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Street’s Last Act To Whip City Into Shape

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Leave it to John Street to introduce an initiative that references the 12 Days of Christmas… after Christmas. Yes, one of the mayor’s final acts in office is the city’s new health initiative.

You may remember John Street as the guy who’s in actual shape and who takes care of himself, unlike a previous mayor who shall remain nameless. Street got the city out of the pointless #1 spot in Men’s Health’s fattest cities list, and now he’s doing belated Christmas caroling.

“On the twelth day of Christmas, the Mayor gave to me, 12 celebrations, 11 bikin’ buddies, 10 acts of kindness, 9 sunlight minutes, 8 tips on eating, 7 hours of resting, 6 lung expansions, 5 super greens, 4 luscious fruits, 3 action workouts, 2 water jugs, and a health plan, en-tire-ly FREE!”

Whee. Now that’s a convincing list to get you into shape.

  1. chrissmari Says: Dec 27 2:41 PM

    i read bikin’ as chitlin’ because i’m racist

  2. ALB Says: Dec 27 3:41 PM

    Funny, I read bikin’ as bikini.

  3. dr. paul's balls Says: Dec 27 4:34 PM

    that’s interesting, because we read bikin’ as a balanced budget and robust economy, as envisioned and ultimately achievable only the adoption of a standard as gold as the codpiece that is currently cradling us.

  4. MBC Penis Says: Dec 27 5:41 PM

    Go figure, and I read bikin’ as fucking taxpayers in the ass.

  5. HIG Says: Dec 27 6:43 PM

    Bikin’, bilkin’, whateva.

  6. dmac Says: Dec 27 9:46 PM

    You know, I was thinking: Even though the 12 days of Christmas are, um, after Christmas, does anyone sing that song AFTER the holiday?

  7. RPP Says: Dec 28 3:01 AM

    I do, if it’ll get me elected.

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