Correction: Blogs Not All That Free Spirited

When I make a mistake, I usually simply correct it in text, note it, and move on. Sometimes if it’s a spelling error nobody’s noticed I don’t note it, but, you know, there are plenty uncorrected spelling errors on this site that make me look stupid enough. I mean, who knew there were two i’s in missile? Anyway, sometimes the errors I make are so egregious a full post is necessary. This is one of those times.

Actual email received earlier this week from one Warren Hoffman, dramaturg for Philadelphia “Theatre” Company:

As the dramaturg for Philadelphia Theatre Company and speaking on behalf of our staff, I’m writing to say that we take great offense to the “obviously” factual errors in the recent posting about Edward Albee (link). While the cracks about Oklahoma! and Virginia Woolf are obviously wrong and “silly,” the presentation of such factual errors in conjunction with Mr. Albee’s career does a disservice to him and to us, Philadelphia Theatre Company. While we are aware that there is a “free-spirited nature” to blogs, insofar as this particular blog is affiliated with Philadelphia Weekly, a newspaper with which we have a strong professional connection, it is upsetting to have one of our nation’s most esteemed playwrights be treated by your paper in this disreputable way. We would like, please, either the erroneous facts to be corrected immediately or a retraction printed.

I’ll let you in on a little secret about the writing process here at Philadelphia Will Do. Frequently, “free-spirited nature” means “making it up as I go along.” Actually, that might be all the time. Regardless, I usually make a post and worry about what dramaturgs I may have angered later. But I took time out from my busy schedule of making love to/fun of Philadelphia to wonder, “Naw, these jokes are pretty stupid. Edward Albee writing Oklahoma! is just so dumb it’s a joke Dave Barry would reject.

Then I realized I was spending too much time worrying about it so I left it in and moved on to other activities, like pulling a pretty smart PR stunt fighting the good fight against PR people.

Anyway, it is time for a correction: Edward Albee did not write Oklahoma! His magnum opus, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, is not about being afraid of reading Virginia Woolf in English class. It is about a fake dead baby. (I have just ruined it for you.) His play does, however, contain fewer sexual content than your average Wiggles content; that I stand by.

I don’t know what I love most about Mr. Hoffman’s letter — okay, I do, it’s the veiled threat of pulling advertising — but I am confused by one point: If you remember the original post, it was just basically a couple paragraphs around a link to Dan Gross’ Daily News column. In Gross’ column, he reported he was in the bathroom with Albee — who was invited for the opening of the PTC’s new Suzanne Roberts Theatre — and the playwright did not wash his hands.

I contacted Gross, and no one from the Philadelphia Theatre Company contacted him to complain about his column about Albee not washing his hands.

Once again, a member of the elite, whether a state representative or a dramaturg, has attempted to silence the important missives I spew forth every day. Well, fine sir, I will not stand for it! If I want to joke that Edward Albee wrote fucking “American Pie,” I will, no matter how little sense it makes or how little humor it produces. That’s just the kind of journalism I will provide you every day, no matter how much the dramaturgs and the state representatives don’t like it.