get him back. [The 700 Level]

• A matchmaker in NYC is setting up young bachelors with rich sugar mommas. Capitalism at its finest! [Reuters]

• In news that should make every human, male or female, proud to be human, large breasts do not put a woman at risk for diabetes. Science at its finest! [Panic Watch!]

Phillies Might Have Shot In NL East After All

Above: A fax — a fax! — the Phillies sent to PW earlier today.

Looks like Pedro Feliz might be leading a victory parade down Broad Street after all! Today Jayson Stark reports the Mets and Johan Santana are having problems reaching an agreement on a contract extension, as for some reason the Mets don’t want to give him a guaranteed sixth year because… I don’t know, I would give Santana his own Ron Paul Blimp if he asked for it. He’s the best pitcher in the game, bar none.

Anyway, it’s unlikely the trade’s going to fall apart, but there is always hope, Phillies fans. And by that I mean there is always hope that will soon be crushed when Santana wins 30 games next year.

Sources: Mets likely won’t reach deal with Santana until Friday, if at all [ESPN.com]
Mets, Santana Hitting “Snag” [Balls, Sticks & Stuff]

Norman Braman Still Pissing People Off

Hey, remember Norman Braman? He was the Eagles owner/native Philadelphian who somehow became known as the French owner of the team who everybody hated and made the team wash their own uniforms and ride the subway to the game.

Anyway, he lives in Miami now, and right now he’s pissing off the local politicians and such by filing a lawsuit against a $3 million public works project he says will hurt the poor.

Although the money for the project is supposed to be slated for anti-poverty programs, it’s going to fund a new stadium for the Marlins, shore up the finances of the performing arts center and build a water front park for museums. Braman is going all out to stop it; he’s successfully held marketing blitzes to stop projects he didn’t like before.

One can only hope the 75-year-old will get so fed up he’ll run for mayor.

Citing principle, Braman relishes the fight [Miami Herald]
[Photo via Social Miami]

Well, At Least He’s Honest About It

Louis DeNaples in 2006 told investigators from the state Gaming Control Board: “To me, black people all look alike.”

Eh, it’s not really all that much different from John Street asking if a dead Frank Sinatra would make a campaign appearance for him.

Street ‘wouldn’t recognize’ big donor [Daily News]

The 76ers Also Play Basketball, Kinda

The 76ers are may not have Allen Iverson anymore, but they certainly can figure out a way to promote attending a game at the Wachovia Center! Comcast apparently wants you to go to the game and spill your food all over the floor so you’ll have to buy more. You also get to meet the Sixers Dancers with this “Guys Night Out” package, which means it’s only a matter of time before the PR team is setting them up as escorts if Sixers’ attendance continues to be 27th in the NBA.

Or, you know, the team could just continue to win by 43, like they did last night. But then they might have to advertise the basketball, which is not mentioned in this ad at all.

Man Commits Sin In Church

The Trentonian — cute headline, guys, though I’m not quite sure what he was “preying” on — reports today a civilian employee of the New Jersey state police has been arrested for allegedly looking at porn on a nun’s computer in Hamilton.

Thomas G. Findler, 42, was arrested after a sexton caught him looking at porn on the Episcopalian nun’s computer. Then, for some reason, he chased him out of the building.

The suspect had been logging on overnight to “hotyoungteens” and other fetish Web sites in a nun’s office at Grace St. Paul Episcopal Church (3715 East State Street), according to police and the maintenance man.

John Jones, the 35-year-old sexton (maintenance man) at Grace St. Paul, said he flushed out the intruder upon arriving at work about 8:30 a.m. yesterday.

“He said he was just looking at the computer,” Jones said, “but he was looking at porn.”

More »

A.C. Councilman To Be Just Visiting

Earlier this week, an Atlantic City Councilman’s lawyer asked for DWI and related charges to be dropped since Atlantic City won’t turn over discovery information. Hmm, shocking, that’s how things work down there? Who knew.

A Press of Atlantic City article yesterday detailed just what Councilman Tim Mancuso was doing at the time of the alleged drunk driving:

Mancuso was arrested after celebrating the jailing of a rival who had just been charged in connection with the 2006 blackmail taping of fellow Councilman Gene Robinson. It remains unclear what he was doing on the beach in his city-issued vehicle at about 2:20 a.m., and who he was with.

Atlantic City should just be ruled by a king or czar or something; it would probably be much better for everyone. Mancuso’s lawyer says the Breathalyzer results aren’t his client’s — somehow — and that politicians are allowed to break the law and drive on the beach. In a shocker, Mancuso was re-elected last November.

Meanwhile, a rookie cop in Millville got into an argument with his wife and she fired his gun. He’s been suspended.

DWI charges against Atlantic City councilman may be dismissed [Press of AC]
Tuesday: Getting Away With Driving On The Beach

The Onion For The Win

LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Exactly one year to the day after Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro was tragically taken from us before his time, an apparition of the beloved racehorse appeared in the morning sky to teach Americans from all walks of life about the true meaning of Barbaro Day.

The awestruck populace listened in rapt attention to the words of the great horse’s spirit as he urged the people to remove their metaphorical blinders and open their eyes to the world around them; to never put too much weight on their sesamoid and long pastern bones; and to remember that Barbaro Day is not just the day that Barbaro died, but the day that human beings learned to put their differences aside and treat one another as they would want a 1,200-pound racehorse to be treated.

Ghost Of Barbaro Appears To Teach Nation True Meaning Of Barbaro Day [The Onion]

Abridged Daily News Columnists

Michael Smerconish: “Well, everybody’s ‘crazy’ in their belief. Which means - and this was the point of the column - nobody’s crazy.” Uhh, Mike? You know, I don’t think those two sentences follow each other.

Jill Porter: Hey, maybe it’s good that the police and the community get along. Now if we can just get more KKK posters in the narcotics department, maybe the cops and drug addicts can hold hands and sing “Kumbaya.”

The Mayor Has Forgotten How To Drive

Michael Nutter has been mayor for only 24 days, but he’s already missing his car. KYW 1060 caught up with him at a preview event for the Philadelphia Auto Show:

Surrounded by local mascots, Nutter drove the [hybrid] car a few yards on the bridge between the Main Hall and Grand Hall, to promote Saturday’s opening of the show.

He says that as as mayor, he doesn’t get the chance to drive himself much anymore: “What I’d really like to do is just kind of go up and back for the rest of the afternoon and really test my driving skills.”

Come on, Mike! You have many, many more years of being chauffeured around town; by the end of your term(s) you won’t even remember where the turn signals are. All that info’s going to be pushed out of your brain anyway. Driving up and back a few yards isn’t going to do much.

Mayor Nutter Eyes Preparations for Upcoming Auto Show [KYW 1060]