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Abridged Daily News ColumnistsElmer Smith: Wow, people will make up lies to win elections? No! Christine Flowers: Well, I’m not on any government assistance that requires your house to be raided, so let’s do it to some poor people instead! Oh no you’re not allowed to use that kind of reasoning to criticize me, though! Jill Porter: Another in the Jill Porter “Columnist Who Cried Wolf” series, this time it’s about how this new Hershey’s mint looks like crack. This probably deserves a full post later today, but for now I’d just like to thank Hershey for fighting the good fight in the war against prohibition! |
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I hear those Hershey’s mints are so potent they sent people to the emergency room with OVERDOSES!
They’re actually AK-47 brand mints.
Thank goodness nothing else in the world looks like drugs or drug paraphernalia.
And also, everyone’s getting mints for Christmas.
“What if a drug dealer mixed some in with real street drugs and sold them to an unsuspecting buyer - who retaliated with a spray of bullets?”
Remember kids, when selling drugs be sure to sell only the good stuff and don’t step on it too much.
How did Christine not mention Duke????
“…we expect the government to hsve some handle on the money that it dispenses - our money- whether it goes to the poor, the sick, or farmers or defense contractors.”
Yep, that sounds just about right. No exceptions.