God’s Warriors Not So Proficient In HTML, Photoshop

The above is the official website of the Million March 4 God, an event apparently so important the organizers decided not to get a real website or spellcheck anything. The event will be officially introduced tomorrow at Independence Mall. (The march will take place in DC, though.)

The MM4G is organized by Joel Cody, who was also part of the Guardian Angels, Live Aid and Hands Across America, all other equally annoying events and groups. The Daily News summarizes the event as encouraging a law to mandate insurance for handguns, pushing to require annual mental health checks for guns — these previous two planks have about as much chance of happening as I have being elected Pope — and asking churches to provide in-house medical care.

Of course, the official website makes no mention of that, choosing instead to talk about — what else? — the Big G:

If you are like us, you believe that the seperation of Church and State that presently exists, is twisted out of context and proportion. Our forefathers never meant to remove Church from Government, nor Government from the Church. They viewed history and throughout history, either the Church controlled the State, or the State controlled the Church. Our forefathers were seeking to avoid either situation from happening.

Pure and simple, our forefathers meant only to avoid histories past mistakes and prevent one from controlling the other. Our forefathers were Composed mostly of Godly Men! We are seeking to restore optional prayer back into our schools, our courts, and any area of our Government. The majority of people in this nation believe in God.

After that rant on the evil secularists, the website then says, “God was in the Hand of Thomas Jefferson when he wrote the Declaration of Indepence [sic].” Yes, what better example of how church and state should be intertwined than a man who didn’t believe in Christ’s divinity and who said, and I quote from him directly, there should be a “wall of separation between Church and State.” Good job, guys!

Of course, when you delve past the first page is where things start to get really strange. Take, for example, the page on health care:

Well we need to device a whole new plan. One where giant corporations are kept out of individual choices. One that does not incorporate socialized medicine. Socialized medicine is a failure all around the world. Why copy something that does not work?

Wait, what? So, no corporations controlling medicine, no socialized health care… who’s going to … oh, right: “So who will control these doctors? How about God?” And what’s God going to tell them? That’s right, he’s going to tell them to stop using medicine.

We do not believe that Western Medicine has all the answers. People should be free to make choices outside of conventional Western Medicine and not suffer not being able to do so. Prayer holds a lot of healing. Herbs have been proven effective for centuries, well beyond modern day medicine and synthetic drugs. In fact, look at all the side effects of any synthetic drug. Are there alternatives that doctors are NOT allowed to use? You bet.

East meets West and bringing back a lot of good history of natural care, somewhere in between all of these, is where the answers are. God put all things for medicine on the Earth that we need. The Bible tells us that. The Government says that only Synthetic drugs are approved for our treatments and that natural products are unapproved. Is God wrong?

Yes, that’s what God wants us to do. He wants us to forget all the advances we have been able to make in modern medicine and let everyone die. I mean, how many more miracles can Katherine Drexel do? But, hey, Sony is sponsoring this march! Even though the website says it is anti-big business. Maybe Sony is just one dude. Man, he must be super-talented.

God, I can’t take this anymore.

Update: Also, Rudy Giuliani, Hillary Clinton and the President will all be at the march, they say. I can only assume they’ll all be proposing to eliminate the FDA and replace it with God.

Million March 4 God
Million March 4 God Blog
‘Million March for God’ planned for next Oct. [Daily News]