Philadelphia Will Do  
 

Nov

27

Del. Man Sues Doctors For Doing Shitty Job

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A Delaware man has filed a lawsuit against several doctors for allegedly screwing up a reversal of his colostomy in 2005 that made him piss out his ass and shit out his penis.

Doctors originally allegedly messed up his colostomy by accidentally stapling his colon to the bladder instead of the rectal stump, The News-Journal reports. This accidentally made him pass stool and gas through his penis.

Go ahead, go clean up your vomit, I’ll be here to finish the story after you’re finished.


The man’s lawsuit alleges he went into the hospital for abdominal pain in 2005. Doctors later notified him he’d need a temporary colostomy, which makes you shit into a bag from your abdomen but isn’t nearly as disgusting as it sounds. (Really, it isn’t.)

Three months later, he came to have the colostomy reversed, which is when the problem allegedly occurred. Quoting the lawsuit: “As a consequence of the error, fecal matter and urine were mixed and diverted so that fecal matter entered the bladder and was discharged through the urethra and urine was discharged through the colon.”

The News-Journal even found an expert to discuss the incident:

Dr. Scott D. Goldstein, director of colon and rectal surgery at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia, said he had not seen the suit and is not familiar with the specific case. He said this type of surgical error has been documented before, “but it should be rare as hen’s teeth.”

Goldstein said colostomy removals can be difficult and tedious procedures in which the bladder can get in the way. Adding to the difficulty, Goldstein said, are anatomical changes caused by the initial surgery.

“These structures are very close to one another,” Goldstein said. “But it shouldn’t happen. I can’t say more than that.”

Doctors later fixed the problem, but the lawsuit says his life is still all messed up from shitting out his penis. Whenever the suit gets to trial, the man is expected to win 900 trillion dollars.

Colostomy reversal botched, suit says [The News Journal]
 
dmac | 2:41 PM | 7 Comments
Bodily Functions, Colostomies, Delaware, Disgust, Doctors, Things That Make You Go Vomit, WTF
 
  1. yt Says: Nov 27 3:57 PM

    I’m pretty sure this guy deserves every US dollar ever printed, and a good chunk of the Canadian ones too.

    Please never write about this again.

  2. Double D Says: Nov 27 4:17 PM

    Hey, let’s look at the bright side: It took a step out of the Dirty Sanchez process.

  3. Lynn Says: Nov 27 11:32 PM

    There are a lot of frivolous lawsuits in the world. This isn’t one of them. I hope he gets his 900 trillion dollars. And also: ew.

  4. Anonymous Says: Nov 29 7:17 PM

    Okay, yeah, ew, poor guy does deserve some kind of compensation, but I think 900 TRILLION dollars is a little absurd. What the hell is he going to do with all that money? Wouldn’t it be better if the money was actually put to GOOD use like…ya know…education or something???

  5. dingo Says: Nov 30 12:40 AM

    um yea probably not real. i don’t think they’d pay him 900 trillion. That’s like the equivolent of combining wealth of the the U.S. end European economies and handing it to someone. I don’t think the doctors have that kinda bank.

  6. Amy Says: Nov 30 8:53 PM

    My only concern here is that he must have had one helluva UTI!
    Other than that, all’s well that ends well. There are far worse things that could happen.

  7. Memememe Says: Dec 1 2:49 PM

    I wonder what happened to his… uh.. part - after that? Can he still feel sex and stuff?

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